I guess if I'm going to take the suggestion of the 12 steps of AA as my program of recovery....I'm going to thoroughly follow the path they laid out in the book...Why?....Because that's the way it says I have the best chance to succeed.
-- Edited by Stepchild on Friday 27th of July 2012 04:25:50 PM
Aparently today's meeting was over run by some chicks share about people judging other peoples recovery. And responses tended to consist of "we judge others to justify our behavior" types of comments.
But I thought... There Isnt a right or wrong way to do this recovery thing. There are things that work, and things that don't work.
Would you agree?
__________________
In the end, everything will be alright. If it is not alright, it is not the end... Paulo coelho (also marigold hotel)
Aparently today's meeting was over run by some chicks share about people judging other peoples recovery. And responses tended to consist of "we judge others to justify our behavior" types of comments. But I thought... There Isnt a right or wrong way to do this recovery thing. There are things that work, and things that don't work. Would you agree?
Definitely agree. And that is, given the goal of abstinence, the AA position; "...every member is perfectly free to arrive at an individual understanding of the program."
That's the main reason the program works. It is so much based on suggestions rather than orders and requirements.
However there is some of that judgmentalism that flows through certain groups in AA. Pretty negative. Pretty misquided. Drives people away . . .
Down here we call this "taking other peoples 'inventory'"... ... ... if you've been around long enough and have gotten to know and understand what the program is all about, then you're inevitably going to start taking other peoples inventory ... No matter how hard we try not to, we do it anyways ... most of us, most of the time, keep our thoughts of how others are working(or not working) in the program to ourselves ... As we become more strongly connected to the spirituality of the program and our connection to God, ... we tend to work on keeping 'our side ' of the street clean rather than worrying about someone else's mess ... useless, of course, they come to us to ask for our advice ... then we freely go about helping them any way we possibly can ...
Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I agree with everyone on this one. Some people are so proficient at taking their own inventory that they take others instead, LOL. I mean, what's up with that? Let's face the facts, though; it's just another case of deflection mentality, that's all. I choose to focus on sobriety instead because that's where the solution lies, within the AA principles. So focus as we do and live.
Aloha Neophyte...good post and great awareness. Stay with the awareness that you have the stuff to do this thing we call sobriety. I've been around a long long time and every member I've met has been dyed in the wool human with an angle on sobriety I could use myself and a question, "so how did you handle that one?" We do this as a group...a fellowship. Keep coming back. (((hugs)))
There are just things. And for every "thing" there will be people it will work for, and people it wont work for. There will always be an exception, and plenty of people to argue a point.
For example, if I had not taken my sponsors inventory, I would not have grown to have faith in her to guide me with my HP into a new life.
Why we judge others is part of instinct. Having a debate about why we shouldn't do it, should simply be a debate. Obviously we need to make some judgements about how much, and in what way to judge others ; P
The way I see it TODAY is: My resilience to the negative experiences I have in life can be influenced by a positive role model. My positive role model is AA. As a whole, the diversity in the way people from all walks of life think, act, do - teach me in a way that hanging around with people who only think like me, and agree with me all the time, could never do.
Today, unlike a few months ago, I can do more than just tolerate having to live on Earth with other people. I can appreciate the ones who see the world differently than me... because they really teach me a new way of thinking. That's what my goal is.
Sure I love it when I get that warm fuzzy feeling because someone views things just like me, and we think alike, love the same things, even have the same taste buds... it's nice... and I appreciate that too, but only because I know why.
__________________
Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Yes, there are things that work and don't work. That is why there are slogans for pretty much everything. There are even slogans that directly contradict each other such as "Think, think, think," and "Don't think, don't drink." In life, you need different coping skills for different situations. Also with our differing personalities - some things work better or resonate more with us than others. Hence, you can have 2 people who are both in AA who are both working a program that keeps them sober but the programs are different. Also, the 2 people are very different and would not get along ordinarily. Most times the common cause triumphs though. However different someone's program seems from mine, it's all stuff learned in AA. Stick with the folks who have what you want.
Folks that whine about being judged are playing victim most of the time. That used to be my M.O. and I slip back into it quickly if I don't watch out for it.
**Note: I recognize I stated in another post that a person was judging and they should stop. I don't whine about it. I just judge them back and get mad. Much more mature.
P.S. I am perfect and my poo smells like roses. Rule 62 - no givesies backsies.
-- Edited by pinkchip on Saturday 28th of July 2012 12:14:15 PM
__________________
Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Just another part of AA you live with....Don't take anyone else's inventory...And stick with the winners....For me....Keeping it simple means....Don't over think it!.....Keep coming back!!
