Starting over. Not on the forum I mean... but in my recovery. I won't fail today...
To be realistic... there's a chance I'll wind up being wrong. I'm resisting what my body is insisting will make me feel better--and in the short term, it WOULD make me feel better in some ways... but even under the influence these days... I still don't really wind up feeling as good as I expected when I cave in :/
Where's mah poker chips? I'm going to keep chips in my pocket as encouragement... but awarding myself with a new chip for hours... 1 hour, 5 hours, 10 hours, etc. Then I'll switch over to days if that should ever happen! THEN graduate to the official year chips. I need short term self-acheivement-acknowledgement right now. Years or even days at a time nothing... this is hard from hour to hour. Sometimes I get the urge and call someone up from AA and we talk and I feel great... but an hour or 2 later... I'm back where I was... fighting the urge to drink!
Keep at it Erica. You're not a failure. You're an alcoholic- like me. Our default setting is to seek relief when we don't feel good. The success will come with consistency and the willingness to change. Bring the body and the mind will follow. This diesase is cunning, baffling and powerful. Your head is not your friend at the moment.
Pray for the obsession to be lifted, Post here, make lots of phone calls(1 may not be enough early on), lots of meetings, find a Sponsor and start in on the steps. Wash, rinse and repeat. Worked for me and countless others.
"For some reason or other, the Lord has laid out tougher paths for some of us, and I guess you are treading one of them. God is not asking us to be successful. He is only asking us to try to be. That, you surely are doing, and have been doing..."
To be realistic... there's a chance I'll wind up being wrong. I'm resisting what my body is insisting will make me feel better--and in the short term, it WOULD make me feel better in some ways... but even under the influence these days... I still don't really wind up feeling as good as I expected when I cave in :/
Your body is not asking for it...Your mind is...That's where the problem is...In our minds....And you're never going to feel better after drinking again...You've crossed that line....And when you do that..You don't go back....Drinking is no longer fun for us...There is no problem in this Universe...That alcohol can't make worse. Just do the best you can to not pick up today.
One thing that helped me in early withdrawal was to have a bowl of hard candy nearby ... or chocolates if you prefer ... but when the cravings for a drink got real bad, I'd pop some candy in my mouth ... .... ... seems that the sugar that's in alcohol is part of the craving process ... so if you substitute it with candy instead of the alcohol, it makes it easier to NOT drink ... It worked(helped decrease the cravings) for me ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Starting over. Not on the forum I mean... but in my recovery. I won't fail today...
To be realistic... there's a chance I'll wind up being wrong. I'm resisting what my body is insisting will make me feel better--and in the short term, it WOULD make me feel better in some ways... but even under the influence these days... I still don't really wind up feeling as good as I expected when I cave in :/
This crap sucks...
Somehow I wound up being right... I didn't fail... I didn't have a drop of alcohol today even though today I had the same conditions that made me "know" I would fail yesterday... had to work a 2nd shift with a coworker. It wasn't as hard as it sometimes is... I did have urges once or twice an hour but every time I did, I said "NO!" inside my head.
