I fail to see any good reason to delay the fifth step too ... Actually 'the sooner, the better' has always been my understanding ... ... ... For all the steps !!!
Completion of a step is entirely dependent on the 'readiness' of the individual and the successful completion of previous steps ... The fifth step can be a little stressful and I feel it should be done without delay ... It may be time to be blunt with your sponsor and just come out and ask ... Is there a reason for the delay or not ... and keep in mind, you CAN do your fifth with someone other than your sponsor ... clergy is good ... go to a monk that doesn't know you from Adam ... just do it ...
This is an important step and I had my sponsees burn their list when I felt they'd done it fully and sincerely ... I asked them to do their own little ceremony in the back yard or in the park at a grilling unit ... but never the less, this is closing the door on an old way of life, and opening the door on a new one ... this successfully completes steps six and seven ... and it should have a significant 'impact' on you ... so DON'T DELAY ANY LONGER ...get it done ...
That's my opinion, and it ought to be yours ... LOL
Pappy
-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Monday 23rd of July 2012 08:44:13 AM
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I don't think the Book tells us it has to Be our Sponsor we Tell Our 5step to. If your really itchin to get it out... Try à preist/Rabbi/ Complete stranger. Some one told me he flew to japan and sat next to an old fisherman and read it to that guy.
And when your sponsor has time, you can certainly read it to her.
-- Edited by Neophyte on Monday 23rd of July 2012 09:06:49 AM
__________________
In the end, everything will be alright. If it is not alright, it is not the end... Paulo coelho (also marigold hotel)
Sponsor had something come up. I'm thinking she's rescheduled this 4 or 5 times now. Still feel like it's part of the plan, but am not seeing why yet. I teeter on being upset, but never lose faith that it's exactly where I'm suppose to be. My faith in that remains strong today, and I'm sure that when it is revealed to my soul, there will be no questions.
Am I losing the "gusto and momentum"? A little. I realized it the other day, and my first reaction was to blame her. But a split second later, I was able see my part in it. I can only lose my momentum, if I lose my momentum. No one can lose it for me. I wouldn't blame someone else if I lost my keys now would I?
My camping trip was truly relaxing. I took an early 1 hr hike alone in the woods, before the mist had lifted. I heard birds singing that I've never heard before, and momentarily got very scared and alone feeling. I felt for my phone - oh ya - no reception anyway. No one was awake, and no one knew where I was. I thought about the bears and wolves pictured on the warning sign at the entrance of the state park where we checked in to the camp ground.
The first mile was behind me, and the trees were so thick, I could not see a break in any direction. A shiver came over me, but all at once, a little squirrel jumped out before me. Busied with his breakfast, and bounced along down the trail. I knew it was a sign. I realized if that little squirrel could do it, so could I, and I was reminded of the initial feelings I had when meeting with my sponsor.
Her story made me realize that people were doing this recovery thing. And if she could do it, so could I. I trusted we were put on the path together, and decided not to question that.
I've done that imperfectly, but it's progress. I'm not looking for reasons it wont work, or our differences anymore. Sponsor hopping in a small town, is about as fun as bar hopping naked in a small town.
More importantly, bouncing from one person to the next, is something I would do in the past. My recovery involves changing my old ways. Not flying in with a fake smile, and leaving when you realize it's just an act. AA is where I can truly be me, not allowing that to happen, halts my recovery. I have this shelter from the rain, but sometimes I step back out to splash in the puddles. I'm like a kid in many ways yet, but I keep my eyes on the old timers and am grateful they are watching over me, telling me to come in out of the storm when I get lost in my own little imaginary world.
__________________
Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
It will happen in God's time...Maybe your sponsor was ready to do it on Saturday while you were camping...Nothing happens in God's world by mistake.....Just let her know you're ready to get er done!...And pray that you have a good fifth step...That worked for me.
Yes, I agree Stepchild. She does know I'm ready, we've both been busy and she will not sponsor me if I don't do my 5th step with her, so I must wait for the time she will have. She'll have it soon I'm sure. She does understand the urgency to keep moving along. I wanted to be clear about the change in my attitude toward this, compared to a few months ago.
__________________
Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
I agree about God's timing in this. It is so odd...my 5th step was delayed a bit too and so was my sponsor's when she did hers. I wonder about that. It's almost like we are given extra time to think about making this step. I am grateful for that now. It's such a powerful and life changing undertaking.
I'm glad the camping trip went well for you! :)
__________________
I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
"There are few absolutes inherent in the Twelve Steps. Most Steps are open to interpretation, based on the experience and outlook of the individual.Consequently, the individual is free to start the Steps at whatever point he can, or will."
I don't know...For me...Having my sponsor identify my charactor defects in step five was invaluable for doing steps six and seven....Call me old school...Even though I'm new....I prefer to do them in order...As laid out in the book.....I even meditated the hour....Before doing my seventh step prayer. That quote you have there seems to be more about when you start them..That's just my opinion though...I'm sure there are a lot of different ones.
Tasha, your very patient to be willing to take a step back and wait. But when you said:
"and she will not sponsor me if I don't do my 5th step with her"
is this common? I feel like I'd atleast like to have the option to pick who I felt most comfortable with... Say, if I wanted to read it off for the first time with Shirley instead of leverne. I get that a sponsor is someone you should be closest with or comfortable and trustworthy but this rule sounds weird to me... Kind of like "the only path to salvation is through me" when a different proverb says "the truth is a pathless land"
__________________
In the end, everything will be alright. If it is not alright, it is not the end... Paulo coelho (also marigold hotel)
Is there any one best way of sponsoring a newcomer?
The answer is NO. All members are free to approach sponsorship as their own individual experiences and personalities may suggest. Some sponsors adopt a more or less brusque, "Take if or leave it" approach in dealing with newcomers. Others exhibit extreme patience and great personal interest in the people they sposor. Still others are somewhat casual, content to let the new person take the initiative in asking questions or seeking help in special situations.
Each approach is sometimes successful and sometimes fails. The sponsor has to decide which to try in a particular case. The experinced sponsor recognizes the importance of flexibility in working with newcomers, does not rely on a single approach, and may try a number of different approaches with the same person.
Out of; "Questions & answers on Sponsorship" General Service Conference-approved literature.
Note: This pamphlet is very useful -- both for sponsors and sponsees. Anyone use this?
Neo - I'm not sure how common it is... this will be my first go at it. As far as her only wanting me to do the 5th step with her, I was upset about that at first, but now understand that because she was sponsored that way, she only feels comfortable sponsoring in that way. So I chose to stick with her, even though I would have preferred to do my 5th step with someone else. I'm going with the "I don't know what's best for me" approach ; )
__________________
Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Glad to hear you are ready to do the 5th, and with your sponsor. It will happen soon enough, I'm sure you've already started to get rid of some of that "stuff"
__________________
Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
