and the whole time Ive had a mother refusing to ever lend me a single dollar but whenever I need food or whatever shes right here...Im a "cool" guy arent I?. Us alcoholics arent really superstars are we??? We sorta thought so for a lot of years....
-- Edited by Closer on Wednesday 18th of July 2012 03:41:52 PM
Im going to my 40th or 43rd ? meeting in the last 15-18 days or so. Ive realized something...This evil thing in my soul is alcohol...and hold on, I never really noticed it but I did a whole dumptruck of drugs too? didnt i?
When Did it start, mustve been in high school with some real losers for friends, but here at the end can I really blame anyone or can I just keep coming to meetings and get this evil thing out of my soul thats drugs and alcohol...and hold on?? Do I have a family somewhere, did I once live with a whole bunch of wonderful people, is there still a mother staying in touch with me??? Do I understand why Ive been left alone??? Have I been the nicest charming man to be aorund for the last 7 years or so??? I was a bit sick wasnt I? I havent really been the greatest guy Have I?
Im not really a bad guy but I think Ive got this "problem" figured out...IT really is drugs and drinking isnt it???
Totally thought I was meant to be a rock start. I was listening to my favorite drinking song from my early drinking days - love me 2 times by the doors. Glad I wasn't meant to be the kind of rock star I thought I was, I would be dead like all of my favorites - janis, jimmy, john, elvis... all under the ground.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
You know what I found out Closer?....That alcohol actually stole my soul. When I walked through the doors of AA...I was spiritually bankrupt....No soul left. It took working those 12 steps for me to get it back....That's pretty amazing if you think about it. That those 12 simple...beautiful steps could not only restore me to sanity as far as my drinking goes....But they could give me my soul back....I thank God for that.
Yeah, I was a sick puppy myself for many years, before I finally sobered up that is. My so-called friends were sick and twisted individuals just like me. So after I sobered up we lost contact, surprisingly. I guess you can understand why? We never connected, except for alcohol. It's great that you can focus more on sobriety now that you've figured that part out. So the only other thing we can say is...enjoy your newfound freedom.
you are seeing the first fruits of your sobriety congratulations as the withdrawl lessens and the mind clears we begin to enjoy life again and feel that we want to live this new lifethat we see in front of us. I encourage you if you haven't get a sponsor to help guide you through the steps i promise it only gets better from here keep up the good work
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Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life. Romans 8:6 , The Message
