Hey all..I'm having kinda a weird experience. I worked in a steakhouse for close to 6 years.. Haven't worked there in almost 2 years, though I made plenty of friends there, some of whom I'm still in close contact with. Well, the place (that's been around for 40yrs) closed its doors for good yesterday with noooo notice for its employees. My first concern , of course, is for my friends and former coworkers who are suddenly unemployed through no fault of their own. I'm so grateful that I have a job (2 actually). Makes me realize you can't take things for granted. I've been calling to talk with my old pals to see how they're coping and if I can help in any way. My mind is also flooded with memories. While I was employed there my alcoholism rapidly progressed. I began really hitting the bottle hard. Like waiting outside for the bar to open and closing the place hard. My insanity also grew during this period. I was a disaster the whole time I worked there. Anyway, so now I'm catching up with old friends..some I've chosen to tell I'm in aa. Guess what? Not one of them seemed surprised in the least. NOT ONE..haha. Here I was thinking I was putting on a good show and hiding the fact that I was a raging alcoholic.. Nope. Another thing? They were all very proud of me and supportive and asking me questions about aa. Now, the social scene of the restaurant business revolves around booze, and it's notorious for nurturing drinking problems. Of course, at the time I worked in this particular place I was really into talking about the drinking problems of others, not realizing I was the one THEY were all worried about. Crazy huh? I'm so grateful I'm in recovery now, and that I actually do have some pretty cool and great people in my life..who truly care about my well being. Bad circumstances to reconnect under, but grateful nontheless.
There is a Zen story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. "Such bad luck," they said sympathetically.
"Maybe," the farmer replied. The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. "How wonderful," the neighbors exclaimed.
"Maybe," replied the old man. The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune. "Maybe," answered the farmer. The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out. "Maybe," said the farmer.
Who knows, lose a job, reconnect with an old friend who plants the seed that leads to sobriety for a still suffering alcoholic... maybe.
I've heard that story...That in a spiritual book I got....I'll have to add that book to that thread. As far as restaurants go...I got my PHD in drinking in that business...25 years in fine dining restaurants from Puerto Rico to Boston....Worked with some serious alcoholics...Myself included. It's amazing when you reconnect with any old drinking buddies and tell them you are in AA....They are all happy for you...For a minute....Then they want to know all about it.
Here's a story that I just remembered about the place I currently work nights. You'll appreciate this stepchild, as someone who worked in the business. This is what a dumbass I was... The owner of the place sat me down one day (he's my age and drinks plenty himself) and told me that I was no longer allowed to drink after work at the bar, not because of my behavior, but because I "was killing myself and he wasnt going to literally sit there and watch me do it with his booze". So I just went to the bar next door after work instead!!! Hello?? Talk about denial. And I realize he's a good guy, It just took me a while to realize he was trying to help me.
It's hard to work in that business without drinking...Something about getting off of work at midnight...wide awake with a pocket full of cash.....Just doesn't ring of sobriety. I had a few bosses like that....They fired me just to try and save my life...I'd just find another "job". Dangerous place to be for this alcoholic.
Hey Colleen, ... ... I had to laugh when you said you were surprised your old friends and co-workers weren't surprised that you were in AA ... that you though you were 'hiding it' pretty well ... I too found out later, that 'me being an alcoholic'? ... I was the last one to know!!! ... ... go figure!
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Wow, that sudden? It's unfortunate, but not uncommon. Closing the doors without any prior notice is about the norm nowadays with some businesses. So I'm not surprised, at all. One of my previous employers closed its doors in the same manner as that restaurant. We all went to work one day only to find it empty. Nothing left but bare fixtures and gaudy signs. I guess it just goes to show how un-business like some companies really are.
I'm glad you're sober too Colleen, even though our past can trigger some old habits. You're right dear, moving on is such a blessing, and maybe some of those former employees can ask you for some friendly advice one day. I just hope they find better jobs soon.
Well, it's good to know you're doing okay Colleen. So keep your head up and that 'sober' momentum moving forward. Onward.
-- Edited by Mr_David on Wednesday 11th of July 2012 02:00:49 AM
I had the chance to help out a buddy of mine last night. This involves a coworker at my night job who is simply one of the coolest and sincerely nice people you'd want to meet. As an example, there's another coworker of ours who is kinda nuts and completely obsessed with me (lucky me haha). When this first began I would vent often about the harrassers behavior. The girls had my back, but most of the guys dismissed me as being some crazy bitch who was overreacting (this guy called me once to tell me how much he loves when I work , because he gets to stand back and stare at my ass and legs while I'm working in total seriousness ok??just a small example). Ive struggled with whether or not i should quit this job, as the owners love this guy and told me "hes not going anywhere". I simply hate being around him..hes very creepy. Anyway.., the guy I'm referring to was the only guy who understood where I was coming from, and had my back. So last night we are out smoking, and I say "ahh you're back to the cigarettes huh? They're a bitch" (he had quit while in a court imposed rehab months back). He says "yes and the drinkings getting worse, too". Now, I haven't discussed my aa involvement, or even the fact Ive stopped drinking with anyone at this job, so I thought it strange he should just blurt out his own struggles. I then tell him I haven't drank in 2 months and I totally understand what he feels like. As he opens up and talks about how much he's struggling I completely identify, even his choice of phrasing and words are hitting me hard. He just looked like a man who's been defeated, and I was there for a long time. I encouraged him to contact a professional in the field of addiction whom we both know and who had steered me in the right direction. He truly looked hopeful for a moment as he asked "so he helped you huh? Maybe I will call him". Best moment I've had in the past 57 days for sure. I was reminded of the story Angell shared above:)
When something like that happens Colleen, feels good don't it ??? ... ... ... I've had a few of those 'aaaaah moments' where offering a solution to a suffering person makes me feel all mushy inside ... and I always say 'thank you Lord' and please guide this person in the way You would have him go ... I used to feel awkward in a situation like you described above, but not anymore, it just seems so natural now, you know, to want to offer help ...
God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Best moment I've had in the past 57 days for sure.
It's funny how this works...Where you can find the most joy in helping someone else....The miracle of this program that started with a couple drunks in Ohio in the 1930's. It still amazes me.
