People who have had a slip are ashamed of themselves - sometimes so ashamed that they fear to go back to A.A. They develop the old inferiority complex and tell themselves that they are no good that they have let down their friends in A.A., that they are hopeless, and that they can never make it. This state of mind is perhaps worse than it was originally. They have probably been somewhat weakened by their slip. But their A.A. training cannot ever be entirely lost. They always know they can go back if they want to. They know there is still God's help for them if they will again ask for it. Do I believe that I can never entirely lose what I have learned in A.A.?
Meditation for the Day
Nobody entirely escapes temptation. You must expect it and be ready for it when it comes. None of us is entirely safe. You must try to keep your defenses up by daily thought and prayer. That is why we have these daily meditations. You must be able to recognize temptation when it comes. The first step toward conquering temptation always is to see it clearly as temptation and not to harbor it in your mind. Dissociate yourself from it, put it out of your mind as soon as it appears. Do not think of excuses for yielding to it. Turn at once to the Higher Power for help.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may be prepared for whatever temptation may come to me. I pray that I may see it clearly and avoid it with the help of God.
Many of us were victimized, sometimes more than once. We may have been physically abused, sexually abused, or exploited by the addictions of another.
Understand that if another person has abused us, it is not cause for us to feel shame. The guilt for the act of abuse belongs to the perpetrator, not the victim.
Even if in recovery we fall prey to being victimized, that is not cause for shame.
The goal of recovery is learning self-care, learning to free ourselves from victimization, and not to blame ourselves for past experiences. The goal is to arm ourselves so we do not continue to be victimized due to the shame and unresolved feelings from the original victimization.
We each have our own work, our issues, and our recovery tasks. One of those tasks is to stop pointing our finger at the perpetrator, because it distracts us. Although we hold each person responsible and accountable for his or her behavior, we learn compassion for the perpetrator. We understand that many forces have come into play in that person's life. At the same time, we do not hold on to shame.
We learn to understand the role we played in our victimization, how we fell into that role and did not rescue ourselves. But that is information to arm us so that it need not happen again.
Let go of victim shame. We have issues and tasks, but our issue is not to feel guilty and wrong because we have been victimized.
Today, I will set myself free from any victim shame I may be harboring or hanging on to.
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Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..
Thanks once again Phil for the great shares. They are all great. I have always heard from people who go back out that they couldn't enjoy the drinking as much because all the AA stuff kept popping into their heads at the most inappropiate moments.And I'm glad we can walk back into the rooms at anytime.
On the note of being a victim, I had worked through something that had happened in my childhood, I had forgiven the person, had dealed with the baggage.Then I started having uneasy feelings again, so I prayed for God to show me what was going on. Sometime later, I had a dream, this person was in the dream and I could actually smell the alcoholic coming from their body, something I had not remembered before. This person was drunk when these events had taken place, not that it is an excuse for what happened to me, but it did give me a new compassion for the person. I have done many things I regreted when I was drinking.
I did many things when I drank and used that early event in my life as an excuse for my actions, I have learned that I can not blame anyone, place or thing for my actions . I'm totally accountable for my actions today, Yuck, no more excuses! I am no longer a victim, I am a recovering alcoholic, living life on lifes terms. I am free of the past and I set the person who harmed me free!
G'day, Phil. Bloody cold out here in the sagebrush prairie with a blizzard coming in. Keep that nasty stuff north of the border, will ya?
I love that expression. To slip = go "back out." Carries an ominous connotation, doesn't it? I refuse to acknowledge vulnerability while in this program, but I do acknowledge temptation, and I readily appreciate the ES&H of those who have indeed gone back "out there." It's as you have posted--visions of AA dance about the minds of those who have slipped, thereby marring the drinking experience (well, simply drinking in and of itself is jarring and marring, but I digress).
Rose, big hug. Well said: We are responsible for our actions. . .not someone else who may have hurt us in the present or past. Great posts, great thread, and great thermal underwear! I'm off to check the antifreeze. . .
Just a quick reply...and saying good morning to you 2...plus the rest of the crew here.
To all of you enjoying nice, warm weather? Bah Humbug.:)..and envy, plus resentment.
Antifreeze Mike? Used to use alcohol for that one didnt we? lol One pint for the car--2 quarts for us?
Its about 0 degrees F in this country...3 feet on the ground...another foot on the way...2 cars in garages, with blown engines---Grateful we dont drink hu? tests tests tests..Shit happens..yu gotta smile....
120 days till Spring....Truck On!!! And have a NICE DAY!! :)
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Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..
Mikel, I put anti-freeze in the car and truck a month ago, you're slacking buddy.The wind is not blowing here yet, it's 25 degrees, suppose to snow tomorrow...Brrrrrrr.
True enough, Phil, it was the sauce that warmed us up in days gone by. I mirror your "humbug" for this frigid weather, and here's hoping to a quick arrival of next spring! My golf clubs are already calling me from the garage.
Rose, I know, I know, I should've winterized my truck eons ago, but it seems like just yesterday I was wearing my shorts and tanktop. Come to think of it, it was yesterday; I haven't done my laundry in weeks, and they were the only clean clothes I had left.
is that the '24 hour a day' book? that was my favorite for my first 2 years,, I learned so much from it about how to cope and set priorities. I should look around and try to dig it out from under the pile. thank you for the excerpt from it.
25 F in texas? brrrr. we were supposed to get a noreaster but it didn't quite materialize for us,, which is good.
I just had my appendix out,,, and my hospital stay was quite an experience. They ruined my belly button... if I was in my 20's I'd be quite upset.. I suppose I could get a very large jewel for it.
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Hi Amanda......www.Hazelden.org...There are 5 choices...five thoughts for the day...from different books used..and they are posted up...each morning...good site. Have a good day...
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Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..
Failure: Experienced it once so far, just another chance to kick myself up the **** and get back with it. NO need for shame, most people have done it before. A lesson is learned!
Learning from that failure is what matters!
Bye for now.
Chris
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"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989"
I mirror your "humbug" for this frigid weather, and here's hoping to a quick arrival of next spring! My golf clubs are already calling me from the garage.