Congrats on 50 days sober ... no small feat ... ... your post shows your are progressing just fine ... keep up the good work ... as far as wanting to share in the meetings, I think this is great at this point if you are inquiring on how to handle certain situations that come up in your daily life, where alcohol interfered ... as far as sharing E.S. & H. ? ... to the new-comers?, yes ... But there's a fine line where we 'know' what we're talking about, and 'wishful' thinking ... (at this early stage in our sobriety) ...
I was different, I wanted to share often, so as to let others know I was 'getting it' ... The old timers saw right through that ... and then came the familiar admonishment: "Take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth." ... (cause at that stage in my recovery, I didn't have a clue) (oh, for you new guys, that cotton thingy is about 'shut-up' and just 'listen', for now) ... so when my sponsor got a hold of me, he said to bring certain concerns of mine up as a topics of discussion on occasion, but back off on the 'advice' giving for now ... LOL ... (my real problem was I wanted what they had and I wanted it now, so I acted like I had it ...) ... Patience was not an easy thing for me to learn ...
Love Ya, Pappy
P.S. I was also told that when we start our active drinking/drugging, we cease to grow emotionally ... and when we get sober, we start our emotional growth where we left off ... so, I have the emotional maturity of a 25 year old at the age of 59 ... LOL ... (but my wife says I act like a 10 year old ... ??? ... go figure!)
-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Thursday 5th of July 2012 01:37:31 PM
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Hey guys:) I'm 50 days sober today.. Which makes me a novice at all this stuff. By 'stuff' I mean aa..and I'm also realizing life in general. The circumstances of my growing up were extremely tumultuous (very abusive home to over 20 foster homes to running away). I pretty much raised myself and sought out and established my own ethics and ideals in circumstances that gave me no adult guidance. I loved punk rock..not just as a genre of music but as a way of life. The 'punk' ethics of being anti establishment and questioning everything about 'normal' people and life fueled by anger was how I lived my life. Well, that's cool when you're 14, not so much when you're 36 and about to be homeless and jobless. I just couldn't be too bothered with mundane things like being a responsible adult haha. Ive realized a few things in the short time I've been sober. One is that in many ways I'm still a 13 year old in my mentality. Secondly, almost all of the people I looked up to and tried to emulate throughout my life are dead, mostly due to self destruction. Third, and most important, God has definetly had my back. Someone's been looking out for me, and it certainly wasn't myself. There has to be a reason I'm still around, intact, and have found sobriety. I cursed God for many years and he still didn't turn his back on me. Not only that, but I was guided towards aa, which I believe has saved my life. That's all. Part of my sobriety is to become more involved vocally with my recovery (meaning speaking about things, which terrifies me!)..I have this thing in my head that I don't have anything intelligent to contribute, so I usually am silent at meetings. I'm trying to break out of that. This forum helps me with that..thanks for listening:)
Hey Col! Great message of hope! Congrats on 50 days of 'LIFE' I also lived the life of a Rock and Roll party animal drumming in my first band in 1962.Boogie till you puke was part of the mentality for me.3 marriages ,2 divorces,death of my best friend from childhood and many others,arrest and conviction federal felony postal theft,parenting 4 children and a trail of 25 years of devastation took me to a final surrender many years ago.I too am here for a reason and not just the season,the God of my understanding has always been with me even as much as I resisted.WE seek to become of maximum service to our God and others and we apply spiritual principles in the attitudes and behaviors of our lives that we instill by following some simple suggestions of our program. WE Remember that though we are responsible for our own recoveries we all have a simple honest message of recovery from addiction and is very valuable to share.It is important to step out of our comfort zone and carry our message to the best of our ability.WE carry our message also in silence by our behavior.Glad your here and helping keep each one of us in sobriety for just another day!! Peace ......
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Welcome Col! Yes, we are the chosen few for reasons I don't comprehend. Many don't make it here or to the Halls. But I'm grateful to be choosen and try to carry the message well. Stick around and let the miracle begin. I was told we sober up, clear up and then grow up. That's been my experience also. It's a journey, not a race or sprint. Please keep coming back and help us stay sober.
What you have to say is worth hearing - thanks for sharing col - I feel like your sobriety sister with only a few days more than you : )
I always thought I would "out grow" drinking. Probably around 30 I figured. When that came and went - I truly knew I had a big problem. Now 33, I'm realizing, this isn't a matter of out growing - it's a disease that gets worse and worse.
Now we can finally mature!
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Your in the right place Col. Your not alone in your feelings of inferiority. Your story sounds like mine. Different music but the same obnoxious rebellion. The worse I felt inside the louder I got until the time where I lived in my head so long I couldn't string two coherent sentences together to save my life. I heard a guy at a meeting early on say he was an ego maniac with an inferiority complex. Kinda like John Wayne on the outside and Barney Fife on the inside. I got that deep inside and actually felt some hope. If you stick with this A &A thing ( all aspects of it ) it will get better. The love and humility that comes from working and living the program gives us a confidence and strength beyond anything booze ever gave me, as long as we keep doing the deal. It just wont happin by friday. If we stop, it all comes back and I can be a basket case in no time at all. Keep talking bout it and taking the suggestions of those who have recovered. And you will make it and then be in a position to help someone else who is a social misfit committing suicide on the installment plan.
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Since it cost a lot to win, and even more to loose, you and me gotta spend some time just wondering what to choose.
We are all novices at this. If I get drunk then I am back to square one. My sponsor warned: "Be careful of what you say about the new man, he might end up being your sponsor." Your 50 days emotionally might be stronger than mine. Thanks for the post. Gonee.
