Does the label "alcoholic" bother me that much? Not really. Yeah, there are times when I feel awkward, especially when I see others drinking responsibly even though I can't. But again, it doesn't really bother me that much. Let's face it though, no one wants to be labeled an alcoholic, ever. But in recovery we see how that can benefit us. I can't heal my alcoholism, but I can recover with the help of A.A. and forums like this one. We have a program of recovery while others do not, so being an alcoholic 'in recovery' does have some benefits. So if anyone feels 'less than' because there an alcoholic, I suggest you try this analogy on for size before you pass judgment on yourself or others: What's better, an alcoholic in recovery or one still clinging to the bottle? Hmmm...I'll choose recovery every time, regardless. And I hope others will as well.
-- Edited by Mr_David on Tuesday 12th of June 2012 02:51:19 AM
I've been sober for some time now and still cannot wrap my head around this. My older brother falls into that category, wh couldn't I? I know there is no ONE drink for me and am slowly learning more and more reading the big book often.
Does it ever just bother the hell out of anyone else of the label we're achieved?
Just a random rant from my meeting tonight going through page 17.
Well I've been sober for a pretty short amount of time (26 days)..and I was actually thinking about the same thing on my walk home from work just now. Just mulling over my drinking history and searching for the "turning point" (dunno if that's what you meant). I mean, was I an"alcoholic" when I was 13 drinking with my friends then continuing the party alone with a bottle of jack and the stooges on my headphones? In retrospect I'm thinking hell yeah! Haha that's certainly not normal drinking. I have plenty of friends that fall into hardcore drinker category.. But it doesn't totally f up their lives or sanity. Yknow? I dunno. It may not all make sense in a way I can articulate at this early point of my own recovery, but when I read the literature and go to meetings it all makes sense in my soul I guess. I may not love the fact that I am indeed am alcoholic lol, but it is 100% truth. Is that what you meant?
Cunning, baffling, powerful. That says it all really.
But in answer to your question: nope, not me. If there was no such thing as alcoholic I would have invented it. I would have drunk myself to being one anyway. I just can't do moderation in anything. Woman, drugs, drinking, gambling, work, sport, hobbies, life... If I like it I'm going to do it well past the fun point and then some. So why me? Don't know and don't care. It just is, and I have to be aware of it and live accordingly or it'll squash me like a bug.
i really resented being being called an alcoholic, having a label stuck on me like, and it sounds so ugly. but that is where perspective comes in. active daily drinking over resentments and losses was bad enough , but after removing the alcohol the resentments and losses did overwhelm me and made me really angry. the 90 and 90 helped my perspective a lot (as well as the Big Book, the steps, and my sponsor.) at all those meetings i met "alcoholics" who did not mind being called an alcoholic and they were really cool people. i looked at my disease of alcoholism from the 'killing me side of it, then, walked around it to look at my disease from the 'living a new life' side of it, like that book "new pair of glasses?" and found out being an alcoholic brought me to a program of loving others and being the best me i could be, even wanting to explore my potential. if i had not been a pitiful stinky alcoholic i never would have met the great friends i now have, who have made my life so much more enjoyable. there is a positive side to all ideas as well as the negative side that i insisted on seeing and living. if i had not found AA i would be a dead alcoholic. with AA i am a recovering and grateful alcoholic, excited to be alive and not ashamed to tell my story. practicing recovery makes being an alcoholic more than bearable, i am joyous and free. jj/sheila
This bother me when I first came in to AA. The feeling of being different again set in. Not a good spot to be in for one who grew up feeling different. The reality was I was different.
By going to meetings, going through The 12 Steps with a Sponsor, finding a HP and living in Steps 10-12 I had a profound change. The Promises started to materialize. The person who came into AA had changed. So had my perspective toward this subject. I was no longer separate, different and alone. I was amongst a loving fellowship of people just like me. Some where along the lines humility set in. I accepted who and what I was. I no longer looked or wished to be different. What I had was just fine. What I had(materially) did not change, but the insides had changed. The thinking, feeling and behaving. Something I was always looking for. Today, I wear it pretty losely. I want to be available to help the next suffering Alcoholic who crosses my path. If I hold it to tight, I may miss that opportunity.
Im not stpetedean and Im not sure if this is the chosen thread but I think its the one.
Why We Were Chosen
God in HIS wisdom has selected this group of men and women to be the purveyors of His Goodness. In selecting them through whom to bring about this phenomenon, He went not to the proud, the mighty, the famous or the brilliant. He went to the humble, to the sick, to the unfortunate - He went to the drunkard, the so-called weakling of the world.
Well might he have said to us - into your weak and feable hands I have entrusted a power beyond estimate. To you has been given that which had been denied the most learned of your fellows. Not to scientists or statesmen, not to wives or mothers, not even to my priests or ministers have I given this gift of healing other alcoholics which I entrust to you.
It must be used unselfishly. It carries with it grave responsibility. No day can be too long, no demands upon your time can be too urgent, no case too pitiable, no task too hard, no effort too great. It must be used with tolerance for I have restricted its application to no race, no creed and no denomination. Personal criticism you must expect, lack of appreciation will be common, ridicule will be your lot - your motives will be misjudged. Success will not always attend your efforts in your work with other alcoholics. You must be prepared for adversity, for what men call adversity is the ladder you must use to ascend the rungs toward spiritual perfection. And remember, in the exercise of this power I shall not exact of you beyond your capabilities.
You are not selected because of exceptional talents, and be careful always if success attends your efforts, not to ascribe to personal superiority, that to which you can lay claim only by virtue of MY gift.
If I had wanted learned men to accomplish this mission, the power would have been entrusted to the physician and the scientist. If I had wanted eloquent men, there would have been many anxious for the assignment, for talk is the easiest used of all talents with which I have endowed mankind. If I had wanted scholarly men, the world is filled with better qualified men than you who would have been available.
You were selected because you have been the outcasts of the world, and your long experience as drunkards has made, or should make you humbly alert to the cries of distress that come from the lonely hearts of alcoholics everywhere. Keep ever in mind the admission you have made on the day of your entrance into AA, namely, that you are powerless and that it was only with your willingness to turn your life and will into My keeping, that relief came to you...
I was at the gas station that I used to buy alcohol from this afternoon. Just to go to the bathroom, but the powder room was right next to the beer coolers. I glanced over at them for a bit, just for a second. I didn't let my mind go there... I told myself, I could think about it tomorrow... but not TODAY! And I hope I'm handed another day tomorrow, but for now, I'm going to try and be grateful for this sober day. Thanks for your post and honesty Nick.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
I was at the gas station that I used to buy alcohol from this afternoon. Just to go to the bathroom, but the powder room was right next to the beer coolers. I glanced over at them for a bit, just for a second. I didn't let my mind go there... I told myself, I could think about it tomorrow... but not TODAY! And I hope I'm handed another day tomorrow, but for now, I'm going to try and be grateful for this sober day. Thanks for your post and honesty Nick.
I literally just had that happen to me a few days ago. I walked in, went to the bathroom and saw the big ice chest of tall boys (crap I wouldn't drink even when drinking) and I had every urge to grab a few a chug them before heading out. I stopped and thought for a minute about the consequences of giving in.
Basically to sum it up "relapse happens before that first drink" and that absolutely terrifies me. I don't want to start again, but I'm noticing trends that have led to relapses.
Be careful what you wish for guys. In my drinking days there was a good bunch of hard drinkers whomdrank large amounts most nights of the week, then went home to their families. They didn't have the problems I had, their lives were just fine as far as they were concerned. They could keep drinking when I had the choice of accept spritual help or die. Turns out they weren't so lucky. 32 years later nearly all of them have died (in their 40s and 50s) from health problems caused by excessive alcohol consumption, heart disease and so forth. Meanwhile, I am in ruuuude good health!
Not sure when it crossed the line for me but there was a clear progression. It went from "Drinking is fun" to "Drinking is fun but it gives me problems" to "Drinking only gives me problems." Our perception of the way other people drink is not normal either. So when you get to thinking "Why can't I drink like my brother?"you can't be sure he doesn't have a problem or is not in another stage of the disease. The best thing is to know that you can be in recovery if anyone else in your circle needs help - You can be the one they turn to.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Not sure when it crossed the line for me but there was a clear progression. It went from "Drinking is fun" to "Drinking is fun but it gives me problems" to "Drinking only gives me problems." Our perception of the way other people drink is not normal either. So when you get to thinking "Why can't I drink like my brother?"you can't be sure he doesn't have a problem or is not in another stage of the disease. The best thing is to know that you can be in recovery if anyone else in your circle needs help - You can be the one they turn to.
Thanks for this reminder. in my first year of sobriety i wondered "why?" and "why me?" but asking those questions was part of my growth. and acceptance was the key that allowed me to look at my disease and then choose to be a member of AA.
Not a good spot to be in for one who grew up feeling different. The reality was I was different. 