I frequently joke about my home group because we know each other so well, no matter what the topic or what anyone says about it, we've heard it before. Sometimes a bunch of times before. But as one guy put it, we've got a full time forgetter in our brains, and we need to hear the same stuff over and over. Heck there was a guy from out of town tonight who quoted his sponsor, and it was something my sponsor always said.
It's all good stuff... but I sometimes enjoy going to different meetings with different people, in different towns - just to hear something different. Or be able to say the same old same old to someone who hasn't heard it 48 times.
But then again, I think there's a lot of unexplored territory. We all have lots and lots of experience... stories... anecdotes.
So my challenge is... post something you've never said before... a new thought, or a new take on an old thought. As long as it's relevant to alcoholism and recovery. I'm not asking for 5th steps or anything - just something out of the routine zone.
I'd go first but it's going to take me a while to come up with something new
Hey barisax, ... I don't know if this really meets your criteria, but I have shared this little bit below at the occasional meeting where the 'pink cloud' period becomes the topic of discussion ... I've never heard anyone else repeat it ... (and I think I've posted this here in the past as well ...)
Be careful of the 'pink cloud' syndrome: (with reference to the AA program)
This is the very one thing that got you here ... But its the very one thing that,..should it not change,..will be the very one thing thats going to keep you from getting all the things that God has for his children..
As long as you know that you know,.you'll never know. But when you begin to do what we tell you 'not to do' and 'to do'and begin to know that you don't know,.then you'll begin to know..
Then I told my sponsor, Hell you're crazy ... ... ... He said: I know!
(think I may have heard this in a speaker tape somewhere too)
God Bless, Pappy
-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Friday 1st of June 2012 10:41:43 AM
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
One guy said he got a speeding ticket on the way to the meeting, and we talked about slowing down, respecting authority, and some people just talked about getting speeding tickets or other minor traffic violations now, while sober... one of the old timers said "wow, I've never heard this topic before".
__________________
Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
I have shared this with others but never at a meeting .An early revelation into how "ill " I really was.
My first Mediterranean cruise with the 6th Fleet in 1965 and we anchored out off the Isle of Malta . Myself and 2 of my crew mates bought like 15 cartons of cigarettes($1.00 per carton) and during the night watch called the boats from the shore to come to the stern of the ship and we traded all the cigarettes for hard candy that had liquor inside them. We had bags of these hard candies as American cigarettes were in high demand.We then proceeded to the wingwall locker and broke open the candies, mixed the liquor with sea ration canned water and proceeded to get twisted.They told me I missed my morning watch but one of the guys covered for me.I was really shot thru the rest of the day and as I took a "very short moment" to reflect" It dawned on me that I may got some alcoholic issues(ya think)I had been drinking and using since an early age (around 10) but never thought much of the obliteration it was causing(denial)Although the awareness of my illness would pop up now and again it wasn't for almost 20 years later(dec 2nd 1984)did I finally surrender.There was the usual blue Valiums that we could get from Corpsman to ease the twitches and maybe catch a buzz.The only reprieve I got was there were periods where I wasnt able to "cop" and therefore remained abstinent(out to sea for weeks at a time).Dont ever remember going ashore and coming back lucid.You see I am alcoholic,I can't take that "first one" Its not about about how much or what I take but it is my reaction to the substance that makes me 'sick" If your new here ,just coming around or just coming back WELCOME.For those continuing to work their own process,,WELCOME.....WE have a program that teaches us that once we put the alcohol down,(substance)the beginning of the healing,WE still have to work on our whole bag of tricks,the not only physical but the mental and spiritual part of our illness.My true healing began when I made meetings to listen and learn stopped fighting,,got a sponsor and got into our solution"the steps,worked with a sponsor and to the best of my ability remained guided by a Power greater than myself and applied these principles into the attitudes and behaviors of my life,daily,.I am truly grateful that I made it to the admission, the emotional acceptance of utter defeat and surrender and then the willingness to do whatever it took to keep away from that FIRST ONE! WE are all newcomers to each day and each day ,with diligence,work and seeking the road to be of maximum service to the God (we understand) and others, we can find that 'peace that surpasses all understanding" Thanks Bari for allowing me to go back ,take a look and then get back to the future(today)to continue working.......Have a blessed and productive day!
__________________
Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
I don't know if my "enablers" have anything to do with the kind of alcoholic I am. I have a disease that simply requires alcohol to activate it to full bloom. (Otherwise it lurks in wait for me.) I think no matter who I am with or around, or was, unless a Higher Power is guiding my path, I will choose the drink, and the inevitable self-destruction that follows. I don't consider the people in my life to be enablers. I think of them as unsuspecting victims of my selfishness gone wild. Now that I know better, I do better, and the people I care for benefit from that. I don't depend on others in my recovery. People are flawed, myself most definitely included there. I depend on God. Other people can't break me nor can they fix me. I don't expect the normies in my life to "get it". That's why staying close to the fellowship is so precious to me. They get it like only another alcoholic can. :) People can support me but I know this gig is between The Big Guy and my willingness to stay spiritually fit.
-- Edited by vixen on Saturday 2nd of June 2012 10:19:50 PM
__________________
I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
I have never heard of a topic regarding our enablers. I mean, really, we are each the "kind of alcoholic" we are because of our enablers (in my opinion). And how we recover depends on that too... and then I suppose that word could turn from enabler or supporter. And I know statistically, we do better when we have support from family, friends, fellowship etc. I've tried not to think too deeply on this, because I have enough to think about. But If any of you have thought it through, I'd love to hear where you ended up. And maybe it's not a new thing at all, but I've never heard, read or talked about it.
__________________
Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Thanks Ruhig, ... Very well put ... I like that .... 'enabler = anyone co-signing my B.S.' ... WOW ... I need to write that down ... that's really kinda' eye-opening ...
Love it, Pappy
-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Saturday 2nd of June 2012 11:38:03 PM
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I never had an enabler---ever. Got shut out, shut down, kicked to the curb, abandoned, shunned, kicked, beat, spit on, refused any kind of help for even survival-level needs, threatened, run off, told I didn't belong (in a university program--where I proceeded to earn 2 degrees--we may be "under the influence" but we ain't dumb!)............shall I go on? Anyway, the topic of those who may enable us is interesting. I spent a bit of time trying to come up with someone in my life who had enabled me, but there was just no one. Just the opposite. Maybe in my case I became the "kind of alcoholic" I was because nobody tried to stand in my way LOL
WOW Vixen, ... What a great post ... thank you ...
I have been trying to think of how and what to respond with to Tasha's post ... I guess in my mind, I was having trouble with just exactly who my enabler/s were ... and Vixen's post seemed to help clear some things up for me ... I don't think I had enablers as such ... I mean I had my drinking so well planned out in advance that it didn't make any difference whether anyone was going to try and stop me or not ... Oh yeah, my wife found a few hidden bottles at times ... and made a big deal out of making sure I saw her pouring them down the drain ... But I nearly always had a backup ... (my biggest fear back then became whether I could remember where I hid my bottles ...) ...
So, I can't say that she enabled me to drink ... sure, she detested it ... then when I got real, real bad, she threatened divorce ... this went on for a few years if you want to call that enabling ... and I could always come up with the money somehow to buy my liquor or beer ... I'd keep a good job for a while and stash a fair amount of money, knowing it would come to an end when I least expected , so I 'd have enough to drink on for a while til I could cycle through it all over again ... Then came the day that she threatened divorce again and something was different this time, I knew she meant it ...
One day she came home late and said she'd retained a lawyer and was having papers drawn up for divorce ... I was drunk but got the message ... She was going to make it easy, she said I could keep the house if I could pay for it and all my stuff ... She said she'd finally had all she could stand ... told me she still loved me so much, that it was killing her to see me kill myself so slowly ... I began to panic and then decided to drink up everything I had in the house ... about a four day blackout ...
I don't know how, but I literally crawled upstairs late one night and crawled into the bedroom she was in and begged her to take me to a rehab center ... I didn't care where ... I just wanted to get well ... She took me ... I got home a month and a half later and lost myself in the program of AA ...
So ... ... ... I guess I'm still not sure just what the role of the 'enabler' is ... Is it someone that supplies you with your drugs and/or alcohol? ... or the money with which to buy the stuff? ... or is it someone who simply tolerates your selfish indulgement in drugs and/or alcohol, and the fact that you are killing yourself ..???
Sorry, I think I lost control of my fingers ... they seem to have a mind of their own ... Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Python: I guess I'm still not sure just what the role of the 'enabler' is ... Is it someone that supplies you with your drugs and/or alcohol? ... or the money with which to buy the stuff? ... or is it someone who simply tolerates your selfish indulgement in drugs and/or alcohol, and the fact that you are killing yourself" ... ,,, ... It's anyone who co-signs our crap. If she paid for things that you "couldn't" pay for because you were busy buying your liquor.
My mom never gave me a curfew, and only locked me out once, because she never wanted my friends to come over intoxicated (I never used in the house with people) never took my truck away after my 2 car accidents intoxicated (only ever empty parked cars thank god). But the one time I told her I admitted myself to rehab, she took off work and helped me pack, told me she was proud of me for my decision and hugged me. I spent two months in rehab. My mom was both my worst enabler but my number one supporter. Tasha, great topic.
__________________
sober: showing no excessive or extreme qualities of fancy, emotion, or prejudice
First and for all of us, yes it's our selfishness that does us in. But there are most certainly people who have people in their lives that seem to tolerate and even cover things up for you when you can't seem to manage a plausible excuse for yourself. In my case too, those people, dumb founded, just hoping for the best, not wanting to believe we are alcoholics even more so than we don't want to ourselves, turn us into the statistics we become. I don't care to think of myself as a statistic, any better, or worse than anyone. (Anymore that is) I just know, that I go to some meetings on purpose, where people are homeless, really down and out basically... so I can see where I actually should be. It's not at all healthy for me to wonder if my drinking would have threw me into the gutter where I belonged, much much sooner in life, had it not been for a few fat pocket books in my life, ready to "cover the costs" of my destruction. Anyway - no sense in going down this road I suppose. It's a hopeless wonder, that is basically a waste of perfectly awesome sober moment!
Gee. And I ever wondered if I am an alcoholic. I blame my enablers, for not shutting me down sooner, so I could get better sooner. Is there anything I can't turn into a resentment? Is there anything I can't blame on someone else? Is there anything in my brain that functions properly???? LOL
Sorry guys... my name should be NUTasha - not Natasha!
__________________
Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
A guy at my Friday night meeting said something to me just 2 days ago that I never heard before. Well, it got me thinking about things in a different way, I should say. We were talking about casually about the dumb things we did when drinking. I mentioned how I used to use the Interstate loop around the city as a race track - easily going 80-85 after closing down the watering hole 35 miles from my house (I worked that far away). Easily I should have killed 100's if not 1000's, including myself. An old timer looked at me and said "Think of all the lives you're saving by being here!" Come to think of it, that would be a nice slogan for AA ... "AA: saving thousands of lives, one day at a time" (if we didn't have the Traditions, that is).
Thanks, Pappy. Of course, "averting death and misery" IS in the book - as a substitute, but ... those darn Traditions always get in the way of my high ambitions, lol!
