A blonde cop stops a blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.
The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer."
The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.
She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now."
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Sally goes to work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned his employee, walks over to her and asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?" The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call that my mother had passed away."
The boss, feeling very sorry at this point suggests to the young girl, "Why don't you go home for the day...we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off and go relax."
Sally very calmly states, "No I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind busy and I have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and allows her to work as usual. "If you need anything just let me know" says the boss.
A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on Sally. He looks out his office and sees her crying hysterically.
He rushes over an asks, "What's the matter now? Are you going to be ok?"
Sally breaks down in tears. "I just received a horrible call from my sister. She said that her mom died too!!"
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out.
After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together."
The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly "Together, together, together."
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game.
She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand."
"What did you not understand ?"
And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
A redhead, a brunette and a blond rob a bank. The police chase them into a run down building and inside they each climb into old potato sacks. The chief of police steps into the building; he looks around and spots the three lumpy potato sacs. The policeman approaches the sack with the redhead in it. He lightly kicks it with the toe of his boot. WOOF! WOOF! The redhead barks inside the bag, trying to fool the policeman. It seems there is only a dog in here. He mutters and moves to the next potato sack, with the brunette in it. MEOW! MEOW! She purrs. The policeman shrugs, thinking there is a cat in the bag. He moseys over to the last bag and kicks it softly. The blond, panicking follows the other two leads and screams: POTATO! POTATO!
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Pappy,I think.....lol.......You always make me laugh no matter how down I am or how bad I feel.....Thank you for being you.....Im not feeling well today,my sugar has dropped and I have fluid behind my ear,I feel guilty cause I didnt go to a meeting an Ive been making atleast 2 a day,Thank you for helping me feel better......
Do NOT feel guilty. You are doing meetings online when you can't get out. Keep positive and we'll get to one tomorrow. I hope you're feeling better. Love you Marti XOX
