Alcoholics Anonymous is not only about stopping drinking, but also about rebuilding and nurturing healthy relationships. The first of which is with our partners. Alcoholism creates abnormal partnerships. The 12 steps of recovery is designed to rectify these relationships. The first of which is an admission of absolute powerlessness over alcohol. The subsequent steps is to allow God to help us repair these partnerships. Tonight our AA meeting dealt with much of this, helping alcoholic husbands rebuild their life with their wives.
It's a family illness that's for sure it sits about families and takes victim after victim. Generation after generation. Today I am very proud of the fact the all my family members are aware. They look at my sobriety with total admiration and awareness too.
I have two sisters who I am sure would like my sobriety. God willing one day they too may walk through the doors of AA. I have a brother who lives as a tramp within his own home, I pray he receives a '' Miracle '' to this day he is tormented and insane. Their words are '' I am not an Alcoholic ! Another sister took her own life because of another addiction. My Mother died sober thank God but only because someone had her finances under control, She could have had the joys of AA as I have today. I am grateful we were both able to make our amends for all our wrongs, Yes she carried such shame, yet unaware of the gift of sobriety until she looked at me in her later years.
I often share that AA has given my children peace of mind because today they understand. They are also self aware and very proud of both my husband and I. They were the ones who worried and felt helpless and lost in their need to let go and let God and an acceptance of their powerless abilities in our lives. We have grandchildren who will grow up and know,that for us we are today doing the right things.
Yes the Power of Alcoholic Anonymous has given my family= Peace of mind,love and joy. And a greater understanding of the illness.
They understand it will work if we work for it :} As long as WE KEEP COMING BACK :}
Thanks all for being here, posting and reading my share.:}
Thank you Gonee and Polly. Nice post. It is true that some relationships aren't meant to be. That's what happened to me. The Program changed the person who entered the halls and my wife didn't like and wasn't attracted to the new ME. During early recovery, she pursued another ill individual she could help and that ended up in a relationship for her. From my experience, both have to grow in a Spiritual way or there will be problems and unhappiness. Just my experience.
After several years, she now dabbles in Alanon Literature but refuses to go to meetings or work on herself. Some are just incapable of being honest with themselves. It's to bad, her loss. I hope she finds the halls someday.
But, what I can do is take care of me. Be a sober spiritual Dad, Son, Brother and Friend to those around me. Living within The Program and Gods will. Everyone benefits by me being sober and working The Program. I'm grateful today for the opportunity to serve God and others.
That is the first sentence my eye was drawn to in your post. So true! My list of abnormal partnerships is long and colorful. Just beginning to understand my role in the abnormalities. Thanks for the message.
Our family just experienced this very thing over this past week. My husband was home for his week off. There were times where things were said or done. The difference was I kept recalling the words from the big book. How they're as sick as we are and we don't want to argue with them (he actually commented how I wouldn't go there with him). Looking at my part in what was unfolding. It was all very eye-opening. All in all it was actually quite enjoyable and productive.
What a very useful meeting that must have been. In my own case all relationships were gone by the time I got sober, except for my parents, and repairs were much needed there. But my life today includes my own family and it is so important for me to practice what I have learned in AA, at home, and in all my affairs.
Yes, the family afterward doesnt seem to get the discussion it deserves in our area. Like Mike above, most of my relationships where gone except for my immediate family members, so at this point most of my relationships have been born in sobriety....that is truly a gift in itself.
All we can do is make the amends/living amends, work on the reconstruction of the relationship and keep working on ourselves and trying to do God's will.
I have worked with a lot of men in recovery, most of the time the marriages work out and get better, sometimes they don't as we won't be the same people they married. Unfortunately every relationship becoming mended is not one of the promises. only that we we be able to accept and handle it.
Rob
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
