...coming home from a meeting and feeling connected to something greater than myself.
...feeling a sense of calm rather than complete panic.
...meeting two people who know me and I know them before we even know each others' stories. I had never met either woman before, but instantly felt I knew them.
...hearing the story of a speaker who is someone I would walk past on the street and never notice, but is someone who has become such an important part of my early days of sober thinking.
...going for coffee (tea, in my case) and continuing the connection.
Yep, AA is definitely where I belonged today and hopefully where I will also belong tomorrow.
(Um... is this that Pink Cloud I've heard so much about? 'Cuz whatever this is is feeling pretty good.)
-- Edited by very very tired on Friday 27th of April 2012 09:31:53 PM
What a lovely share. I know exactly what you are talking about, especially with coming home from a meeting, and the feelings of peace rather than anxiety and exhaustion brought about by needing to drink and needing to hide it.
Thank you for posting that.
__________________
The Golden Rule: Treat yourself the way you treat others.
Yes, it's living in the solution. Getting feedback on real human things and life on life's terms instead of scrambling around reacting to problems caused by intoxicants (both my own drinking and my partner's). Conversations that run deep instead of trying to connect with emotionally unavailable people. I do identify with what you are going through. It was a rush for me too, expecially coming from a background of being in a relationship with another alcoholic for so long (as we both have that history). It's like "OMG! I missed out on life for SOOOOOO long!" That kind of awakening is powerful and it is a large part of the basis for the type of psychic shift that the big book discusses is necessary to achieve lasting sobriety.
Mark
__________________
Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Yes, it's living in the solution. Conversations that run deep instead of trying to connect with emotionally unavailable people. ...It was a rush for me too, expecially coming from a background of being in a relationship with another alcoholic for so long (as we both have that history). It's like "OMG! I missed out on life for SOOOOOO long!" That kind of awakening is powerful and it is a large part of the basis for the type of psychic shift that the big book discusses is necessary to achieve lasting sobriety.
Mark
Thanks for putting it so eloquently, Mark. That is the "rush." I have never had the experience of so many people who know exactly how I think.
At a meeting, a woman said to me: "You looked like you were having a rough time. Just wanted to make sure you are OK." I was shocked that my emotions were so obvious to someone else and that she cared enough about a perfect stranger to ask about what was written on my face. The night before had been a huge emotional break-through for me, so at the morning meeting I was looking a little rough--even though I had put on my "everything is under control" facade. That facade doesn't work in meetings.
I have had so many of those experiences in the last 2 weeks. I don't have to hide anymore--and that is the coolest thing.
Could very well be that pink cloud. The good news is you can have them at least ONCE A WEEK, if you want. All you have to do is talk to your HP, tell him what you want and then, wait for him to give you WHAT YOU NEED.
Trust the Pink Cloud. It is GOD. Understand that HE is always there, ALWAYS LOVING...you...me.
-- Edited by rayted32 on Monday 30th of April 2012 09:08:02 AM
