Sorry about the login name, I couldn't decide on anything without being depressing.
After 30yrs of not missing a single day of drinking I stopped 8 days ago. I thought it would be harder or something bad would happen. I at least thought that I wouldn't be able to sleep without being boozed up. Not trying to be smug, I know 8 days aint crap.
I'm extremely depressed, maybe that's part of it or maybe it's because my wife of 11yrs had told me she's leaving me. No real friends but those who know me think I have a perfect life. Of course once my wife leaves they won't think that anymore. Now I don't even have a bottle as a friend anymore. Down to eating one meal a day and I even skipped that today. Why bother, is how I feel.
I havn't been to an aa meeting. Not really religious. Wish there were more people here. Is there a more active board? Sorry for the rant just felt the need to vent. Not much anyone can do.
What do you do now? Keep doing what you've done the last 8 days - Don't drink. Keep coming here. Keep posting. Keep venting. Call your local AA. Talk to someone. 8 days is awesome!!! We all gotta start somewhere and we start each day we get up. Depression is normal.....you might want to see an MD. Detox, maybe? ........You don't have to be religious to pray. ............ You're right, no one can do it for you, it's up to you. But, we're here to help and share our experience, strength and hope with you. You never have to be alone again......
Doll
-- Edited by Doll at 22:00, 2005-11-26
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* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
Thanks Doll, I have been praying but I think my wife is leaving anyway. Trying to write a letter to her right now to try to convince her to stay, she gets home from work in a coupla hours. Maybe you could sneak a prayer in for us.
Hey User.:) Doll pretty well summed it up. You do what you gotta do for you..one day at a time.to get you better...AA isnt religious...Its a spiritual program...God? Good Orderly Direction works.:)
A lot of couples do get back together after a period of sobriety..so one never knows with that one...some things just dont happen overnight..
There are a lot of recovering caring people on this board..we just arent all on here at once:)
Hang tough Buddy.
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Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..
Thanks guys, really do appreciate it. Just really bummed and that's a gross understatement. It may not be the end of the world but I've got real good view of it from where I'm standing right now. Might see if I can find a meeting sometime but I keep picturing Stuart Smalley. The stereotype thing I guess is getting to me. The letter is done so we'll see. It's like i've been on the neverending roller coaster from hell! Any more prayers, send-em out!!! I'll be back to visit.
Depression can be a come as a result of quitting drinking after a long period on the stuff. It can also, as in my case, be a contributing factor to the drinking. It wouldn't hurt to discuss the depression with your doctor or other qualified professional.
What the others have told you is true. I began this program as an agnostic, and haven't moved far from that position yet. Any AA'er who tries to convince you that you have to adhere to their particular brand of religion to make it work, is not legitimate.
Keep coming back, and watch how others among us are dealing with these issues.
If your spouse says that she is leaving because of your drinking behavior, you may still convince her that it will change. I don't know what all the factors are.
I, too, add my own prayers to Doll's for you, and your wife.
Going to meetings, getting a sponsor who helps me go through the steps, calling AA people and hanging out- going for dinner, bowling, etc- recovery literature, trying to help others, praying is big too- I start by asking God to help me stay sober and finish the day by thanking him. I have a month, there are some rough times with the depression, but some really fantastic times as well-
Things do get better. I know that may sound a bit trite at the moment, but each and everyone of us have been where you are now. I'm new to this board, but have been sober since January 1996. This is a very active board, but there are also chat rooms out there. Whatever it takes. As for Stuart Smalley - that's TV. It's not real. Try to get to a meeting and I'm sure you'll see or hear something that will help. I hope to see more of you on this board and nicely done on the eight days. I, too, came in without a detox, halfway house or anything like that. Just meetings and the gift of desperation. You can do it!
What do you do now? Don't drink, go to meetings, read the Big Book. Sounds simple but it works.
If you have been drunk for 30 years, 8 days is a big deal to be sober. I know that early on I was scared to death----of change. As miserable as I was, change was terrifying. I was filled with what ifs. Fear in early recovery is normal, as is depression. All you have to do is reach out in a meeting and there will be dozens of folks to help you out in a variety of ways.
You don't have to be religious to get the message but you do have to be open to being spiritual. You have to recognize that you are not in charge and another "being" or God is. Not that easy, but it works.
One day at a time, one minute at a time, go to a meeting, get a sponsor, and start working to get through the fear and begin to make changes. Maybe your wife will change her mind, maybe not. If you are sober and thinking clearly, you will be able to love yourself again.
AA isn't religious. I know of a lot of people that use AA its self for their crutch.
You will find a lot of sobriety there with tons of advice.
I can't make you go but my advice is You should get yourself to an AA meeting as soon as possible, and go at least 30 times before you make up your mind to keep going.
They say the first thing is sobriety and then you get into recovery. There are some miserable sober people out there who are not drinking but not in recovery yet either. AA is not a religious program. Who is Stuart Smalley? AA is a spiritual program that gives each person time and room to develop a unique relationship with the God of their current understanding,,, and if doubt is the current understanding then we start from there.
The person was right that said sometimes depression is part of getting sober,, and sometimes depression is part of why we get drunk. A lot of people don't need medical detox, but a lot of people do. Your body has been accustomed to functioning with a certain level of alcohol in it for a long time and your body could think something is really strange right now. I would advise seeing a doctor if you are too miserable,, there is probably a detox center near you too.
Sometimes people need space. Sometimes we need to make changes on our own. Then some people can be in better positions to talk about new directions and to move in them.
You can do it, man. That is the whole message of the 12 Steps,, and the 12 Steps give us the supports we need to do it, cuz we can't do it alone, totally on our own. We have our Higher Power, and we have each other. Welcome to recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Great replies everyone. I'm a total stranger to you all but you know I'm hurting, BAD, and showed me some compassion. I really appreciate it!
Detox is out of the question, I have a business to run. My two employees need their paychecks.
I'll find a meeting somewhere. Do you have to call or just show up. Can you kinda tell me what happens at the meetings?
I don't know what the 12 steps are but I've learned one day at a time for sure. So overwelming when not trying to keep that in mind. If all the walls all fall down tomorrow I'll deal with it then I guess.
I do need to get in and see an MD but for now I'm okay. My wife already has a counsellor but I can't see the counsellor without my wife's permission and my wife must be willing to work on "us". I asked her to make an appointment so I'm hoping!!!! We'll see.
Not sure if I should say this but I keep visioning a glass of amber rum with a big ice cube in the middle. sheesh, okay, not today, not today, not today!!!!!!!
For me it was ice cold corona with a big juicy lime sticking out of the top.. .........it get's easier as the " fog" begins to lift........you can just show up at a meeting.......you can call if you like. I don't know where you are, but most places someone will pick u up if you need them to.. meetings are pretty simple where I am. the 12 steps and 12 traditions are read, usually the chairperson will either have a topic or ask for one, then folks just pretty much share their es&h. Give it a try, what have you got to lose........Doll
-- Edited by Doll at 22:33, 2005-11-27
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* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
LOOK THATS GOOD 8 DAYS.. MAN IF I COULD JUST DO THAT IM SO HAPPY FOR U KEEP IT UP AND IF YOUR DOWN... GO SEE SOMEONE.. BECAUSE THATS ME IM ALWAYS DOWN.. PLEASE DONT GIVE UP LET US ALL NOW HOW YOUR DOING
.........it get's easier as the " fog" begins to lift........you can just show up at a meeting.......you can call if you like. I don't know where you are, but most places someone will pick u up if you need them to.. meetings are pretty simple where I am. the 12 steps and 12 traditions are read, usually the chairperson will either have a topic or ask for one, then folks just pretty much share their es&h. Give it a try, what have you got to lose........Doll