This go round at getting sober has been different than the first time around in so many ways. The main difference is that I'm doing what other people in AA, who are sober for years, do. Not doing what I think I should do, or someone else "on the outside" thinks I should do.
I've let go of a lot of things that I was holding onto. Lies, burried secrets, pocessiveness (of my children), ideals, a bit of perfectionism to name a few. Some of it I was forced to do, some of it I've done with the help of my HP. All of it has helped me see the light, and I don't struggle like I did the first time around with constant cravings and unsettled thoughts of never drinking again. I came into the program about 4 months ago, stayed sober for 40 days, and then starting drinking again. First just once per week (that was going to be my "allowance"), and of course it snowballed. Now I've been sober just over 2 weeks, but oh my, I've learned a lot.
I applied for an activity director position at a memory care facility earlier this week. I was surprised to be called in for an interview. I will find out toay if I get the job. One of my fears the past 5 or 6 years was that I would never be able to get a job somewhere because of my record with 2 drunk driving tickets back in 2003. So I told myself I was happy as a stay at home Mom, and I was the first few years, but for the last couple, I haven't been. I should have gone back to work, but I was afraid to find out I would never get a decent job. I was afraid to leave the kids with someone else, because of my own faults.
I went into the interview with honesty and personality. My own personality, no acts. I was not very nervous... in the past I would have been almost debilitated by nerves. I would have sabotaged myself by not being upfront about my tickets, but I was open about it instead. In fact, I brought it up.
Now as I sit here, I'm wondering if I'm being over confident. Still, I feel confident in the program, and in myself today. I feel confident that I'm ready to embark on a journey that will last a lifetime. Just the act of applying for this job, has been a growing experience. Wether I get the job or not. It's making me see the past as the past... something I can let go of, when I let go to this program completely.
__________________
Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Thanks for sharing that with us. Its good to hear the good things too. My sponsor used to say...No work, no stay sober. I been watching from the sidelines. You been working hard. And you been staying sober. So I guess my sponsor was right. Even if you don't get this job, at least you tried. And the ones who truly fail are the ones who don't try.
__________________
Not all my days are priceless, but none of my days are worthless, anymore.
The fact that you got over the hurdle that was keeping you from changing (in terms of both sobriety and the job) suggests that even if you don't get this one, you will get another if you keep looking. Good stuff Tasha!
Keep it up!
__________________
Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
I once read about something called Step 1.5 which is shut up and follow directions. It makes me laugh whenever I think about it but it is something I really try to do, especially when my ego tells me I know a better way.
Letting go rocks! :)
__________________
I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
Glad things are going well for you Tasha! Letting go- letting God. Easier said than done sometimes, but the rewards of doing so are peace, serenity and contentment.
Well done on your first few weeks of sobriety. I just kept working at it and things just got better. Like you said even within a job interview one need to be honest we never know what might come back and bite us on the bum ! :} Well working my program has helped me be honest from day one of arriving thank God.
I never wanted to carry the baggage of my past around that would hurt me any more and today I can honestly say that yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift. When I first heard this it was one of those big wake up moments :} WOW and I liked it so much I wrote it in the cover of my big book. Also there I wrote I must change because if nothing changes '' nothing changes '' and like the ticking of the clock everything changes. When I was drinking everything was the blooming same ! another bottle and hit the bed,kill a day ! How sad is that lol.:}
I also wrote the power of Alcoholics Anonymous is my companionship, my strength,my hope,my guidance. adding that this = Happy content sober and serean. I have worked hard and always do to keep it this way and for most of the time I am. When I look back to how I was I am truly greatful for being able to be honest today.
Tasha if you take this job all best wishes for you. Be proud of yourself in all you do.
