Self-pity is one of the most unhappy and consuming defects that we know. It is a bar to all spiritual progress and can cut off all effective communication with our fellows because of its inordinate demands for attention and sympathy. It is a maudlin form of martyrdom, which we can ill afford. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 238
The false comfort of self-pity screens me from reality only momentarily and then demands, like a drug, that I take an ever bigger dose. If I succumb to this it could lead to a relapse into drinking. What can I do? One certain antidote is to turn my attention, however slightly at first, toward others who are genuinely less fortunate than I, preferably other alcoholics. In the same degree that I actively demonstrate my empathy with them, I will lessen my own exaggerated suffering.
It has been an ongoing struggle to turn self-pity into self-care. Sometimes, I do deserve to go "Mark, you had a hard day. Do something nice for yourself." My instinct is still too much self-pity which comes in the form of "Why do I have to do X, Y, Z?!" and "Why do I work harder than....blah blah"
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Being of service to others helps me out of the self pity well as does reflecting on what life used to be like. There's nothing in my life that is so awful it even compares to how it was when I lived in the bottle. Add some gratitude and it is hard to stay down for very long. :)
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I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
