I love working this one day at a time program and then seeing how those days have added up to something I couldn't have even imagined back when I was drowning myself in alcohol. Life is so FULL now! I have an awesome job in which I am trusted with a great deal of responsiblity, a healthy marriage that isn't perfect but is perfect for me, and people that count on me and that I count on in return. It's joy times ten...and it keeps getting better.
I picked up my seven month chip yesterday (eleven months without drinking, seven months totally clean and sober) at the meeting I am currently the secretary for. I can't even express the sheer bliss I felt being able to share that moment with all the people in the program that have given their experience, hope, strength and love to me and that have allowed me to give in return.
It's like in The Wizard of Oz when everything changes to technicolor. Life is so much brighter now. It's rich, authentic and has purpose beyond my own skin.
I have come to not only rely on my Higher Power but to develop a deep and meaningful relationship with Him. I went from being isolated to knowing I am never, ever alone.
I am just so filled with gratitude that I was led to AA at a time when I was willing to go to any lengths to "get it". Grateful to have found a no nonsense sponsor who lovingly, but firmly, led me through the steps and required more of me than I thought I had inside. Grateful to call the people in my home group my friends and to know I belong to a community that cares and understands. Grateul to have MIP to visit each day. :)
It works, it really, really, really does. :)
-- Edited by vixen on Tuesday 10th of April 2012 01:41:45 PM
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I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
Hi Vixen, your post was a joy to read. It's so good to hear from someone who is thoroughly following our path, it is not as common as you might think. At my home group last night we were talking about growing up. I came in (to AA) mentally, emotionally and spiritually bankrupt, not to mention morally so. It is written in the BB somewhere that if we straighten out spiritually, then the other areas will get better also. Perhaps this is the true meaning of first things first. Like you, I was taken through the steps quickly and thoroughly, especially by today's standards, and the obsession was removed as promised. I was then able to get on with growing up which in my case was a slow process, starting at the emotional age of 13. Growing up of course means growing pains, but with the obsession removed, I was much better able to learn and grow from the pain. Alcohol never came up as a possible solution. Had I failed to take the steps and have my spritual awakening, I can see clearly how difficult my emotional growth would have been, with alcohol the most obvious solution to all problems. If I could have managed to stay dry at all, it would have been a miserable existence of struggling through each day, from one meeting to the next, relying on human power to listen to my emotional BS and keep me sober. I have seen many travel this path. Some of them last quite a few years so it is not possible for the newcomer to see the truth of their situation. It appears to all intents and purposes that they have actually found and easier softer way, but as time passes it becomes obvious that they have not. Referring to your penultimate paragraph, I very much understand about being led to AA at a time you were willing to go to any lengths. It was the same for me. Some call it the gift of desperation, others the window of opportunity and willingness. It is my experience that this window is only open for a limited time and like you I jumped through with both feet, before it closed again. Thank you, Vixen, for a powerful and positive message.
I always enjoy your sharing here and thats for the post. It is great to see when the light comes on for people. Like myself God gave you some willingness and it sounds like the spiritual experience and psychic change is taking place.
If we are grateful for the gift, we need to take care of it, hold it in high esteem and keep giving it away.
Thanks for the reminder.
take care,
Rob
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
Thank you all! This community is the frosting on my cupcake of a life. :)
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I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
