I went for a walk yesterday to the corner store. I was going over some stuff in my head. I sponsor a woman who is not only an alcoholic but also a crack and hydromorphone addict. I can't really help her with that and have suggested she find an NA sponsor for that. I met her through her boyfriend who was a client of mine in the recovery house I work for. Unfortunately, I had to discharge him for using and since he was on a conditional, he got sent back to be incarcerated so she's not too thrilled with me right now. I sponsor another woman whose boyfriend is still using (doesn't anyone just drink anymore?). I hear he's quite abusive, sometimes makes her work the streets so she can make money so he can get high, she keeps leaving him but she always goes back and she keeps asking me what I think she should do and I keep telling her she doesn't want to hear what I think she should do. And then there's this other girl who is the ex-girlfriend of a guy I used to sponsor who was also a former client of mine. He is currently incarcerated - not my doing - and she tried to take her life last week because even though she knows she needs to move on and get past this, she still loves him and secretly hopes he will come to his senses and return to the wonderful man he once was. I just happened to text her before she checked out and managed to talk her out of it. Anyway, all this stuff is going through my head and I heard someone talking to me. It was a neighbour of mine out walking his dog. He asked me how my day was going and I was thinking, how much time do you got, buddy, cause I got a lot to say.
There was a time when I only sponsored alcoholics and they were all men. But I know times are changing and I try to be always honest open-minded and willing. I figure I don't just sponsor Catholics, I don't just sponsor whites, and I don't just sponsor straights, so why would I only sponsor men. if they want to get sober and they're not afraid to do the work, then I'm not afraid to sponsor them. I'm still not sure if I got older and wiser, or if I'm just brain dead.
My aren't I just a chatterbox tonight. Have a great day unless ya got other plans.
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Not all my days are priceless, but none of my days are worthless, anymore.
Well, one reason I was given for sticking with the same gender sponsor or sponsee (or opposite gender for those with sexual preference for same gender) is that it is very easy for the sponsee to become attached, attracted, and dependent upon the sponsor--more so than in the same-gender arrangement. In other words, it's not all about you. (Not you personally). That said, often any sponsor rather than none may be a life-saver, especially with some "protective" age difference.
I have a male sponsor right now, I asked him to be temporary until I find a female, as it is very hard to find a female who has not already taken on more than they can handle. I've come to realize that I actually rely a lot more on this board for questions I may have, than I do my sponsor anyway. Have you thought of introducing this to your sponsee's? Writing things down is helpful for me because it slows my brain down to 80 words per minute. Also, I can look back at my progress, laugh and learn from my posts on the days I'm being petty and pathetic, re-read the messages people send to me when I get stuck like a broken record, or just simply read for a while... which usually stops the crazy from thrashing around in my head as if it were a mosh pit. For me, this is just as much a part of my recovery as going to meetings and working the steps.
Thanks for getting me out of my head this morning! Your sponsee's make me feel really lucky to have the life I do! I do believe you just shot me straight to the pink cloud for the day - and I plan to enjoy it, so thanks!!!! (You also motivated me to make sure my kids have a great day too with your other story/post so thanks for that too!)
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
