So I just got the results from my bloodwork today. Looks like I have high cholesterol, high triglycerides, high blood pressure, and my liver enzymes are high apparently all due to alcohol. Think I have alcohol-induced pseudo cushing syndrome. I started drinking heavily when I was 21 and I just turned 32. I don't drink every day, maybe every other day like 3-4 times a week. During the week if I drink it'll be maybe 8 drinks, but Fridays will be more like 12 or more. Funny thing is I'm going on a spring break trip tomorrow with my wife and old drinking buddies. I've been fighting stopping alcohol for a long time by taking potassium and magnesium supplements, milk thistle, not drinking two days back to back. It looks like I lost the battle though. If I keep drinking I'll get Cirrhosis. My liver is already inflammed. I have two kids, both very young. I hold a stable job, aren't violent, and pretty much to be honest enjoy drinking. I'm wondering what the next steps are. My doctor told me to cut down on the drinking which means maybe I can get away with only drinking on weekends(?) I don't want to do it half-ass but maybe I could just lighten up on it a lot and still enjoy the occasional drink. Any thoughts?
Following my 1st visit to A.A., I was able to not drink for a time.
When I went back to drinking, I thought I could control it. It seeming like I was in control at 1st but weekends only quickly turned into Wednesday being ok.
I don't remember exactly how long it took to be drinking every day again. What I do know is after 3 more years of drinking my marriage was on the rocks and I was drunk most days and every night.
When I came back to A.A. and worked the steps I was able to stop. I no longer believe I have control over alcohol. It controls me.
The 1st step reads:
1.We admitted we were powerless over alcoholthat our lives had become unmanageable.
Good luck! Glad you found the board. Keep coming back!
marharri...the rribs of the program were there for me when I got here and I came in with that "maybe" attitude rather than the "completely" attitude I now have. Everyone I knew and drank with and my family and the person in the back of my head told me I wasn't an alcoholic. Some screamed it at me and then like you when I was finally able to look at the evidence by myself for myself and do it without using the filter of bullshit I used all the time so that I could continue, I was left with the question...live or die? You already know that this disease is progressive...to continue the course would be fatal. This isn't wholemilk we are drinking...the carb numbers and such is just bs. We are using a mind, mood and physically altering chemical. Each time I got drunk...I could admit it...stopping forever would mean overcoming it which is a different matter. I had an alcoholic sponsor...a relative that spent lots of time with me trying to teach me how to drink. He didn't survive the lessons himself and I almost never did either. On one of our latter lessons he told me that "You will know that you have this (drinking) right when its just you, the bottle and a glass and the glass is optional" what he didn't know was that when I reached that "getting it right" event...I went into toxic shock and you are reading the writings of a dead man who got another chance to do it right. Of course that toxic shock event had dynamics to it...I tried to get as much of a fifth of hard stuff into me before I had to stop...If I had gotten that last ounce in...this would not now matter. However today the rribs and the others here and now you are what it is about for me. If you want to stop completely forever on a daily basis the lessons and experiences are here for the taking. If you are not sure in spite of the evidence then you continue to be the risk taker and alcoholics are risk takers each and every one of us the sober and the others; dead or not so yet.
From my experience if I used the same head and brain I drank with to try to think my way into sobriety it is and was obvious I'd never know what sobriety really mean't. I didn't even know what alcoholism was when I first reached the doors of recovery and I've got college time to help me understand what it is now.
Try something instead of thinking about it for the next 90 days. Find out where the open AA meetings are in your area (white pages of your local telephone book...there are millions of us around this planet) and then go to a meeting each day for the next 90 days...sit down, listen with an open mind, talk to others with time, and follow and practice the suggestions of the fellowship. That is my experience others here have their own...none of us have a guarantee and AA doesn't give one.
Don't drink and don't think for the next 90 days...find the program near you and keep coming back and tell us how you're doing.
Welcome to the MIP board. I guess you just need to look at your history. Personally, if I'm honest, never was really interested in having the occasional drink, after the first one, I just wanted to get pounded and finish the job. If your drinking 8-12 drinks per session something tells me you might not enjoy stopping after a couple.
Our AA Book tells us to use just having a couple drinks and then stopping as a test. If successful you may be a social drinker, and you probably don't need any of what we offer. If you fail, think you are an alcoholic and want to stop, we can help.
Take Care,
__________________
Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
Hi Mahaari and welcome. I don't want to talk you into thinking you are alcoholic, you might not be. From what you have written there can be little doubt that you are a heavy drinker to the extent that it has seriously damaged your health but that doesn't make you an alcoholic. I would suggest you call AA and get along to a few AA meetings. Go with an open mind and look for any similarities between your experiences and those you hear at the meetings. If you are completely honest with your self you will soon know the answer. You could also read the first few chapters including the Doctor's Opinion of the book Alcoholics Anonymous. There you will find out about alcoholism and the differences between "real" alcoholics and heavy drinkers.
Phew! I hear you say, maybe I am just a heavy drinker. Let me tell you of something I learned the other day. I was spending some time with an old AA friend of mine of some considerable sobriety, around 36 years. He comes from one of those smallish towns where everyone knows everyone else and he's about 70 years old. He was saying as an alcoholic he was somewhat baffled at how the heavy drinkers he knew were able to keep going and live there lives with none of the extreme problems that seem to beset him as an alcoholic. Like me, in the last stages of his disease he fervently desired to be a heavy drinker rather than an alcoholic - who wants to be an alcoholic right? So it seems that when his heavy drinking buddies passed the age of 50, they began to die. Cause of death noted as liver cancer, heart failure, etc, but not excess alcohol consumption. By the time he reached 60 he had been to the funerals of all his heavy drinking buddies, they died of the health effects of excess alcohol consumption, not alcoholism.
The moral of the story: be careful what you wish for.
Only you know if you are an alcoholic or not. Until then, AA is going to be of limited service to you. You have to enter this with zero reservations regarding your drinking if you are a true alcoholic. This is not a program that can help you cut down.
Absolutely none of us know how to cut down successfully because we are all a bunch of drunks that had to abstain completely and immerse ourselves fully into AA in order to arrest our addiction. I guess I am suggesting some more soul searching of your drinking patterns and whether or not you are really ready to surrender to the disease of alcholism and the program of AA. Until then, it will be half-assed not because you want to fail, but because you just are not convinced about needing recovery at the level that is going to create lasting sobriety. When you get there though, you now know that AA is the place to go. And of course you are always welcome to go to AA, keep coming back... This is just my feedback about how I know it works.
When I came to AA, it was not just this board....I came in to meetings, sobbing, totally defeated...busted down. I still had a job and a house and stuff but I was 100 percent convinced I was an alcoholic and was on a 1 way trip to the loony bin, jail, or death. It was fully obvious. I'd already tried "cutting down" hundreds of times and failed. I would just be mad after 2 drinks and felt jipped that I couldn't drink a whole bottle or another 10 drinks. There was no enjoyment in 2 drinks for me at all. The occasional drink had stopped being an option for me a long time prior. That is where I was at with my drinking upon coming into AA. I understood that and I think that is why AA has worked for me. I am not self-congratulating here but it is just what I know from my painful experience and the road back (recovery).
I pray for you that this knowing and these questions get answered for you with the least amount of pain but enough so that your surrender is full. Until then, you will entertain drinking and relapse and I don't want you to think AA does not work cuz of that. It works when you are really ready for it.
As an aside, my health was tanking and I was put on high blood pressure meds in my mid 30s due to my drinking. Over the last 3 years. My blood pressure went back to 120/80 and I have no cholesterol issues and work out regularly. I made a complete life change and that is what our literature calls for when you begin the journey of sobriety. This is not just about stopping drinking. It is about changing everything.
In support,
Mark
__________________
Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Welcome! If I were you, I'd try and quit completely for a few months. If you can't do that, that will tell you a lot more than we can. I knew I was an alcoholic when I repeatedly tried to quit for a month, then a week, and always failed to stay sober for whatever length of time I had planned to.
Thank you guys. I will try the couple drink test. As for tonight, it's Friday and I'm going to sleep sober. I will look into getting a copy of the book and keep you all in mind and come back with something.
