I completed a 30 day rehab in December but I have been struggling since I came home. I have relapsed and I am pretty down on myself. I'm finding it difficult to let go of the past as some of the wrekage due to my using has come back to haunt me. I am pretty much alone and scared most of the time. I'm trying to work the program but it's difficult at times.
Don't be down on yourself John, relapse is part of recovery and very few come in and stay sober their first visit. The best way to stay sober is to be around sober people. Get to some meetings, find a sponsor, and get and read the books man, it's the proven path and it works. What do you feel are the reasons behind your struggles right now? maybe we can help you.
Marc
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"Never make someone a priority who makes you an option"
I would say the main struggle I have now are feelings of lonliness and monetary problems. Through my drinking I have pretty much pushed everyone out of my life to the point where no one will talk to me. I go to some meetings but I have yet to really find one that I really click with. I suppose I just wish things will get better at some point. Trying to just live one day at a time.
Welcome John! Put away the bat, or atleast take the spikes out of it. We relapse because we're Alcoholics, not because we're bad people. Relapsing was part of my recovery. I needed every drop I took.
I continued to relapse until I got into the solution and out of the problem. The solution started with AA meeting attendance. Then following the suggestions of the 12 Step Program of AA.
What your dealing with is normal. We all come in here with a barrel full of troubles, feeling lower than whale sh*t. The 12 Steps will assist you with taking care of the past and brightening the future, but for now just take steps toward the solution. Meeting attendance and lots of them.
I hear you man, we all struggled with lonliness and our pasts too. ya got to get to some meetings John, it will help with the lonliness alot!! it won't cure all your blues right away but it will help, and remember you didn't create all your issues overnight. The past is the past, don't beat yourself up about it John, we all made many mistakes while we drank and used, we will worry about those in the future after we get a little time. I can assure you however, if you continue to drink your past will get alot worse, quit while you're ahead lol..
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"Never make someone a priority who makes you an option"
No one's alone on these forums or within their own addictions. It's a "we" program and all of us will help you reclaim the life you once knew. You can start by attending "AA" meetings and give the rooms a try. They will offer you some sound advice on getting sober. Where you take it from there is totally up to you. Believe me, it will get better, so keep listening and never give up hope. We won't, either should you.
~God Bless~
-- Edited by Mr_David on Tuesday 28th of February 2012 03:20:04 AM
I would say I am currently on Step 3. Trying to get in touch with some sort of spirituality to carry me through these tough times. I have not been picking up so I am at least sober. Am I exactly where I want to be? Not yet but I really am just taking it minute to minute right now.
I would say I am currently on Step 3. Trying to get in touch with some sort of spirituality to carry me through these tough times. I have not been picking up so I am at least sober. Am I exactly where I want to be? Not yet but I really am just taking it minute to minute right now.
Hey John,
Have you found a sponsor yet so you can get some real focus? You may go through a few before it is right, but you will see some progress if you can focus. I know the "Higher Power" subject can be a bit strange at first, but where are you at on that? Do you feel comfortable with the concept? This really works differently for many people. It evolves. I will just lightly touch on how it worked for me. I got to your point and hit a wall. I started asking for help and praying to a God that I really did not know. It started with just a baisc conversation, because it was the only way I knew to communicate. I asked, God listened. Because I now had to assume God was listening, I also had to assume God was watching. This made me follow through on things I was asking for help on. Help came. I asked for more. I had to do more as well. Insert your own HP for ""God". It is the cycle that AA builds, and after you see the improvements your prayers build, you get the "miracle" of blossoming sobriety and you end up on step 8. Have you ever seen the movie "Oh God" from the early 80's? It really helped me with the notion that my HP could be down to earth and plane spoken--understanding of our human weakness. Having said all that, I have failed my HP on a number of occasions, and, after facing those failures in a direct manner, my relationship with my HP became stronger. I hope that helps.
Tom
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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
TurningGrey: Thank you for that. My HP is "God" and what you describe is where I am at. Spirituality is new to me considering I have lived such a godless life.
Go through and read some of Marc's posts on other peoples topics, and you will see that you are so not alone. I think that is his message to people (and then some). But take it to heart. Even though we are just letters here... you are not alone.
the struggle helps us focus on what is really important. being sober is the part that helps us see what works and what doesn't. the steps are the footprints of others who went through all the same difficulties as we are going through. a sponsor is someone to help us do the steps. left on our own we relapse. i relapsed, too. i got back with my sponsor and we figured out where i took charge of my sobriety and fell down... this is a "we" program, and we all need strength and guidance from our HP to quit reaching for the bottle when stressed and reach up and out to others. keep coming back. jj/sheila
