So glad I found this. I've been alcohol free for nearly 5 months. I've picked up many white chips (I've abused other substances) and two red (picked up last red last week). I have a great home group and sponser although it's been hard to get together so I'm starting Step 2 this week. Looking forward to getting through all 12 although fearful of Step 4.
There is absolutely nothing to fear other than quitting and going back out. As it says in the BB of AA "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has throughly followed our path." I have an acronym given to me by my elder sponsor which helped me to understand fear, where it comes from and what it really is for me. You can have it freely cause he didn't charge for it either. Meditate on this...FEAR False Evidence Appearing Real. My head dreams it up and I come to believe it with out real evidence. I did my brain and thinking system in years ago with booze so my independent self thought is always suspect. I trust thoughts more when they are discussed with others in the program and when I get feedback from the fellowship. That is when I know that the picture my head is painting might be more valid. I ask a lot and of of the consequences is I'm still sober. Keep coming back and of course congradulations on the 5 sober months you have now...Duplicate that!!
When I was 17 and living at my dads house where drinking was VERY common, we awoke one morning to noticing a plastic bag under a tree in our front yard. Inside the bag was a copy of the AA big book and some casette tapes. Inside the book was a sheet of paper that someone had written:
FEAR False Evidence Appearing Real.
This is the first time Ive heard that saying since then.
Hi lynn, great work on 5 months! That is a great accomplishment. Glad your here! Jerry, I never heard that acryonym before but that's a great one...I will definately have to retain that one. Dolly
Welcome Lynn,glad you found us.Way to get into "our solution"..Fear takes flight ,as Faith stands firm........Keep working ...Stick around WE need you.........
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Welcome, Lynn, and congrats on the five months! :)
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I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
Welcome Lynn! I heard a new saying this week (Since AA is so full of slogans and I thought I heard them all): "Do a 4th or drink a 5th." Made me chuckle. Seriously though, if someone told you, "Hey Lynn, I want you to do some introspection and learn about yourself on a deeper level!" You would probably be like "Ok, that sounds cool." That is all the 4th step is. It is nothing so intimidating. You know your own history so nothing is going to be in it that you don't know on many levels already. The only reason the 4th step has its own reputation around it is just because of the drama that people in early recovery tie to it. I spent years ripping myself apart and believing I was a piece of crap so actually doing an objective inventory was LESS threatening than the things I'd already been telling myself in my head.
Glad to have you here!
Mark
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Also, I have come to find out in the program that the only fear that does me any good is fear of relapse. Even that fear is not always useful if I let it limit my freedom too much. Our literature impores us to be fearless, thorough, and painstaking in our recovery work. So while I do understand fear of uncertainty and the future that is involved with doing the steps and growing, there is much more to be afraid of in terms of going backwards. Having the scale lean towards that growth direction has been what kept my recovery on track thus far.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
When I was 17 and living at my dads house where drinking was VERY common, we awoke one morning to noticing a plastic bag under a tree in our front yard. Inside the bag was a copy of the AA big book and some casette tapes. Inside the book was a sheet of paper that someone had written:
FEAR False Evidence Appearing Real.
This is the first time Ive heard that saying since then.
