Left my sober-living ranch that I've lived at for 18 months. Left my GF, flew 2,000 mi basically for a drink. Amazing. Alcohol never ceases to baffle me. Been home for like two+ weeks and wish I could stop drinking..it's bad. knowing what the solution is doesn't make it easier to put the drink down. Been here a hundred times but it's no easier, actually it's harder. I have to drink around the clock just to maintain appetite. Its 10:30am, and I'm drinking y roommates liqour stash that he doesn't know that I know about. He's gonna be pissed when he gets up. I cannot live like this for long!!!
Hey Dods. Thanks for posting so we can remember and avoid. Prayers my friend. Can you surrender? Have you looked into the Abyss at its deepest point in your life? You really don't need to go to the actual bottom. Many times, if you see the bottom, its enough. It is different for everyone. I have to tell you that for me, when I saw the Abyss, I turned to my HP. (For me its Jesus) I dropped to my knees and asked for-and received help. As simple as that. I have not been a Saint since that point, but every time I fell I was picked up because I am honestly trying to progress. Its like a good parent is there for you and you are still an innocent child. Just keep trying and asking your HP for help. At this point I would focus what turns out to be your drunken mind (no insult intended-I have walked in your shoes) to reach out to any HP....(Uh, I guess I should mention reaching out for a non evil HP) for a start, and refine your HP with age and experience . Prayers to you Dods. As an aside, I think you, me and Sober Steve have been here about the same amount of time. If you have a chance, re read Sober Steve's posts. Persistence, not perfection, is the key, and you keep posting, so I know you have persistence. Prayers to you my friend. (So that you do not think that statement is just words, at 11:55 est I stopped typing and closed my eyes, reached out in reverence to my HP, and asked: "Jesus, please ease Dod's burden. Please send him warmth and peace. Please ease this hangover so that his mind can find surrender. Please help being sober not a knuckle wrenching event but an act of surrender. Please help him find his HP") Tom
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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
For me, it took a devine intervention. I went to jail after moving state to state trying to run from self, and after I got out I finally had just enough dryness to walk up to a meeting straight out of jail, instead of hitting the local tavern. I hope and pray that something happens for you. It may not seem like it will, but once it does, no matter how bizarre or painful, you will be greatful once you get a little sober time. Glad your putting it out there for someone to offer their thoughts and experience.
You are loved, even if you dont know whos loving you, AA is.
Hey Dods, I was thinking about you the other day when Tipsy McStagger swaggered back onto the board. Doesn't matter how, how many, or how many times. It takes what it takes, and every new beginning is a NEW Beginning. Get in a detox and get going. You're still a fairly young guy (under 30?) get-r-done. Feeling sorry about yesterday is useless (and really sucks). It's natural for a drunk to get drunk. It's extraordinary for a drunk to get sober. Time to excell!
It's not as hard as you are making it out to be. Follow what Dean said. You are right that you have been through this before. I think you actually are better equipped now to do this and you have found out yet another truism of your disease. When you pick up again, the disease comes back right where your left off (or usually even worse). This has got to be just another reason for you to surrender. I don't think you have a problem understanding you are powerless over alcohol....You have a problem consistently caring that you are powerless over alcohol. Stop the self sabotage and choose to have a life. Otherwise it will be back and forth on this passive suicidal roller coaster your whole life.
I am happy to hear from you Dods. You sound like you are in a rough spot now, but I do have faith you are better equipped now to get back on track. DO THE NEXT RIGHT THING!
Mark
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Welcome back, Adam. Jump right back into that sobriety saddle while you have this chance. Chances run out so do the outrunning, brother. You can do this. 1000 begins with one step. 12 begins with 1. You can do it. I believe in you. So does your Higher Power. Time to give something back but you can't give what you haven't got. Less of the riddles now. Just want to see you get well. Throw your guns on the table, Adam. It will get better. Where/when is your next meeting? Recovery love & fellowship always 1Day@aTime, Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Sorry to hear about your drinking woes Adam. Go to a meeting, then decide if you can wait til after the next meeting to drink. Repeat as needed man. There is no easy way to stop Adam, but you have to stop! Go to meetings and get involved, clean coffee pots, sweep the floor, pick up butts in the parking lot, do something other than drink.
I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers man, hopefully you don't need to lose everything like many of us.
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"Never make someone a priority who makes you an option"
Hey Dods. Thanks for posting so we can remember and avoid. Prayers my friend. Can you surrender? Have you looked into the Abyss at its deepest point in your life? You really don't need to go to the actual bottom. Many times, if you see the bottom, its enough. It is different for everyone. I have to tell you that for me, when I saw the Abyss, I turned to my HP. (For me its Jesus) I dropped to my knees and asked for-and received help. As simple as that. I have not been a Saint since that point, but every time I fell I was picked up because I am honestly trying to progress. Its like a good parent is there for you and you are still an innocent child. Just keep trying and asking your HP for help. At this point I would focus what turns out to be your drunken mind (no insult intended-I have walked in your shoes) to reach out to any HP....(Uh, I guess I should mention reaching out for a non evil HP) for a start, and refine your HP with age and experience . Prayers to you Dods. As an aside, I think you, me and Sober Steve have been here about the same amount of time. If you have a chance, re read Sober Steve's posts. Persistence, not perfection, is the key, and you keep posting, so I know you have persistence. Prayers to you my friend. (So that you do not think that statement is just words, at 11:55 est I stopped typing and closed my eyes, reached out in reverence to my HP, and asked: "Jesus, please ease Dod's burden. Please send him warmth and peace. Please ease this hangover so that his mind can find surrender. Please help being sober not a knuckle wrenching event but an act of surrender. Please help him find his HP") Tom
Toms right, it took what it took and if I can do it anyone can, I went almost two years on and off this board, in and out of AA meetings, then it finally clicked. It was here all along. All I had to do was do what was suggested and I have 106 days now. Thats a miracle! You can do it! One day at a time! WE are all here for you! Keep coming back, please.
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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Hey Dods, I was thinking about you the other day when Tipsy McStagger swaggered back onto the board. Doesn't matter how, how many, or how many times. It takes what it takes, and every new beginning is a NEW Beginning. Get in a detox and get going. You're still a fairly young guy (under 30?) get-r-done. Feeling sorry about yesterday is useless (and really sucks). It's natural for a drunk to get drunk. It's extraordinary for a drunk to get sober. Time to excell!
Amen, Dean. It does take extraordinary measures on our part, but thinking the drink away will not do. Remember, we have upside down thinking; and the only way we can manage any sober time is to surrender to the program and allow others to lead the way. If the drink calls you back, then release that fear and seek refuge under the umbrella of divine love, for today. The umbrella known as "AA".
Hey Dods good to hear from you. We are here with open arms whenever and/or wherever you need us. Willingness is the key. The power of this fellowship and the 12steps is "indescribably wonderful" Keep Coming Back!
Hey Dods, it's good to hear from you. Sorry to hear the backpack is accumulating weight. I hope you move toward the solution soon. Please come back and tell us how your doing.
Hi, Id be more than willing to bet what your seeking in a bottle lies in sobriety. I could tell you some really low stories of mine from a few years ago but Ill save them for myself. Hope it works out for you, sometimes the first step is the hardest thing.
