I recently went to a meeting where someone was thrown out because he sat in the back working on a laptop. I saw people texting with no consequences but one overbearing member told the person to leave. While there may be a group conscience is the texting ok then? Does this cross the boundry of the only requirement is a desire to stop drinking. They also chased out a parent who had QUIET children playing on a laptop. What else can we do to scare people out. I have seen people correct papers, do crosswords, text, read, sleep...who cares if a. They bother nobody. b. they may rear something. c. Its none of the other peoples business.
Hi Frank welcome, great thread. I see nothing wrong if their minding their own business and not distracting others. Ive seen elder women knit, teens text, people writing notes. So to me its not a big deal, I go there to get what I can out of it. Id love to hear others responses too... Keep coming back Frank!
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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
I agree frank and welcome to the board. However, be aware that a group can has unique rules, through voting on them in their group conscious meetings. You can attend these monthly GC meetings, bring several like minded folks with you and make positive changes.
Yes groups are autonomous unless what they do affects the program as a whole. It sounds as though there may be some"police" there. Yes I like Deans idea as there may be some suffering individuals in that group that could use some "spiritual feedback' Some are not immediately ready to hear the message thats why we say keep coming back....Dont let resentments or judgements on one group take you out of the picture.We all can be part of a problem ,we strive to be part of a solution.Our disease is cunning ,baffling and insidious,it always wants us back and it works in strange ways.For me,I may have approached the chair after the meeting and communicated how I was feeling and shared my concerns in a caring manner for someone who may have been sent out to oblivion for "violating the rules??? If it ain't spiritual it aint practical always sticks in my mind................personal recovery depends on unity if the group doesnt remain stable (we do not govern)the fellowship perishes and individuals die(stability isnt just "rules"(1st tradition).That may be a little mellowdramatic but this disease dont play....Stay focused.....(this is my stuff...I have sat next to many still wasted,wreaking,not hearing,nodding and obnoxious..,it could have been me.............)Happy New Year...Keep showing up,dont let no one steal your joy!!!.........
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
I liken meeting behavior to being only slightly less restricted than you would act in church. It is disrespectful to text, type on a computer, or talk on a phone during meetings. Like Dean said, those are not all AA rules/traditions, but group conscience rules. You can still be a member of AA even if you get booted from a meeting for your inappropriate behavior - Just come back when you are ready to act in a respectful and socially appropriate way. It is not at odds with tradition 3. I don't really have a problem with asking someone to leave that is disrespectful like that. There recently was a guy in a meeting that I go to that I have seen chronically relapse. This was a traditions meetings and we were talking about how newcomers often dump their problems and then don't listen for the answers and how also it is so disrespectful and against old school AA to have people "multitasking" in meetings. This particular person responded that none of us "knew what it was like to still have the obsession to use/drink and that he was figety and distracted because of that and, if he was texting or figeting it was because of that and if we just understood we would know what it was like."
Um....Hi terminal uniqueness...meet the reason why you are a chronic relapser (That is what I felt like telling this person - along with that all of us knew exactly how he felt but we sat on our hands and listened in meetings instead of whining how everyone should understand us). So anyhow, I think people should be in a meeting when they are at a meeting. If kids are old enough to play on a computer in a meeting, they are old enough to do it in a hallway. Texting and all that BS needs to go. Just my opinion though and I am only 1 person. That is why group conscious rules.
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Yes the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking, and thank God for that. But then there's also an AA group is autonomuos except in matters affecting other groups or AA as a whole and finally, this group does not tolerate behaviour likely to offend, intimidate, frighten etc. So I have been in meetings where people are texting. It annoys me, it distracts me (if I let it) but i can tolerate it. But what are they texting and to whom? Are they breaking their or my anonymity? I have been in meetings where people take notes - that used to bother me until I found that they were making bullet points of what was said (but not who said it) to refer back to later. I have been in meetings where people share, then read something. If it's the big Book I'm OK. But if it isn't then I'm troubled, it distracts me, but I can live with it. But if they start referring or quoting it, then I object (and that includes the Bible, the Quran, any religious tracts or texts, self help books particualrly F Scott Peck). I have been in meetings where people chatter during shares - I'll ask them to please be quiet, if that don't work I'll ask them to STFU. I've been in meetings where there are children - I leave, as I don't feel safe to share in front of under age non members. Fidgeters, itchers, whiners, snorers, sleepers - don't bother me. Multi taskers do. it's 90 minutes out of your life. turn your phone off, shut the laptop down, put your paper away and try to pay attention.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
Bill I chuckle whenever personal anonymity is brought up. Everyone that knew me, knew that I had a drinking problem. Them hearing that I was in AA would've been a relief or something to approve of.
Bill I chuckle whenever personal anonymity is brought up. Everyone that knew me, knew that I had a drinking problem. Them hearing that I was in AA would've been a relief or something to approve of.
I'll break my anonymity when I want to or need to but I try not to break anyone elses, by association.
My wieghtwatchers buddy is also a member of our fellowship. I won't break my anonymity to anyone in weight watchers becuase by implication I'd break hers too.
there are still lots of people that I know in teh fellowship who succesfully keep their condition from certain people because to break their own anonymity could do them harm - some people don't tell their employers or employees, for good reason. It wouldn't be right for me to inadvertently 'drop them in it.'
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
No argument at all Bill totally agree, I'm just fortunate that I don't have to worry about it. What makes me laugh is imagining that I had to try and keep it from anyone. Heck even most of my customers know. I've found that a sence of humor goes a long way. It also helps to have some time on your side.
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Tuesday 3rd of January 2012 12:30:01 PM
No argument at all Bill totally agree, I'm just fortunate that I don't have to worry about it. What makes me laugh is imagining that I had to try and keep it from anyone. Heck even most of my customers know. I've found that a sence of humor goes a long way. It also helps to have some time on your side.
Agreed, I remember being all bent about my anonymity when I was new and my sponsor laughing at me because I didn't mind dry humping the cocktail waitress, peeing in public, and hitting the door at the Sand Dollar and being so drunk I flipped over it (the top half stayed open, the bottom half was latched) but God forbid if anyone found out I was sober, they might think I had a "problem"
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Light a man a fire and he's warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
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