so im 19 years old and im marrieddddd and i have a baby on the way!! im married to a marine and hes gone all the time!! idk how to handle a baby by myself i try and try not to drink but it is gettiing hard!! im happpy i have stayed sober for this long and not jeopordize my babys life. im just scared i guess
Hi Kimberli, and welcome to the board. I was raised in a military family, born on a Navy base. Father was at sea 6-12 months at a time. It is difficult but you don't have to do it alone. Loneliness is not our friend. Look for support from family and other military wives. Do you think that you have a drinking problem? There are a lot of sober ladies here to talk to. Come back and check your thread.
Welcome. I'm sorry you are having a hard time. All I can say is that I have a friend in the program who drank while she was pregnant (her daughter is now 10) and every time anything goes wrong with her health or development she is wracked with guilt that she may have caused it. Maybe keeping at the forefront of your mind that you can never go back and change anything you did while you were pregnant will help keep you on track. I believe there are support organizations available to military spouses, through the VA hospital or otherwise, have you been able to locate any services like this?
Welcome to the family here! I suggest going to a meeting. There are many meetings that allow kids and daycare and you can start while you are pregnant!
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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
You are also courageous for coming here and letting us know and hear about you Kim...Scared is human and there are lots of that type of animal on this board. Drinking I did also; for a long time starting at the age of 9 and later on it became habit and part of my life; a part of all of me. I'm glad you have a sense of what it is and is not; for your child and for yourself. I'd suggest you go after as much information as you can about the chemical using the American Medical Association webpage and the other Medical Association webpages and the National Institute on Health and more. The bottle will not tell you and the store will not either so go to those that will let you know what it is that we get addicted to and why and why we can progress from a hangover to the grave or to recovery dependant upon our willingness to get attached to powers greater than ourselves and our alcohol. Your man isn't home, he's in the corps and away and now you have the men and women of MIP to hang with...you are not alone by any stretch of the imagination.
Cautionary Tale: Welcome. Children and drunk parents don't mix. I had my 18 month old with me while fishing. This wasn't her first time. She knows her way around shorlines. I fell in. I passed out. My wife came along, pulled me to shore and slapped me awake. I had not drowned...yet. I was hypothermic with a body core temp of 93 degrees. We went to a marriage counselor the next week and told our story. He told social services. Social services contacted us and now I have my state government in my home once a week for six months because I am now a registered child abuser as defined by "denial of critical care." That will be you. Get pulled over for a broken tail light with baby in car. Blow a number. Child Endangerment. Get drunk and fall asleep on the sofa. Neighbor hears baby cry before you do. Wakes you up, smells your booze. Next day calls social services. Walking baby instroller, twist ankle while cop is watching. Breathelizer. Blow a number. Child Endangerment. Then what? If a criminal charge is filed, you could go to treatment for 90 days while your baby is being raised in foster care. Or, you could get off light and just have social services as your new best friends. Either way...your Marine will get a report. It's his kid, too. So, while trying to "stay frosty" and live to see another day, he's distracted by the thought of his beloved alcoholic wife screwing up and endangering his hope, his love; his reason for waking up in that hellhole and strapping on his gear again. He doesn't need that crap. Not now.
So...flush your pride down the toilet and get help; AA is good, VA family services is good. The Liquor store is NOT. The stakes are too high.
Hi Kimberli & Welcome. So much to handle at such a young age, no wonder you are scared. Being scared is ok. Turning to the bottle to handle your fear is not. The greatest thing I have been given through the AA program is the absolute knowledge that no matter where I go or what I do in my life, I will never be alone again. First and foremost, I will always have my Higher Power, my definition of God, with me. Secondly, the power of the support I receive from the fellowship and the friends I have made in AA is more than I could have ever imagined. Being pregnant and having a baby is life changing. You don't want to cloud that with alcohol, or risk your health or that of your baby. Great motivation for not drinking, at least for the moment. Sounds like you are struggling even with that, so what happens when the baby gets here? You do not have to do this alone. As others here have posted, the military has support systems available, and AA is everywhere in the world. Please, reach out in person to someone around you. The help is there, but no one will know that you need it unless you ask. Or as Aquaman has testified to, you endanger your child or worse. That is not the way you want to do it, it hurts so much worse than the fear you are feeling now. You made the first step by reaching out here. I will pray for you to find the strength to reach out in person. Please keep us posted on how things are going. Peace
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I asked God for all things that I may enjoy life. He gave me life so that I may enjoy all things.
Welcome Kimberly. Good for you that you have reached out and admitted there is a fear and that you have used alcohol to overcome the fear. I hope you find the help you need to take the action you need to overcome the fear. I lost my first baby at 16 and had my first daugher at 18 I wanted so desperately to be a good Mom that it was a great motivator to stay sober until after her birth. But I didn`t do as you are doing and reach out, and I drank again for another 37 years. I drank thru my second pregnacy and now that my son is behind bars for his 8th DUI I can only try and loosen the painful grip that guilt has on my heart. Like so many other people have said parenting and drinking do NOT mix. I hope and pray you find the morsel that keeps you coming back so your life and your child/childrens lives will be so much richer.
Kimberly...If you would be comfortable letting us know your zip code some of us might be able to help you to locate meetings which would allow you to bring your baby with you to the meetings or perhpaps have child care available.
Me and my gf just had a baby 3.5 months ago. I sincerely, with all my heart, applaud you for doing as well as you have on your own while your husband us away. I honestly don't know how anyone does it alone. Ours is a good baby by most standards and she's still a handful for two of us. We are crazy in love with our little girl but we're also very tired and frazzled. If you can get through this while under the stress of having your partner away under worrisome circumstances then you can do anything.
You should feel overwhelmingly proud of yourself and use that feeling to keep being strong. At 19 you're handling what would break most of us so called "older & wiser" know-it-alls. It's okay to be scared...just use the feeling to make the right choices. It sounds like you are.
