Hi

Vasilisa · Newbie

Hi

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Hello Vasilisa and welcome to the board. Most of us felt hopeless that way, where hopelessness turned to desperation and finally willingness to ask for help. There are many sober women on this site that should be along shortly. One of moderators is in Liverpool, my cyber sober sister Sobrietyspell please pick up the pink phone.

Dan B 76 · Veteran Member

Vasillisa

There is hope. First thing is to realize that you are not alone. You are reaching out to the right people we have been where you are. I strongly suggest that you find an AA meeting and go, if you are affraid call someone and they will go with you or come over and talk to you. Read the Big Book there are many sight online where you can access the book here is one link that I like

http://whytehouse.com/big_book_search/index.asp.

Keep coming back we need you.

Dan

-- Edited by StPeteDean on Sunday 4th of December 2011 12:45:56 AM

nezyb · Senior Member

Hi Beth, Welcome to MIP. You are in the right place, there is no special board for newcomers vs. "old timers", we are all part of one. I can surely relate to your sense of desperation and hopelessness. I was there myself a mere 11 months ago, and found myself going back for more a few months later. I picked up a 5 month coin on 11/20/11. I cannot begin to tell you how my life has changed as a result of AA and the 12 steps. The good news is, there is a way out, if you are willing to work for it. All of our willpower, all of our intelligence, serves us absolutely no purpose what so ever once we have reached the point you describe. The AA program, the 12 steps, offer us a way up and out of the hole. In reading your post, I'd say you have become sick and tired of being sick and tired, as the saying goes. There is a way out, and you don't have to do it alone. Google AA or look it up in the phone book. Get yourself to a face to face meeting, share there what you have shared here. It will probably be one of the most difficult things you have ever done in your life. And if you are willing to work for it, you will be amazed at the results. Thanks for stopping by. Every sober day I have is a miracle, I hope you can find that for you. Peace

As said in a previous post, you can reach out to someone local through the AA hotline in your area. Call them. If you are afraid to go to a meeting alone, someone will go with you. Or they will come to you. It is simply amazing, truly a miracle, waiting for you with your name on it.

-- Edited by nezyb on Sunday 4th of December 2011 01:05:20 AM

SoberSteve · MIP Old Timer

Welcome to the Fam Beth!

angelov8 · MIP Old Timer

Welcome! That is just how I felt when I first "woke" up and saw the drinking realistically. AA is a broad place, for folks here come from all walks of life and our common thing is that we cannot control the drinking no matter how much we try to stop. Desperation is a good place to start from. I feel for your pain. I know exactly what that suffering is like. I was out of my mind with stress and anxiety at trying to keep it together and the drinking seemed to be the only relief. And yet I saw it to be the root of all my problems. I hope you keep posting here and get in touch. There is a private message system here where we can share more in depth personally so if you'd like to please contact me.

Jerry F · MIP Old Timer

Aloha Vasilisa and welcome also to the board and the suggestions from those who have been where you are at also. One of the many thing I found out about alcohol was that it affected every part of my body and every level of my being. It left nothing of me untouched and so the first thing I had to do...frightened or not...was to stop the alcohol. I had major depression and was supposed to have major paralizing depression because alcohol is a liquid depressant along with an anesthetic component and combined with other drugs was synergistic. It can go from my tongue to my CNS system in less than a second as it has the quality to pass thru the blood brain barrier without anything to deter it. It desolves the proteins in my body and that of course takes in my neurological system including my involuntary functions (breath and heartbeat). Once in my system it runs itself and creates the need for more by creating discomfort and pain when I'm not using...more alcohol will anestithize some of pain for a while and also set me up for more later on when the shots start to decrease. I've been in toxic shock several times and feel blessed to have outlived the "didn't know and didn't know that I didn't know" periods of time. Alcohol didn't decrease the stress in my life and body but increased it such that I suffered seizures and tremors, random blindness and rapid pulse and high blood pressure during and after I quit drinking. I know and understand and respect that I have a compulsion of the mind and allergy of the body today with alcohol and that I need to have what I have put into my life since I was introduced into recovery. I need a spiritual based, social model program of recovery attended by others like me who have come to understand what I have come to understand and who are willing to live it on a daily basis trusting a power greater than themselves and greater than alcohol.

Getting out of bed and getting to a meeting or another recovering alcoholic's help might or will be the hardest thing you can do for now and hard to do things get easier with daily practice.

I hear you saying our first step..."We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanagable". I hear you saying that very clearly. Our next step is "Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could lead us to sanity". Before you cave into that next drink...imagine a power greater than yourself and booze and ask, "please take this from me. I've had enough"...those were and still are my words; they work for me and might for you. Other members here can give you their words. But do it and then get to a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous before you do anything else.

We're standing with you and in support. Many of us thought our condition impossible to change and we were wrong and happy for it.

(((((hugs))))) smile

gonee · MIP Old Timer

Welcome!

pinkchip · MIP Old Timer

Sounds very similar to me a few years ago. I suggest go to a meeting of AA and go to your doctor about the anxiety and depression.

Most importantly, Welcome! There is hope!

SeekingSerenity · Veteran Member

Welcome Beth. I am new to this site as well. I found some really encouraging topics that had some really helpful messages.
I also encourage you to try AA. Like you I tried so hard and for so long to not drink by myself and I just couldnt do it. Good luck

Frodo · MIP Old Timer

Welcome Beth.

vixen · MIP Old Timer

Welcome Beth. You never have to drink again. Hope you take the great advice here and make it to an AA meeting soon. All the very best to you

Aquaman · MIP Old Timer

Vasellisa, Welcome!
Your story is your own...and ours. We are of the same place.

You are doing the right, courageous and difficult task of asking for help. Good Job! You have made the often elusive conclusion that alcohol is not your solution. Good Job! You are seeking help from other alcoholics. Good Job! You can use that courage to do two more things of paramount importance;
Seek medical assistance for your common, but seriously life-threatening psychological condition.
Seek out some AA meetings for help from other people who have our unique, cunning, baffling and powerful disease.

Good Journey,
Rob

TwelveSteps · Senior Member

Welcome, Beth. Your story sounds similar to many I have heard in the program. You're not alone, and help is available.

Please Google "AA hotline [your city]." In the U.S., these hotlines are staffed 24 hours a day by volunteers who are part of AA, and they'll be able to help you find a meeting or just talk to you for a bit if that's what you need.

It will be OK and you *can* stop.

GG

Jerry · Member

Beth,

Perhaps this information could be helpful.

AA Meetings: Stafford

Sunday:

5.00 - 16.30

St Chad's, Corporation Street ST16 3AG, Formerley Kingsmead Hospital

Wednesday:

19.30 - 21.30 The Quaker Meeting House, Foregate Street, Stafford, ST16 2PX, Share In Recovery

For addtional meetings in your area go on your web browser to

http://www.aa-gb.org.uk/midlands/potteries/meetings.html

Also: National Telephone Helpline - 0845 769 7555 - 24 hour service

carlasober · Senior Member

Hi Beth, Keep Coming Back!

rrib · Senior Member

Welcome to the board. Sounds like you are in the right place.

The other right place to check out right now is a real live A.A. meeting.

You can have your life back. There is probably a phone number for a hotline or other A.A. contact in your area. The can tell you the closest place for meetings and the times.