I've been going to plenty of meetings, sometimes two a day. I've been participating any way I can, sharing when asked, helping clean up, etc. I found a temporary sponsor and have been talking with him daily. I am in the process of finding a beginner meeting and joining a step group and I feel like I actually have a plan and a goal as opposed to just filling a seat. Most importantly I've come to terms with my HP and finally feel that I have opened my heart and my mind to giving up the struggle for control. The compulsion to drink seems to have disappeared and I have been filled with feelings of gratitude.
Basically I've started following the directions given in "how it works"...I'm probably making mistakes or missing things but I'm doing the best I can to be thorough and fearless and although it's only been 10 days the promises are already starting to be fulfilled. I'm getting a small glimpse of the peace and serenity that I see in other aa members. I feel healthier, stronger and I'm holding my head up a little higher.
I've been told of the pink cloud and how many people fall off it into despair when it wears off. I'm not so foolish to believe that it will continue being this painless. All I know is that I'm going to soak up these good feelings like a sponge and use them to help lift me up when I inevitably fall back to reality.
Ride that pink cloud, Man! You can be on it every 24 hrs if you want to...... Congrats on 10 days! Way to go!!
There are no mistakes in recovery as long as you don't drink and go to meetings. Anything you think you might be "missing" is not meant for you to "get" just yet. Keep it simple and one day at the time.
WOO HOO!!
Hugs,
Doll
-- Edited by Doll at 22:43, 2005-11-06
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* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
"We never apologize to anyone for depending upon our Creator. We can laugh at those who think spirituality the way of weakness. Paradoxically, it is the way of strength. The verdict of the ages is that faith means courage. All men of faith have courage. They trust their God. We never apologize for God. Instead we let Him demonstrate, through us, what He can do. We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be. At once, we commence to outgrow fear."
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, pg. 68~
Keep going to the meetings and talking to that sponsor daily, the rest will come as you are ready for it. I am so happy for you...that pink cloud feeling can last. I had an oldtimer tell me that he had been on it for 30 years, he was told he would get drunk if he fell off so he just decided to stay on!
rosie