Hi Jules,

Thanks for the topic. I've been a vibrant member of AA for some time now, just like you. And that's only half the battle. The difference between who I am "today" as supposed to "back when" hasn't changed; it just got a lot busier that's all. AA still plays a vital role in my life as it did back when, and that will always be the case. However, my priorities have changed slightly since then, but my perspective has not. And that's been the key to my success overall.

People have numerous responsibilities today, more so than ever. They are not bound by the same standards as others and rightfully so. They need to fulfill many duties today, both in life and in recover. As people's priorities change, so do their programs as well. They manage their time between life, work and recovery, as does everyone else. So, it's important to manage our time effectively and do so without compromise. Our program may evolve over time as we shift our priorities accordingly. And the same goes for our personal life as well. 

I try to adopt a balanced perspective myself, in both life and in AA. And do so continually. I also need to adopt a sober routine that can dictate success over the long haul, and incorporate that into my lifestyle as well. Sobriety should always remain a priority for me, regardless. And that should never change. But the key to my overall success has always been proper balance -that, and adjusting my priorities while remaining true to both.

Altering my plans to suit AA may seem beneficial to some people but that's not true for everyone. -especially, if I want to achieve a better life for both my family and myself. I must remain a vital member of AA and give back a portion of what I've learned. That's certainly a given. But I can't withdrawal from the world either, especially when you consider my lifestyle. I have numerous responsibilities and AA is just one of them. I try to strive for something better every day while keeping some sort of balance between AA and my personal life. And that's truly important. The trick, however, is to find a good balance between both, not just one or the other. And that's when "prioritizing' comes into play.

Only a fool would abandon their dreams of a better life, and settle for mediocrity at the expense of AA. That would be a crime in and of itself. However, it should not negate our responsibility to AA either. Focusing on our needs alone and abandoning the fellowship as a whole is counter-productive to AA's primary purpose. And that's why proper balance is important. The primary purpose behind AA's overall success is to act cohesively as one unit and carry the message to the next suffering alcoholic -as we did when we first came in. But I need to balance my priorities to suit my demanding lifestyle, pure and simple. And that's how I work my program, above all else.  

~God bless~

-- Edited by Mr_David on Monday 21st of November 2011 02:21:54 AM

Hi Jules,

I can relate to your post, especially the dynamic first years when all the big changes happen. Like you I have been out in the wide world for quite a while now and it aint so bad. Lots of nice people. My sponsor was big on rejoining the human race and I well remember him encouraging me to learn the art of small talk. Can you imagine that? I was into deep and meaningful and found it very hard to socialize at the small talk level, boring even. But if some unfortunate back then asked me how I was, I would tell them, I can still picture the yawns even now. At about 4 years, as I recall, my late sponsor told me I no longer needed a sponsor, that his work with me was done. He had taught me the steps and also how to work with others. That was how we did things back then so I've been sponsorless for 28 years. It would worry me if the BB said  I should have a life long sponsor, but it doesn't. Like you I have some older member friends in whom I confide. 

I feel my life has gone through different stages, carreer boy, newly wed, family business, father, widower, and each stage has required that AA is balanced with all the competing interests. Now, I seem to have more time, my children are getting ready to leave home, starting their own lives. So I have more time for AA again. I have just finished a stint as GSR and a currently literature person for my home group. And I sponsor one or two men. I average about 2 meetings a week.

The thing that has changed is my reason for being involved. Whilst once I came to AA to save my life, I now continue to attend because it adds so much to my life. I try to contribute a little and seem to get immense pleasure back. There was another transition which I refer to as the twenty year blues an it has to do with where we place our dependence. It seems God wanted me to place my dependence on Him, not people and not even AA. But that's another story.

 

God bless,

Mike.

Jules,

In the beginning of my recovery I wanted to do everything and it seems like I did. As happens somtimes in recovery many people sat back and allowed me to do everything. Soon I became burned out and my life felt crazy and hectic so I actually stoped going to meetings for a period of 3 years. Soon I felt my life slipping back to what it had been like before, I felt myself becoming angry again at things that didn't bother me before, I quit hanging out with people in recovery and was slowly loosing the serenity I had found through the program. Then a young man who knew I was an alcoholic called and asked if I would got to a meeting with him and I agreed to go. When I walked in the room I felt like I was back home again and was truly where I belonged. I truly believe God put that young man in my life to keep me from going back over the deep end and I became his sponsor. Now I no longer do anything at the district level but I do attend 3 meetings a week and sponsor many people. I open the building for Friday night meetings, I come early and stay late to talk to those who just need an understanding ear. Now I love to watch my sponsees go through the steps and see them grow in the program just like I watched my own children grow up. I will have 23 years of sobriety next month and my life has never been better. I now have a balance between my recovery life and my life out in the real world. I guess for me sponsorship is what saved my sobriety and keeps me sober today.

-- Edited by Bob K on Monday 21st of November 2011 07:12:29 AM

Hi Jules, It happens to the best of us. Life may get in the way of meetings but it doesn't get in the way of the program. i might only get to 6-10 meetings a year. I'm pretty busy with running a business, building a mountain home 750 miles away from my primary residence, maintaining 5 rental properties, enjoying my marriage, hobbies... Sure I've got time to go to meetings but honestly it feels like going back to elementary school. When I do, I look to share but there are plenty of "Mr. and Mrs. AA's" that seem to have all the quotations covered lol. I do some sponsoring in another fellowship, with AA's that have ventured there and that is rewarding to see recovering folks that couldn't seem to have function relationships find their way. I do keep a sponsor and lots of recovery friends, most decades old. We do talk about recovery, which works as a meeting for me. I've gotten a lot closer (returning) to the program via this forum and am able to do some service work here. Find a way to stay connected and grounded. Don't fall into the "why can't I drink like they do" trap that comes with hanging out with people that can drink (normally). At 22 years, I still avoid hanging out with my other friends in straight up drinking situations. If we're at a rock show or festival, sporting event, fine but I'm not getting together at a bar or restaurant to watch them drink. Our brain is always trying to hash out what "normal" is. And repetitively watching folks drink will present that as normal for me, which it is NOT. Don't kid yourself about this, it's still serious business for us.