I'm struggling.... My name is Nick. Ive got about 16 months of sobriety. I have been through the steps, but somewhere along the line I lost my spirituality. Somewhere along the line I lost my "Willingness to believe God could restore me to sanity." As a result, i am scared, empty, and dont want to drink again. Has anyone been through this. I need help!
"First Things First" Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His rightousness and all these things shall be added to you. It doesn't say we have to find him we just need to seek him. If we truly seek him we will find him. We need to do God's work not God's job. I am not qualified to do God's job. God gives each of us oppotunities every day we just need to take action and do the work to take advantage of them.
-- Edited by Bob K on Friday 18th of November 2011 09:29:37 AM
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Tell me and I'll forget. Teach me and I'll remember. Involve me and I'll learn.
I got to the same spot with 3 years sobriety. I was still working The Program and been through the Steps etc.... I was spiritually sick and mentally down. What I found out was I forgot who could restore me to sanity? I surrendered and searched and my Higher Power who I choose to call God brought me back to Step 2: Came to believe a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. It's not me who restores me to sanity, it's an infinite God who can restore me to sanity if he is sought. Then on to Step 3: turned my will and life over to the care of God as I understood him. All that's needed here is willingness. Even the smallest amount of willingness, if sincere, is sufficient to allow God to enter and take control over our problems, pain or obsession.
In order to build my relationship with God I need to take continuous action which for me is Step 10, 11 & 12 on a daily basis. What I've found is I only move in one direction. If I'm not moving forward, then I'm going backwards.
I found when I get that way it's cuz I am avoiding some major change that is in my conscious, but I am railing against. I have reached a "sober bottom" and I need to do something different or change something major. I cannot tell you what it is, but not changing it leads you to doubt God and your spirituality cuz you don't see miracles and good things while you are not being true to yourself. Perhaps counseling...I can't say for sure. One thing I can tell you for sure is that you will never get over this hump if you drink again (not saying you were considering that).
Mark
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
When I am rebellious and trying to short cut the spiritual aspect of this program, this is always the result...
And when I am willing to Seek God, and open myself up to His power, His Love and His way of Life.. this is always the result...
The A, B, C's...
(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
(c) That God could and would if He were sought.
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It's important I remain a seeker, for when I do, the slumps don't last as long, nor are they as intense.
The Promises indicate we will have slumps... but that the promises will always materialize if we work for them.
The 3rd step in the 12 steps and 12 traditions book sum it up...
"Fortunately, we who have tried it, and with equal misgivings, can testify that anyone, anyone at all, can begin to do it. We can further add that a beginning, even the smallest, is all that is needed. Once we have placed the key of willingness in the lock and have the door ever so slightly open, we find that we can always open it some more. Though self-will may slam it shut again, as it frequently does, it will always respond the moment we again pick up the key of willingness."
-- Edited by John on Friday 18th of November 2011 12:10:46 PM
Nothing will so much insure imunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other things fail. Teach the steps to another alcoholic. Trust God, Clean House, Help Others. It'll pass Nick.
God bless, Mike H.
-- Edited by Fyne Spirit on Friday 18th of November 2011 02:02:55 PM
It's hard to add to what's already been posted ... You may want to re-read pgs. 86 & 87 in the BB and be sure you're not skipping the recommendation there ...
Or you could spend hours and hours on the internet chat groups like I do ;) ..... Just Kidding!
God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Given that I am new to sobriety, just a few days into it, I don't have any advice. I can tell you though, I am certain, should I stay on this new path, I too, as someone put it, will hit a sober bottom. Perhaps we all do at various times. That said, it's an important subject to address. So I thank you for bringing it up. Also, I want to say that I think it's courageous of you to reach out, to ask for help.
Thank you everyone for your help, I am eternally greatful for the support I get from AA. Today was a struggle, my hope is that some day i'll have some great experience concerning this issue to pass on to someone else.
Thank you everyone for your help, I am eternally greatful for the support I get from AA. Today was a struggle, my hope is that some day i'll have some great experience concerning this issue to pass on to someone else.
You already do. This thread has helped me, and who knows how many people that have read it.
Hey Esteban, ... I wanted to echo what NickG said ... stick with it ... you'll never regret it ...
I also wanted to tell you that you seem to have found a lot of maturity in the program already, for being so new ... And don't be so sure you'll hit a 'sober bottom' ... sometimes the many things we must change can look to be overwhelming, but we know we must endure or die ... there'll be talk of the 'pink cloud' where you experience thoughts so clear, that you think you're home, over the hump ... and that's the time you need to keep your head about yourself and try to remain humble (teachable) ...
Life is so much better without the alcohol but it still throws us curves ... and if we're spiritually fit, then we can handle them in stride ... So, ... that 'sober bottom' doesn't always hit us all ... and if it does, then you take action just as Nick has done and get your 'thinking' back on track ...
May God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
It will work out Nick. Give time, time and recovery that much more. It will benefit you now and over the long haul. You'll receive a breakthrough before you know it Nick, so keep up the faith and never stop believing.
Aloha Nick...you have done the right thing which I learned to do also when I was in your condition...reach out to others and then listen and practice what made sense to me at the time. HP isn't gone and you've reached another door as my elder sponsors use to tell me. I did what was indicated and needed another lesson.
What Fyne said worked for me. When I was locked up inside of myself the solution was to get out of myself and go work with or hang with the fellowship. I didn't always know what the "problem" was and therefore the solution either and when I did what Fyne suggested I got into the solution faster than just sitting by myself trying to figure out what the problem was. As you grow you start to know the next indicated thing to do and recovery becomes progressive...never perfect. Don't let your head come up with all of the answers put yours together with alot of others just as you are doing now.
Welcome Nick. What helped me was to focus on a "God of my understanding". I also heard that you can borrow someone elses till you figure out what that is for you. If you look around you'll likely find an "11th step group" to join. There is also many spiritual exercises and paths that don't involve a central figure or affiliate with religion at all. For me, just walking through the woods by myself is/presents a spiritual experience. Seek and you shall find.
