I had a very tough time walking away from a drink yesterday. At about 3 o'clock my boss asked me and a co-worker to come with him for a few beers and something to eat while we went over some reports. This was a very common occurrence with my boss, we have spent many a night boozing and carousing over the years. I tried to back out of going but he was persistent so I gave in and went. I ordered a coke and my boss and my co-worker started to really give me a hard time about not having a beer with them. They even ordered me one when I was in the restroom and plopped it in front of me. I told them that I was just taking a break from "alcohol" and that I just didnt feel like drinking. I couldn't believe the pressure they were putting on me, it was ridiculous...it felt like highschool (not that anyone ever had to pressure me to drink in highschool) and they almost were offended that I wouldn't drink with them.
I managed to get the hell outta there only having consumed 4 cokes and no alcohol but I didn't feel like I had "won" or been very strong. I felt weak and beaten up...it was discouraging and demoralizing to watch my willpower crumble and disintegrate right before my eyes. I almost drank, I almost walked away from everything that's important to me and that I know is right. I feel ashamed.
I'm afraid that I may not get out next time a situation like this presents itself.
Hey Tipsy, You did great, you didn't give in to the temptation, don't beat yourself up for almost. People don't like it when we don't play their game their way anymore. It makes them unconfortable. AA has a book called "Living Sober", you might want to check it out.
Hey, you stayed sober, have a great sober 24 today.
Its likely one of the strongest things youve ever done in your life Tip. No weakness, involved there. You did it for you Buddy, and thats what matters.
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Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..
As was stated above, no weakness was involved in what you accomplished.
Someone once suggested this, tell them you have Dr's orders not to drink today. They don't have to know its Dr. Bob.
Another suggestion, EVERY morning, ask for the gift of sobriety today. That one sure helped me. I'm on day 83 and it's been weeks since I've even thought of a drink.....
Keep fighting the good fight.
Hugs, Doll
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* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
hey tipsy you did GR8!!!!1 i know when i set boundaries people want to break them....sometimes "NO" is a one word sentence.......i have had people push their issues onto me..i was at a luncheion and there was all KINDS of stuff with refined sugar in it and i get really *bouncing off the walls* on sugar, it does NOT get along with my body......this one gal kept trying to FORCE some sweets on me and finally i looked at her and said "what part of NO do you not understand...i said no , now, many times and i would appreciate it if you respected my wishes NO SWEETS"....she got a bit miffed, but left me alone..... i have a RIGHT to not drink/ eat refined sugars/ white carbs if i CHOOSE......as long as i am not hurting another, they have NOTHIGN to say about it...........GOOD 4 U..........rosie
You are one heluva a man, my friend! Trust me, when I say that you have earned the highest respect from one who is not as sure he could have resisted such pressure!
My old boss was a drunk who didn't like to drink alone. When I was his production manager, I used to work a lot on saturdays, catching up on reports. He would start drinking at a local bar, then start driving around at around 10 am. If he spotted my car, he would pull into the factory, bringing the half case of beer he had been drinking with him, and insist that I drink with him.
When I decided to try to quit again, before I got back into AA, I switched my routine to working early on Sunday mornings to try to avoid him. Guess what? He liked to drive around on Sunday mornings with the case of beer he had bought Saturday night!
He got out of the business when he found it was interfering with his going to the bar at 10:30 on Monday through Friday morning. By that time I had finally told him that I was trying to quit, and hinted at what a great help AA could be. He got genuinely PO'ed, and said that he wasn't an alcoholic, because an alcoholic was someone who wanted to quit and couldn't quit, while he, on the other hand didn't want to quit, and therefore was only a drunk.
Nowdays, if I have a drinker or group of drinkers urging, cajoling, or downright trying to force me to drink with them, I also use the "Doctor's orders" excuse. I've told people that I am under strict orders not to drink due to a brush I had with hepatitis. I don't bother to mention that the "brush" I had was that if I kept up the heavy drinking, I would eventually end up with alcoholic hepatitis. (If you don't believe that, check out the effects of alcohol on the liver at the Mayo Clinic site...it ups your odds horrendously!)
Funny thing is, when you tell a bunch of half-snogged people that you would like to have a drink with them, but can't due to a current medical problem, the majority will not only quit pestering, but will actually feel sorry for poor you, who can't have the fun they're having (along with the headache and nausea they are going to enjoy later)!
Congrats Tipsy! You made the right choice. I've had a few situations where people seemed "overly concerned" that I wasn't drinking with them. For me it's Live and Let Live ... but I do what I need to do to not drink. Sometimes that involves avoiding unpleasant / unnecessary social situations (if possible). They usually don't miss me and god knows I don't miss hanging out with people getting sloshed. I've got a lot more pleasant things to do with my life.
You might try telling them the truth, That alcohol is destroying your life and that your trying to quit and that you don't like them pressuring you to drinking with them. It's been my experience that when people know the fact they're more understanding. Bob.
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Work like you don't need the money
Love like you've never been hurt, and
dance like no one is watching.
Good for you Tipsy!! When I first got sober I was working as a bartender..(I know I know but it was good $$$)...I had alot of people that wanted me to drink with them. I finally started telling them they didn't have enough money to buy the booze that would keep me happy once I started drinking and that seemed to make them stop and think about it.
You're right Bob, the truth would have ended the pressure that was being put on me at the moment but sometimes people who don't have an understanding of AA and alcoholism are unable to see a persons decision to be a part of it as a "positive" thing. What they hear is "I have a drinking problem. I'm a messed up alcoholic" instead of "I have had a drinking problem for a long time and finally I'm doing something that's helping me and will make me a better employee and a better person"... I don't want to have to worry about my decisions and performance at work being second guessed or my financial situation being jeopardized because of someones ignorance regarding addiction and recovery. I have financial obligations and I'm sure that you would agree that my success in AA is more likely if I have that silly little luxury called food.
So bob, next time you feel the need make unprovoked attacks on someones character by questioning their ability to be honest you might want to think it through before posting it and looking like a sour, cynical, bitter, little pricked doofus
It wasn't my intention to question your honesty, I was merely sugguesting a course or action to cease the pressure of your employer and coworkers to make you drink. I had a simalar problem where I worked as the boss and most of the emplyees would have an in office happy hour right before quiting time and I had always been keen to take part. I let all know that I was on the wagon (Iwas in outpatient treatment and not attending AA yet) and had no more problems, of course they were probably relieved that Bob the drunk was not drinking and wouldn't be making an ass out of himself anymore. By the way if your going to post on an open forum you can't expect that everyone reply will meet with your 100% approval. If my previous post offended you I apolgize. Good Luck. Bob.
-- Edited by cooncatbob at 23:25, 2005-11-03
__________________
Work like you don't need the money
Love like you've never been hurt, and
dance like no one is watching.
god bless u wagon
