But I have zero confidence in myself that I will stop.
I didn't think A.A. would work for me so I signed up to see a shrink. I made up my mind that I would do whatever he said because I was sick and tired of being drunk all the time.
He didn't tell me what I wanted to hear. He said he couldn't help me with my drinking because he wasn't an alcolhoic himself but if I was really serious about not wanting to drink anymore, I should go back to A.A. and give it an honest try.
I haven't drank or used drugs since.
One of the things I learned when I started to listen was that none of this is about will-power and confidence in myself.
Hi TM, If you are an alcoholic of my type, you are beyond human aid. We on this site don't have the power to fix you but we can help you to find the required power, a power greater than you. You need three things, honesty, open mindedness and willingness. Next you need to ask yourself some questions:
1) Have I had enough? Am I beaten, is King Alcohol my master?
2) Do I want to stop and am I willing to go to absolutely any lengths without any reservations whatsoever?
When you can honestly answer both these questions in the affirmative without reservation, then you will be in a position to start work on your recovery.
Jerry F posted a telling comment on your white board. A change of attitude as reflected in your sign in would be significant.
Mcstagger,... rrib and Fyne Spirit are right ... Start with 'total' honesty and stop lying to yourself ... follow this up with action to join AA's way of life ...
You are now receiving the consequences of your past actions ... the consequences of working the steps of AA are sobriety and a beautiful new way of life ... your choice ...
The solution is in front of you ... "Do or Do Not --- There is No Try!" -Yoda
God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
My favorite sober happy funny lady always says that even after three decades sober she is as desperate as ever to stay sober. People in recovery that are able to stay stopped say that they ceased fighting anyone and anything. I had to be desperate to want to be sober and then take the first step fully and completely, by seeing and admitting fully that I, by myself could no longer control the drinking or not drinking. For most in AA, it has to get unbearably uncomfortable and incomprehesible in some way. Paradoxically only then, totally a mess mentally, filled with anxiety, suicidal, was I ready to follow direction and do something different than what I've always done- which was to do the life thing, deal with issues, have FUN(not really anymore) by drinking.
Welcome back. My first sponsor was a real hard liner when it came to "AA", a great advocate for both "AA" and recovery respectively. He was an "old timer" who always spoke his mind, regardless.
He also had a knack of pointing out the obvious, even when it hurt. He would say such things like: "Alcohol is a quick fix to nowhere" and "Alcohol has many faces, but only one victim", to name a few. He would poke holes in anyone's story just to see they're reaction. And he did this for himself, not others. His intended victim had always been his idle yet repulsive mind, the one that got him into trouble time and time again.
When his mindset changed, everything else changed as well. He didn't feel detached or defeated any longer, but felt humble and forgiven once again. This dramatic shift in attitude caused him to change everything about his new way of life, and how he approached sobriety as a whole. It fueled his desire to change above all else, and has lasted for over 20+ years now -thanks be to God. And I hope it can for you too, starting today.
If you get the itch to drink today, don't fret...you're not alone. Take a deep breath and shift your mindset elsewhere. Don't be distracted by the idle mind, keep focused on recovery and pray for the best. Allow this forum and "AA" the privilege of your undivided attention, as you embark on a sober campaign that will pay many dividends over the long haul, guaranteed. We'll be here to guide you "TM", every step of the way. We promise...
~God bless~
-- Edited by Mr_David on Sunday 13th of November 2011 03:36:33 AM
When i was done fighting for control with alcohol and admitted utter defeat , i took the first step towards a life rather than a living nightmare , i hope that you do too , soon .
I've proved time and time gains that I'm a weak willed, disgustingly selfish person.
Sooo...now what
Will power doesn't matter if you are powerless over alcohol as alcoholics are. You need a power greater than youself to help you with your problem, the fellowship and program of AA helps us find a HP to solve our problems.
If self will worked, everyone would be sober. The fact is, your Higer Power is currenly a alcoholic that can't help much.
Take care,
Rob
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
It'd be productive if TM would revisit his own thread.
You know TM's MO is to post and either receive sympathy or stir up crap ad then disappear for a prolonged period of time, he's been doing that here for years.
Since he periodocally deletes his account it hard to tell how long he's been doing it.
I've been here since 05 and he was here then, he used to get really angry and curse everyone out before he'd leave in a huff.
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Work like you don't need the money
Love like you've never been hurt, and
dance like no one is watching.
What TM dont realize is this is life or death, he knows we are there for him but it feels like he just uses us when hes drunk and feeling sorry for himself. However I used to be just like him and without you all accepting me back everytime I know I wouldnt be sober and productive today so I guess we just wait til if and when he returns...
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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
