I have been a dry drunk for a long time. I have also survived more things that I care to write about. It is not a bottoming out for me; I think I surpassed that...
Simply, now it is about making the right choices for my family. I am a single-parent, single income mom with 3 children. There is no more room in my life to take any risks on losing my income over stupidity.
I am trying now to be clean of all things, beginning today.
Congratulations on your choice to "be clean of all things, beginning today", and welcome to MIP. Hopefully you will hear something here that you can use along your path. I have been clean and sober but a few short months, but one of the things I have learned is that the alcohol and drugs and putting them down was the easy part. Once I no longer had them to hide and mask my feelings, I got the opportunity to feel them, good, bad or indifferent. Sometimes that is a good thing, sometimes, not so much. For the first time in my 52 years of life, I am learning who I am. What do I believe? What do I hope to accomplish with the remainder of my life? It has turned into something very simple. I want to continue to learn to listen to my Higher Power within me, my soul, if you will, and to have that spirit guide me through my days. As I am slowly learning to do this, my life has become infinitely better, good, bad and indifferent alike. There will always be all of these in my life, but how I react to them and let them affect me is up to me. I admire that you are determined to provide for your children, and are aware that if you drink, you will be incapable of doing that. Being a "dry drunk" doesn't sound like a life I'd want to live, for me it means I still practice all of my old behaviors without the alcohol to drown them. Surviving things that happen to us or situations that we create in our drinking is one thing, learning to forgive them is harder. And learning how to forgive ourselves is the greatest challange of them all. I wish you much luck on your journey, and hopefully at some point your desire to remain sober for the sake of your children will flow into a desire to stay sober for the sake of yourself. You are worth it. Peace
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I asked God for all things that I may enjoy life. He gave me life so that I may enjoy all things.
glad you shared with us. this is not a " self help program" . we can do what i cannot. welcome home! keep coming back. looking forward to hearing more from you.
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****** Life only happens once, this is not a rehearsal!"
Welcome to the MIP board! We have all had our dry-drunk spells, getting back to the basics of the AA program always helped me.
The more we resemble the ideals we set for ourselves in our Character inventory, the more we like ourselves and the ideal of drinking/dry drunk slips futher from our minds.
Keep coming back..
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
Welcome, you are not alone. I have experienced several "dry drunks"(untreated alcoholism)since I have been sober. I am grateful that my Higher Power allowed me to see the direction I was going and the behavior that I was exibiting at those times, at which it did become objectionable to me. The principles(12 steps)did not change so I was able to get back on track "one day at a time". Thanks for sharing and Keep Coming Back!