Honesty

Phil · MIP Old Timer

Honesty

Kenny · Member

"To be dishonest is to be partly feigned, forged, fake, or fictitious."

I have a question for everyone?

Do you feel that emulation is dishonesty?

I don't mean in the quest for that person's acceptance or any others acceptance of us.

Simply emulation, based on admiration, seeing that example, and longing to have more of that in yourself.

I see a person who I look up to in life & slowly begin to pick up some of their body language, mannerisms, etc...

Many times it is sub-conscious, but then I notice that it becomes a part of who I am.

The alky in my head views, and questions this..."Now that's a suprise." lol

We see this phenomenon so often in the rooms, especially with newcomers.

How do you all feel about this?

Phil · MIP Old Timer

Hi Kenny. I guess the only thing that I can share on this one, is Honestly saying' If its positive, its ok--if its negative-its not.

And then theres the thing about, accepting myself exactly the way I am, and not trying to be someone Im not.

Then, theres the people pleasing thing--I think they want me to be this way-so changing into someone Im not.

I do know, that if I hang around squirrels long enough--there are going to be a few chestnuts missing:)

I guess theres a line there somewhere,.... do I wanna just be me? or do I wanna be the actor, like I used to be?

Hang with the negative? Drags one down.

Hang with the positive? Keeps one up.

Dont hang anywhere? Moss starts to grow.:) Just my thoughts.

And Im here, cause Im not all there.:) and never will be.

rosie light shines · MIP Old Timer

fantastic post, phil...i like that!! and the "if it is positive to emulate?? ok, if negative??? no"....i was wondering the smae thing.....i think as long as i am NOT losing me?? than i am ok, but we coda's have to watch that we don't become the other person to be acceptable......i don't mind seeing someone with a way to do something and wanting to emulate it if it helps/ nourishes me....anything else i would get concerend about......smiles/ rosie

GammyRose · MIP Old Timer

Kenny , I think when I first came into the rooms, AA and Al-anon, I did grab on to certain people and try to follow their lead. You always hear people say when you are looking for a sponsor, find someone who has what you want. The first sponsor I had was so serene, it was like if you got close to her the serenity just rubbed off of her. I had never been around that type of person so that's what I wanted most.I learned so much from her, my second sponsor was totally the opposite, no serenity what-so-ever, but she was a grateful recovering alcoholic. I may of became them for awhile, but today, I'm me, I'm exactly who my God intents for me to be, and He will continue to work on me, daily. Is it dishonest to learn a new way of living, acting, growing, staying sober, I think not.

To be honest I've learned as much from negitive people as I have positive people ,and I've learned how to stay sober from the one's who can never seem to stay sober.

Thanks for the question. Have a great sober day.

(((Hugs)))

GammyRose

Doll · MIP Old Timer

Does

"If you spot it, you got it"

apply here.

I believe it does for me.

Doll