I remember going to a meeting once. There was only 3 of us there. Two 'old-timers' and me. I was new, everything was a struggle, riding an emotional roller coaster. So I sat in this meeting and talked about how I was feeling. Driving past the liquor store made me think of drinking. Going to the grocery store was ... well I'd get the the beer isle and be stuck at the end just staring down the isle.

So this one old fart threw two dollars at me and said 'Here, you wanna drink I'll buy you your first one!'. All I could think was FU jerk!

This feeling didn't go away real fast for me. I kept going to meetings (regardless the old farts) every day. Did the things that were suggested - steps, sponser, more meetings, talk, listen. 

And then, I forget exactly how long it had been - less than a year, but one day I came to realize that I couldn't remember exactly when the last time it was that I felt that compulsion to be drunk. I don't claim to know what part of the program finailly started to work for me. Maybe it was the fellowship, maybe the spiritual, working the steps, keeping busy. Maybe some of it or maybe all of it. Or maybe I'd just finally dried out enough.

Doens't matter. Point is, it feels pretty good when it does happen. So I think I should pass on to you what then nicer people told me while everything was a stuggle ...

"Don't leave the day before the miracle happens!"

Hi and Thank you so much for your kind words.... I really appreciate the support.... I am keeping on, keeping on.... One day at a time...

From your post you are doing a lot of things right and yet you don't seem to happy with your progress after 9 months of sustained effort. Apparently the limited statistics about AA comings and goings indicate that a lot of people drift away between 90 days and 12 months. It is sometimes thought that these folks move on because nothing much is happening for them in terms of the spiritual progress we strive for. My experience is and was that the most exciting time in sobriety is the first two years. This was because many miracles occurred for me, many changes in my personality, my eyes were really opened to this new way of life and above all I had begun building a relationship with God. That's the short version, but you get the idea, great things were happening beyond my understanding. I was 22 when I came in and, according to the doctor, not likely to get past 23. When I came in I got a sponsor and that man, God bless him, took me through the steps within the first 90 days. Not quite the four weeks they used to take the steps in when they had 75% recovery rate, but fast by today's standards. That was over 30 years ago and I ain't had a drink since.

About two years ago I met a young man who also came to the fellowship at age 22 and in the short time I spent with him, I really identified, he was just so similar to me in many respects, and very genuine in his desire to get sober. What I didn't know was that his sponsor hadn't done the steps, in fact never got past 3. So Will's progress with the steps was at a snails pace, his sponsor and others in that group telling him "it's not a race, your not ready for 4th step etc". Will was doing everything that was asked of him, attending loads of meetings, service, assemblies etc but the steps were taking way tooooooo long and of course Will didn't know it. One of the things I realted to with Will was the 'cloud of doom" that would descend out of no where in early sobriety. The steps fixed that for me, but Will was regularly in the cloud and after two years of doing everything that was suggested, he was no better, so one day the cloud of doom descended and he left us.

So now when I hear someone unhappy with their progress, the first thought is how are they getting on with the steps? We seem to be given this window of opportunity (and willingness) WOW to enable us to get through the steps and acquire that effective defence against the first drink, and that defence seems to be in place after step 9. But we don't know when the window might close so there is no time to waste. The steps were meant to be a simple and straightforward undertaking which could be accomplished in a short space of time with the help of a sponsor all the way through. Once learned of course they are adopted as a way of life which usually brings about long term and worthwhile recovery. The most common barriers to spiritual progress seem to be around 4&5 and 8&9, but I try never to forget that I was willing to go to any lengths including these steps. The BB is very clear on the likely consequences of avoiding these steps.

In my experience, recovery comes as the result of the steps, not the other way around, and, as another wise member put it when asked how fast should you do the steps? "How fast do you want to recover"?

God bless,
Mike H.

Even I would agree 9 months is plenty of time to get well into the steps.