Looking for perceptions from the MIP AA family. A day ago I gave away a case or two of cold ones after I went thru the lessons and steps of my recovery. Renters left a property I manage just like it has happened before. They left alot of trash including bags of empties...beer and hard and I recognized the old odor I use to carry on myself during the drinking days. I was given the contents of the pantry and the icebox and freezer and the icebox was beer and like aways my head commiserated. I believe it will never ever be different. The justifications of not pouring it out or throwing it away, the sneaking "it's only beer not a big thing after so many years alcohol free", "Hey some of this is imported worlds' famous Pilsner, wonder what that taste like compared to San Miguel Larger"..."I never drank this crappy LITE stuff...such a waste!!" and maybe one or two more. My head still seems to think that this is "foodstuff" and should not be thrown out...that comes from my family and a Catholic upbringing and why I never dumped one that I can remember and so I found a neighbor to give it all to and he jumped at it and took it all home and I have now a remorse. I know he is a drinker. I don't judge him alcoholic and the maybe's have latched on to my butt...that I could be or might be wrong and might have enabled a situation toward getting worse. I'm second guessing my actions and intentions and telling myself I should have dumped it all in perplexed hindsight.
Part of the disease is still walking around; that part that holds alcohol in high esteem along with old justifications for keeping it around and circulating. I was one of the guys that never let a party run out of booze. I need to settle on a final mind set and behavior rather than this remorse. I'm hanging around and taking notes. This house is a training field I just know it.
There is a huge difference twix giving away the program and giving away left over booze. I like the former.
Hey Jerry F, We alcoholics second guess just about every move we make! Honestly, your action of giving away the booze will not change that guys alcohol habit, it just saved him money. If he is a drinker, and its drinking night, he will have that booze and plenty of it. I guess as we get into different situations, we learn to take different actions. Next time, you will probably dump out the booze, but this time, give yourself a break--and congratulate yourself for not giving into "the beast"! Tom
__________________
"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
Thanks for your share. You're right about one thing Jerry, the disease of alcoholism is still out there, even today. The only difference between us and them is simple really; we have a program while others do not.
I went to my friend Barbara's anniversary today with the intentions of sharing part of my story with others. God had other plans though, and for good reason. The story her sponsee told was so heartfelt that everyone began to cry. In fact, her story was so close to mine, that it became rather personal. I actually thought my disease was front and center once again. She was a precious reminder of how insidious alcoholism really is and the all too real circumstances that surround our lives every day. Needless to say, it was a message everyone needed to hear, especially for me. The moral of her story was simple; don't take anything for granted -ever...
She gave away all that she had in an instant, just to spend one lonely night romancing her next drink. A drink, she now regrets. She was well aware of the potential dangers her actions could cause, yet she still decided to drink anyway. Here's the kicker; her husband -who was the inspiration behind her getting sobering in the first place, died...while on the way to pick her up. He was hit, by you guessed it, a drunk driver. How ironic. That was her wakeup call -unfortunately, and a day that is now etched in her memory forever. Her life, that at one time showed so much promise is now marred by the all too surreal circumstances surrounding her husbands death, and the sad but distant memory of a day that was like no other.
What has this got to do with your situation? Simple really. She gave away the program for the sole purpose of drinking, and you gave away the booze for the sole purpose of living. You made the right choice Jerry, so be proud of that. You can carry the message, my friend, but you can't carry the drunk -Plain and simple. Remember, you can bring a horse to water but you can't make them drink. What you can become Jerry is a shining example for us to follow, for the newcomer and others alike. That, my friend, is just what the doctor ordered, just in case that other person does indeed need help.
But for now, all you can do is to remain sober yourself. You did the right thing, my friend, so take it all in stride and keep connected. And of course, be on the lookout for any opportunity to carry the message. Because when you do, you save another lost soul form the grips of active alcoholism, for today. That, my friend, is the program in action -for sure.
~God bless~
-- Edited by Mr_David on Saturday 1st of October 2011 05:04:15 PM
hi Jerry, it was the committee trying to work your program for you, but Tom is right. all you did was save someone some money. maybe your neighbor will eventually realize he has a prolem and ask you how you got sober. a good way to introduce someone to AA is when they realize they are sick and you aren't. second guessing is in our nature, maybe we miss beating ourselves up as much as we used to, eh? keep on keeping on. your side of the street is clean, you are doing the right thing, and sharing helps all of us. take care, jj
