Hi there! I was hoping that I could get a little feedback on something, so here's my situation... Every time I go to and from a certain meeting I always pass by a homeless man who is always drunk but is very nice and always waves at me as I ride past him on my bike. Tonight I saw him asleep at the bus stop and since it was about to rain I decided to see if the 7-11 sold cheap umbrellas. I bought a $5 umbrella for him and left it next to his 40oz with a note inside that just said "There is an easier way of life. Hang in there!" and I wrote the phone number to my areas intergroup and put a couple of quarters in there so he might hopefully be able to use a pay phone to make the call if he decides to. I made sure that I didnt write anything on there about God or AA because I know that I didnt want to hear anything about that when I was still out there. I know that most alcoholics arent fortunate enough to make it into the rooms so im not going to hold my breath if he chooses not to make that call but I really hope that he does. The problem i'm having is that im getting this wierd feeling that Im trying to play God or something by interviening is this man's life. Also, Im not sure if by making this gesture, if im promoting AA and trying to lure him in with a present if that makes any sense. I dunno, but I didnt want to ask anyone that I actually know because its not something that I want anyone to know because I dont expect like a pat on the back or anything. I just wanted to do a nice thing for a still suffering alcoholic and let him know that there is another way. Can anyone lend some feedback or suggestions? Thanks in advance!
I think that was a generous thing to do, and you should feel good about it. I certainly wouldn't consider this going over the line as far as "promotion" at all. All you did was make him aware of the existence of AA and give him the phone number, he had to make decision to call (or not call) and subsequently attend a meeting, and you weren't pressuring him to do so.
You reached out to someone who needs help with the message 'There is an easier way of life.'
I wouldn't call that promotion. I'd call it 12 step work.
As I understand it, promotion means things like radio and tv ads. I can just hear them; "This weeks sobriety special - 7 meetings for the price of 4. HURRY! Before they fill up!"
Some towns that might not run a hot-line put meeting times/places in the local paper with the church listings. Most people I've met wouldn't call that promotion either.
-- Edited by rrib on Sunday 11th of September 2011 11:27:38 PM
You reached out to someone who needs help with the message 'There is an easier way of life.'
I wouldn't call that promotion. I'd call it 12 step work.
As I understand it, promotion means things like radio and tv ads. I can just hear them; "This weeks sobriety special - 7 meetings for the price of 4. HURRY! Before they fill up!"
Some towns that might not run a hot-line put meeting times/places in the local paper with the church listings. Most people I've met wouldn't call that promotion either.
-- Edited by rrib on Sunday 11th of September 2011 11:27:38 PM
So true...great job of carrying the message philly. Keep up the good work.
I never met another member of AA including myself that was good at second guessing and so I learned to go with the first thought, intention and action and left it at that. The program helped me to do alot of research on the "will of God" where I eventually ended up admitting that it was to love others as I loved myself. That allows me to understand what you did and why. I can't go any further with it than that. It is 12th step work.
Pat yourself on the back and murmur "Thank you God for the opportunity work a Serenity Prayer."
Keep coming back with that great support. (((hugs)))
Thanks alot for everyones advice. I think im realizing that I can make simple things very complicated. I especially liked what Jerry had to say about not second guessing. I think that when I start doing that is when I start trying to figure out what Gods will is instead of just doing what I truly believe is the right thing to do. My experience so far has been that that first thought that you mentioned is the right answer because Im not overanalyzing it or making it more complicated than it needs to be.
Beautiful work, and great job being an instrument of God. WAY TO GO!
This reminded me of a humorous personal experience I had though, that I'd like to share...
One rainy evening I was driving home and spotted a homeless person getting drenched in the rain. I'd seen this man before on the same corner, and on a whim decided I would try to help him. I pulled the car over and ran his way, with umbrella in hand. The guy took one look at me and started screaming and running away! I think he thought I was trying to assault him with the umbrella! I yelled, "Wait, I'm just trying to help you! Take the umbrella!" But he kept going. I was so perturbed because I really wanted to do something nice for the guy...and he refused my help!
I learned a few things. ONE- you can only help someone who wants to be helped. TWO- there are millions of different perceptions of a single situation- I saw him in the rain and assumed he was miserable in the rain, but maybe he LIKES the rain. Maybe he likes being left alone and doesn't want strange people chasing after him at night. THREE- sometimes when we want to "do good," we want to do so for our own selfish reasons more than the sincere concern for others... My desire to do good in this case was to make ME feel better, or to perhaps absolve guilt about how I've ignored homeless people before, etc.
Anyway, I like what you did, and hope the man decides to get sober! Peace, Heather
