I am sad over a relationship in AA, and it hurts and my stomach is sick and I would usually go get a drink, but I have no desire to do that. I know the worst is that.
Just wish, I could be loved by this man, or just loved. I havent had a relationship in 9 years and I feel like a kid and a failure
Welcome to "MIP". There is a time and season for everything, Samantha, including love. When it does happen, you'll know. If this person isn't ready to make that commitment, then just let it be. If it was made to happen, then it will. If not, maybe this person isn't right for you. You sound like a very loving person Samantha, which as you know, will make someone very happy someday. It might take time dear, so give time just that, time...
Hello and welcome..if you are referring to the fourth dimension(page 25 of Big Book,Alcoholics Anonymous 3rd Edition))kind of general idea is it is a dimension of our physical,mental and spiritual and emotional states are all in harmony and balance with each other and comes with total surrender to our Higher Power and disciplined practice of our 12 steps. Bill W talked of his White light experience...An author William James wrote bout Varieties of ReligiousExperiences"(can Google and see what thats about,INTERSTING READING)Yes we are a spiritual ,not religious program but if you look back into the history of our fellowship(Frank Buchman and the Oxford group and other history) you'll see many ties to christian dogma eluding to some religious references. here and there......Hope this helps ,if you don't have the Book Alcoholics Anonymous,you can google Alcoholics Anonymous World Services and download the book and any other info..I was a little confused on your topic(what is fourth dimension) and then your share so I replied to both.....
I see that you have been in sobriety since January of this year and that is truly a miracle,congratulations.I can only suggest making meetings,hopefully having a sponsor and are sharing to the best of your ability .Once we put down the substance ,we start not only the healing,but also facing life on lifes terms in a lucid ,aware state and it is at times painful.As we apply the principles of the Steps in our lives and share our pain we reenforce our ability to move forward,a day at a time remaining free from active addiction of alcoholism but facing all the 'isms" of our illness.Remember also that for years we may not have really loved ourselves so it takes time as Dave says. My most favorite spiritual readings talks about this (Ecclesiastes 3:3) A time for everything...In 1965 thr Byrds recorded TURN,TURN,TURN,(im sure you have hummed that once or twice)using lyrics from the writings......I have also played that song in a few different bands In God's time things will happen.Stay strong,keep working,day at a time,as long as you dont pick up you have a chance..Keep coming back okay WE are here for each other, REMEMBER ALSO WE WILL LOVE YOU UNTIL YOU LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF ,THATS A PROMISE!!!
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Those are just feelings. And credit yourself you are dealing with them sober. Having a relationship is easy. Having a GOOD relationship is a challenge. I came into AA on a harsh break up and have had a couple since being sober. At this point, I know I'm gonna be okay regardless of my relationships.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Hi Samatha, welcome to MIP. The 4th dimension of living is the 12th step. It's a spiritual awakening. Unlike Bill W. our co-founder who had a sudden awakening, most of us have what is called the educational variety, as described by the AA book.
It's little experiences over a period of time that help us: 1. Change our character. 2. Build our faith in God, as we see God do for us what we cannot do for ourselves.
I was always a person who wanted short term quick gains, until I started working the AA program. I have never done anything for any good length of time. But I have remained sober & sane for the last 23 years.
As Mr David stated, there is a season for everything. Use your current season to do the things that are easiest & nearest to do. As we take these baby steps we are in less danger of stress, & we do not burn up unnecessary energy.
Sam, Like the others have said, growing in sobriety can be painful at times. For me it was like going through adolesence, learning to accept the things that life throws up like rejection. Like many I had strong instinct for security well out of balance that lead me into some emotional scrapes. I really thought I needed to be in a relationship with someone to be complete but when I tried to make this happen, it never worked. My sponsor used to tell me that when I was ready, when I stopped looking and when I was least expecting it, somone special would come to me. He was absolutely right, although it took a while. Relationships in AA can be tricky, although the big book seems to encourage them in a way, it is careful to point out that this is not something for early sobriety. I think they use the term "boy meets girl on AA campus" It has been my observation that couples in this category start off fine but always grow at different rates thus creating tension. One of our oldtimers has a saying " The odds (of getting into a relationship in AA) are good, but the goods are odd.
TranSamSam - Something to the 4th Demension... God (your higher power) lives there and it's His will, not yours. Often enough, we don't understand it... we just have to go with the flow. It hurts and that's important for you to feel. We usedd to hide that hurt in alcohol or mind altering substance. Now we turn our will and lives over to Him.
Please pray. You will get what God knws to be right for you... I have been in your shoes. It was 9 years before I found the right one but when she came along, I knew in my heart, by God's grace, I was given the soul that loves and trust me in this life and I hope into eternity!
thank you Mr. David: He calls and says he feels bad, and that we will always be friends and he needs a foundation for himself and for someone else too. He just needs to take care of himself right now. So, Ive given it to God...He doesn't know it but I am going to marry him and we are going to grow old together.. God gives us the desire of our heart and that's just all there is to it
thank you Lance, I only want Gods will in my life..I turely beleive he wouldnt have brought this man into my life if he wasnt suppose to be in it. I just do....I am glad you have Gods gift in your life...you gave me hope and strength. Blessing to you also
I am sad over a relationship in AA, and it hurts and my stomach is sick and I would usually go get a drink, but I have no desire to do that. I know the worst is that.
