Hi, i am rajeev an alcoholic, as i did 1-9 steps as in big book of aa now to do 10, 11, 12 i want some suggestions, coz now no obssesion to drink but my biggest blocks are as am married i have sex relation with a widow, i masterbuate daily, smoke regulaly, tape 2 diabetic, no exercises poor life style, wastes time money energy foolishly.
How about just changing one or two things at a time?
First off, quit cheating on your wife. It's dangerous and just wrong. Unkind to both her and the widow. Stopping this will be a big step away from selfishness, which is often an alcoholic's biggest problem.
Then get just a little exercise. Just taking a walk is good enough to start.
__________________
Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's, and unto God that which is God's.
'Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.'
To me, spiritual growth is about being OK within my own skin and finding the wilingness to reach out and help others.
It took me a LONG time to begin being really OK in my own skin and it's still a work in progress. One of the roadblocks to getting there is substituting other obsessions (sex, gambling, overeating, nicotine, drugs) for the obsession to drink.
There a lots of things that can help: more meetings, go early/stay late, work with a sponser, volunteer work might include manning the hot-line or the central office desk or attending meetings at a local hospital or jail. There is always a need for people to fill the roles of meeting chairperson, treasurer and G.S.R. Even helping to clean the meeting rooms can help overcome the obsession to constantly dwell on your own self.
I'm listening to rrib and nodding cause that's close to how my sponsor worked it with me and I'd like to add that going back to step 7 on a daily basis helps get this taken care of real good if you get the humble (being teachable) part of recovery. Spiritual growth comes with practice, practice, practice of spiritual principles. (((hugs)))
How about just changing one or two things at a time?
First off, quit cheating on your wife. It's dangerous and just wrong. Unkind to both her and the widow. Stopping this will be a big step away from selfishness, which is often an alcoholic's biggest problem.
Then get just a little exercise. Just taking a walk is good enough to start.
Amen...Sounds like good advice to me.
-- Edited by Mr_David on Saturday 10th of September 2011 09:46:00 PM
My suggestion: at the first link below you can download a 4th step inventory sheet. Do the character defect and sex inventory as prescribed. Work on the top 2 or 3 defects first, and on your idea for future sexual behaviour.
From the 2nd site you can download the BB guide to steps 6 and 7.
www.royy.com
www.bigbooksponsorship.org/downloads
As rrib and the BB page below states, through your efforts into service and helping others.
I'm surprised you can still see the computer screen given all the mastrurbation
From pg 70 To sum up about sex: We earnestly pray for the right ideal, for guidance in each questionable situation, for sanity, and for the strength to do the right thing. If sex is very troublesome, we throw ourselves the harder into helping others. We think of their needs and work for them. This takes us out of ourselves. It quiets the imperious urge, when to yield would mean heartache.
__________________
Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
Rajeev, your accent is thick, I can hear it straight through your words. If we are practicing other addictions, we are not going to receive the full benefit of working the steps. Congrats for getting sober and staying sober. This is a gift and one that we can not keep if we are engaging in dishonesty and hurting others. What I did was put cheating on significant others, on the list, as a relapse. Not that it counts against my sobriety, but just the same. These kinds of behaviors can take us back out and drinking. That's why I associate it with relapse. To thine own self be true.
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Saturday 10th of September 2011 10:24:12 PM
The 12 steps is not a course, it's a way of living. It's not to be completed, it's to be lived daily. I wanted to complete the steps when I came to AA. Being always goal orientated I never could understand the spiritual dimension that the AA book talks about, until I sought the help of my sponsor.
Upon careful reading of the AA book, I realised that after every step something wonderful happened. The 1st step brought serenity & peace, because of a realisation of my inevitable condition. Knowledge of the disease was what was lacking before I came to AA. That being understood thoroughly, I moved on in little steps, thereafter.
Today life is a journey, much of which needs to be experienced. I could never have done that from where I was many years ago. Step 6&7 taught me that God will use whatever circumstances that is given to me, to train me & build me into a new human being. Finally in the 12th step, a spiritual awakening, a profound alteration of my character, not brought upon by myself but by God Himself. All I did was submit to the authority of the 12 steps, in duress at first & then in peace & submission.
I like what it says on the front forum page-- " God, I offer myself to thee, to build with me and do with me what Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do Thy will."
We are really selfish creatures, instant gratification being high on the list. These are all things that can be set aside and released, if we are willing.
If I am willing to make changes, my higher power will help me. If I am not honest with others, and continue to hurt them by my selfishness, eventually that guilt is going to have me right back where I began. I hope you have a sponsor to help you with this.
If we are practicing other addictions, we are not going to receive the full benefit of working the steps. Congrats for getting sober and staying sober. This is a gift and one that we can not keep if we are engaging in dishonesty and hurting others. What I did was put cheating on significant others, on the list, as a relapse. Not that it counts against my sobriety, but just the same. These kinds of behaviors can take us back out and drinking. That's why I associate it with relapse. To thine own self be true.