Please welcome me back, the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. I will have 3 days tomorrow (July 23rd) Been to 2 meetings in 2 days. 1st was a mens meeting todays was a small meeting. Sharing my honest story with them. I dont know why I keep going back out. Ended up blacking out and having cops called twice in a month. today was hard cause there was a bday party at work and the office went to a bar but I told them i was done and stuck my ground and didnt go. I am done talking about it though and am going to get my ass in gear and work the program. Prayers please and thanks. I will try to update here everyday after my meeting(s).
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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Good to see you back Steve. It took me 5 years to get to the point of complete surrender, so I know your not alone. Keep going to meetings, GET A SPONSOR, and start working the steps. Not in a few weeks or days, start doing it NOW. The steps are the only thing that worked for me and countless others, they can work for you too, but you have to get a sponsor and jump in with both feet. My prayers are with you my friend.
Brian
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Nothing ever truly dies. The universe wastes nothing. Everything is simply, transformed. :confuse:
I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
You're right, the only requirement for membership is a desire
however that is only a small part of the requirement of getting and staying sober, which requires real, measurable, pen to paper, butt in seat, ears open, mouth closed, doing what we did, going where we go, stop bullshitting yourself and others, as in absolute honesty, open minded and willingness, willingness without action is fantasy, so -to quote Bill W,
"enough willingness, honesty and humility to establish and maintain the new order of things, were the essential requirements. Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid. It meant destruction of self-centeredness."
The door is there, it's up to you to reach out and turn the knob, no one else can do it for you, it's actually really easy, once you are actually done beating yourself into a pulp and decide you -really- don't want to any more, I remember I -thought- I did, I woke up every day and said to myself "I have to quit drinking" but I ....didn't really want to, I wasn't ready, I remember the day I said to myself "I don't want to live like this any more" and it was different somehow, now when that window of willingness opens it's my experience the clock starts ticking, like a bomb, and I only have "x" amount of time to do the necessary work in order to remain sober, do it while the window of willingness is open, and nothing could make me drink, sit on my ass long enough and nothing could keep me sober
one of these times when you are beat to shit and decide you are done, do something about it, take some action, otherwise it's just more of the same, and no, meetings dont work for you, human powers dont work for you, just having Jesus doesn't work for you, everything you have tried doesn't work, maybe it's time to try something different.....like what is suggested...steps, sponsor....you know the drill...and no not here, not an online sponsor, a -real- sponsor
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it's not the change that's painful, it's the resistance to change that is painful
Thanks everyone, day 6, been staying busy.. work and meetings and getting things done. Reading the big book, lots of praying and actively seeking a sponsor. Have some rough times during the day where I think a drink sounds good but then I remember all the bad things that happen and I am sick and tired of it so it passes and I thank my HP and move on..
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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Remember, it's actually prettty simple: keep away from one drink (the first one) one day at a time, get to meetings, work the steps with a sponsor. If you do that, you will stay sober. And remember too, pick up the tools instead of a drink: when you have drinking thoughts, get on the phone to another alcoholic and/or get to a meeting.
Quick update, 8 days today.. work, meetings, spending quality time with my son, staying busy, ordered a new metal detector that just arrived, figured it would be a good hobby (the only one that pays itself back lol) thanks again for all your support and prayers.. one day at a time..
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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Glad to hear things are good Steve. Personally, just a piece of my story, after i finally got to the point of wanting sobriety more than anything else it took my less than 2 days to find a sponsor that was willing to work the steps with me. In this case, I still have the same sponsor, but I know many people that at least started the steps with someone right away before "waiting to find just the right sponsor". In almost all your posts in the past you were gung ho at first, but it never seemed to last. Not trying to be an a$$ here Steve, but what are you going to do differently this time? 90 in 90 is fantastic, but it means nothing without including the steps in there somewhere, and usually it's better to start sooner rather than later. As they say, "If you have decided you want what we have and are WILLING to go to any length to get it, then you are READY to take certain STEPS"... up to you.
Brian
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Nothing ever truly dies. The universe wastes nothing. Everything is simply, transformed. :confuse:
11 days today, found a temp sponsor (lives far away) but hes taking me through the steps and I am grateful to have that until I find a local one. Still keeping busy, hitting meetings, praying a lot, find myself thinking less and less about a drink each day... I realize thats the disease trying to trick me though so I have to remind myself what happened before when I relapsed and what will happen again... I heard if I put the same amount of time thinking about how much a drink sounds good to remembering what always happens when I drink that it will help me and so far it is working along with working the program the best I can.
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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
