I'm learning that for a variety of reasons, I've spent much of my life focusing on form rather than substance. My focus has been on having my hair done perfectly, wearing the right clothes, having my makeup applied perfectly, living in the right place, furnishing it with the right furniture, working at the right job, and having the right man. Form, rather than substance, has controlled my behavior in many areas of my life. Now, I'm finally getting to the truth. It's substance that counts. --Anonymous
########ROSIE..i was ALL about apprearances, in the past!!!! i remember when i got a job working for the state a *decent* paying job for the first time!!! i went nuts buying clothes and hair sylists for my hair.....i was gonna be the *best*.....i wanted to fit in with these people.....i had a good facade, becuz i felt if they knew the *inner me* they wouldn't find me so attractive......i had no substance....how could i??? i had no ME!!!! like "who WAS that girl???"
There is nothing wrong in wanting to look our best. Whether we are striving to create a self, a relationship, or a life, we need to have some solid ideas about what we want that to look like.Form gives us a place to begin. But for many of us, form has been a substitute for substance. We may have focused on form to compensate for feeling afraid or feeling inferior. We may have focused on form because we didn't know how to focus on substance.
######ROSIE...for me, now, i keep myself in shape, my clothes are cute/ tidy/ clean....i am not such the fashion horse that i was , but i still like to dress nice.....hygeine was always and will be always important to me...i would rather be late for work than miss my morning shower......NOW i am working on the INside of me....the OUTside always looked great!!!! now??? the focus is on the INside.....that is where i got hurt so bad....that is where my recovery begins and goes till i die!!!! i was so feaful of being *inferiour*....now i don't care!!!! i love/like me...God loves/likes me my people who COUNT love/like me......so i am ok......the more i work on my *inner substance* the more people respond to me in a positive way........substance is the focus now!!!!!
Form is the outline; substance is what fills it in. We fill in the outline of ourselves by being authentic; we fill in the outline of our life by showing up for life and participating to the best of our ability.Now, in recovery, we're learning to pay attention to how things work and feel, not just to what they look like.Today, I will focus on substance in my life. I will fill in the lines of myself with a real person - me. I will concentrate on the substance of my relationships, rather than what they look like. I will focus on the real working of my life, instead of the trappings.
######ROSIE...yeah, like what is INside this athletic/ strong little body of mine????? whats inside the head with the luxurious/ thick/ course blonde hair????? that is important to me now...what i am thinking...what comes out of my mouth....i am trying to be more watchful as to what i am thinking/ saying now.....put brain in gear before i step on the gas pedal of my mouth!!!!! i want to know WHY i feel/ react in a certain way, so i can do a step 4 on it.......as i get older, mending my *spiritual fences* is more important to me now......coloring within the lines of me now.....and the meaningful relationships in my life now.........yes, WHO am i ??? WHAT am i????? what do i need to keep??? modify???? change????? flat out dump???? about me/my character......thank God that is where i am at now!!!!! thank you....DONE
