At 1st I thought they did not, because I did not believe in them. My relapse convinced once again that I needed to look at them earnestly, because I could not continue living the way I did.
The book answered my question. "Most of us have been unwilling to admit we real alcoholics." BB pg 30. I made it personal: "I am unwilling to admit that I am a real alcoholic." Why was I unwilling? Because I did not understand fully what was wrong with me. If I don't know the problem then the solution is not going to work for me. Hence the steps don't work. Therefore I will keep relapsing until alcohol kills me.
On my re-entry into AA, I took my AA book & studied it & asked questions & sought everyone until I found a sponsor who forced me to work the steps.
Every single person on this board with -long term- sobriety has done them, most more then once
The ones that don't tend to not stay sober, they drunk within hours, days or weeks, or in some cases after years of miserable "white knuckling" where they suffer acutely and also cause everyone around them to suffer since they are so caustic
there is confusion caused by the "hard drinkers" that come to AA to quit drinking that do -NOT- need to do the steps, pretty soon they are sharing their experience, strength and hope, sponsoring newcomers who strangely enough can't stay sober, because the hard drinkers are trying to give away something they don't have, the very thing this entire program is based on, one -alcoholic- talking to another, one -alcoholic- being able to get a newcomer to -identify- as an alcoholic based on the Big Book up to page 43, with step one being on Page 30
If you have no experience with "The Problem", can't indentify yourself or another based on experience viewed through the first 43 pages, and haven't had the spiritual awakening as the result of the steps, it's .....Martin Luther King jr said it best:
Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity
Do the steps work?
Absolutely, every time, if worked thoroughly with a competent sponsor with no reservations I have never seen the steps fail...never
This doesn't mean I haven't seen people return to drinking due to a variety of reasons, failure to clean house daily, not an alcoholic, lost the first step etc ad nauseum, but the steps work, humans are fallible, the most often quoted reason for people returning to drink after being sober is "I stopped going to meetings", this indicates it was the meetings keeping them sober, a human power, I have dozens upon dozens of friends that no longer attend meetings all in their mid twenties of sobriety, all with happy contented sobriety, because they used the steps and the spiritual awakening raather then the meetings, this isn't to say I personally found meetings indispensible for a great many years, I did, they were part of the deal, but reliance on things human will get us the same result every time
__________________
it's not the change that's painful, it's the resistance to change that is painful
Seriously, not only do they "work", but they transform, renew, salvage, bless, instruct, direct, guide, whisper and shout, and otherwise become a way of living that assures a way of life that is worth living. I think the steps work me!!
Not everyone with long term sobriety has worked the steps and I was dumbfounded to learn this in my short 6+ yrs of being sober. I am blessed with good sponsorship, have worked the steps, and continue to work them every time I sponsor another gal, or looking at them every day and applying them to myself.
Yes, of course they work, but only when I choose to work them.
From my experience the 12steps are the only thing that work when everything else failed when I became willing to do anything to the best of my ability and only I knew when that point came and called upon the God of my understanding to help me I have not had a single drink since, I tried about everything else nothing else work. Today I am happier and more peaceful then ever, I got 7months on the 11th of this month I wouldn't of dreamed of that a year ago. Thats how you learn by asking questions so feel free to ask more anytime. I hope I helped.
Not everyone with long term sobriety has worked the steps and I was dumbfounded to learn this
Yes, of course they work, but only when I choose to work them.
When I initially got sober, everyone I met was an alcoholic, I stayed sober for some years, went out for five years and when I came back, AA had gotten "trendy", there were many people who were attending AA purely for social reasons, or for group therapy, or because their therapist sent them to use AA as a "support group" and many of these people are still around today, touting all their years of "so-dry-ity" and attempting to sponsor newcomers, and generally spouting off like they know something because they haven't had a drink in XX years, when the truth is, they aren't alcoholics and never were, they went to AA to fill that void like we drank to fill it
It's sick and sad and dangerous to our newcomers, singleness of purpose is lost, yet when the old timer stuff is read about having to identify as an alcoholic to get sober, and any group of ALCOHOLICS can call themselves a group provided they have no other affiliation (this and the long form tradition three stating you must be an alcoholic to be a member rather then the misused short form of three) there is an uproar about how "cruel" and "rigid" and "hardcore" that is, and how AA should be open to everyone, and we have a large part of the recipe for why AA only works for XX% of the people that walk through the door, so many mixed messages now (instead of our singleness of purpose) and alcoholics die because of it, which personally to me is the true cruelty, is alcoholics coming to AA for help and not finding it, but instead of being at a meeting of alcoholics anonymous they are at a group therapy meeting where people talk about their problems, their day, and their feelings, any of which would be appropriate with step based solution or a plea for help because I am going to drink, but instead we have emotional cripples leading group consciences and forming groups with no primary purpose and blah blah blah and alcoholics die blah blah yawn snore
kinda sick and sad really
-- Edited by LinBaba on Sunday 17th of July 2011 12:52:20 AM
__________________
it's not the change that's painful, it's the resistance to change that is painful
Not everyone with long term sobriety has worked the steps and I was dumbfounded to learn this
Yes, of course they work, but only when I choose to work them.
When I initially got sober, everyone I met was an alcoholic, I stayed sober for some years, went out for five years and when I came back, AA had gotten "trendy", there were many people who were attending AA purely for social reasons, or for group therapy, or because their therapist sent them to use AA as a "support group" and many of these people are still around today, touting all their years of "so-dry-ity" and attempting to sponsor newcomers, and generally spouting off like they know something because they haven't had a drink in XX years, when the truth is, they aren't alcoholics and never were, they went to AA to fill that void like we drank to fill it
It's sick and sad and dangerous to our newcomers, singleness of purpose is lost, yet when the old timer stuff is read about having to identify as an alcoholic to get sober, and any group of ALCOHOLICS can call themselves a group provided they have no other affiliation (this and the long form tradition three stating you must be an alcoholic to be a member rather then the misused short form of three) there is an uproar about how "cruel" and "rigid" and "hardcore" that is, and how AA should be open to everyone, and we have a large part of the recipe for why AA only works for XX% of the people that walk through the door, so many mixed messages now (instead of our singleness of purpose) and alcoholics die because of it, which personally to me is the true cruelty, is alcoholics coming to AA for help and not finding it, but instead of being at a meeting of alcoholics anonymous they are at a group therapy meeting where people talk about their problems, their day, and their feelings, any of which would be appropriate with step based solution or a plea for help because I am going to drink, but instead we have emotional cripples leading group consciences and forming groups with no primary purpose and blah blah blah and alcoholics die blah blah yawn snore
kinda sick and sad really
-- Edited by LinBaba on Sunday 17th of July 2011 12:52:20 AM
I agree with you, totally. When the focus on singleness of purpose became less and less, some of the AA meetings lost their effectiveness in reaching and holding alcoholic members. The AA Grapevine is just as guilty and after over 15 years as a subscriber, I cancelled my subscription about 7 years ago. Let the others support them! At any rate, we can't just go in a corner and let our fellowship be taken completely over. As long as we share our es&h, and remember that THE program of AA is in the first 164, they can't take it all away from us. Keep posting the truth and keep coming back!
-- Edited by soberbytheGOG on Sunday 17th of July 2011 02:16:19 PM
