i know this is an aa help website but i have a question relating to xanax. i just went through a difficult breakup and needed something to ease the pain. Instead of pounding shots of vokda, i ddecided to swallow almost an entire bottle of xanax. At first i felt great, but when i fell asleep i slept for almost 2 days straight. My two questions are:1: are there any long term side effects of a one time use of a huge amount of xanax and 2. does anyone know th best way to overcome the pain of losing someone that means everything in the world to you?
The only experience I can give you is with alcohol and the pain of losing someone you think is the world. I divorced after 23 years of marriage. It was full of chaos and drinking but boy oh boy did I love that man. When he took the time to give me a little bit of love I would think I was the luckiest woman in the world. It was abusive and full of drinking. I decided to start a divorce to wake him up....Guess what....it didnt and I went thru with it with a broken heart. I was happy tho because I had the best excuse in the world to abuse myself with alcohol. After a few years of greiveing and drinking I had my 2nd dui. A wake up call.....By the grace of God I found AA and sobriety. My point in all this is.......Once I got away from the relationship with a sober mind I could see it for what it was. It was good at times but it was killing me most of the time. Made me a person I wasnt. Any kind of relationship that would make you take a bottle of xanax is not a healthy on in my opinion. Relationships that are hard and hurtful are not the ones we need. I know your hurting, I have been there. But now when I look back I am the one who kept me there hurting instead of moving on and growing. I cant tell you anything that will take the pain away right away. You have a chance to follow a journey that has been laid out for you. You can stay right where you are and wallow in the pain or start to take one step at a time and move towards personal growth. I Pray for your peace because I truly know how much it hurts. But take if from someone who came out of that pain and living a life I never knew was possible. Its there for you too! Peace mjl103
Hey Mike, what I sorted out, was that the other person wasn't causing my pain, I was. I had placed too much of emotional security, self esteem, self worth, plans for the future etc... on that person. A huge responsibility, if you think about it. And my dependency on that person didn't have a lot to do with them. If it wasn't them, it'd would've been someone else and had, in the past, been others. I realized that I felt the same way (badly) about this person, who was no longer in my life, as I did several others. How could that be? When I think about my friends, I feel differently about all of them. Very differently. Once I grasped that, It was freeing, as it wasn't all about that person, it was about my insecurities and the way I went about relationships. I couldn't rely on the other person for happiness, it had to come from within. That took some work. I stayed out of relationships for a few years, got to the bottom of my core issues. Learned how to be happy with myself, before deciding to spend some of my spare time with someone else.
You guys are unbelievable. For someone to take the time out of their day to write such lengthy and heartfelt responses really gives me confidence that there are genuinely good people out there. AS a young pre med college student, losing what i thought was the love of my life made my challenging coursework nearly impossible. Thanks to your advice Im heading straight to the library to get my life back on track. Although I know its dangerous, ill leave my cell number here so that you can feel free to contact me with any sort of issue and i would be honored to give my honest opinion to try and help you anyway possible. May god bless you both and I wish you nothing but geniune love and happiness for the rest of your lives.
I'll answer question number 2 first. It is hard to let go of someone who means the world to you but time will heal the memories. Accept that you are hurt and be thanful that once upon a time you have loved each other truly. The best way to really move on is to forgive and be happy with what you had. Consider it as a good memory to inspire you to move forward in life. Cry if you want but after that, live your life the way you deserve. Furthermore, it is not good to depend on drugs for you to feel better. Healing my friend comes from within. I found a good link that talks about Xanax: <removed>
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Friday 5th of August 2011 08:15:26 AM
That's one of the biggies I had to learn in my own recovery...the part of someone doing something that hurt me and then I in turn doing something to finish the job. A bottle of Xanax is not a proper or reasonable dosage. For me all of the post drinking lessons I got about suicidal ideation helped immensely. Lucky to be alive is truthful and maybe a bit of an under statement. Hope you now have a phone number to a very good psy md.
I'm so glad you had the courage and strength to share with us and I hope you'll keep coming back. We need you, too! We are here to share our experiences, strengths and hopes with each other and I do believe that God works through each and all of us on our road to recovery. There's all kinds of good reading material here throughout the Postings and Replies and I hope you'll take the time to check them out once or twice!
I once heard at an A.A. meeting that " Suicide is a Permanent solution to a Temporary problem! " I will never forget these words. My precious husband passed away unexpectedly 9 months ago and I asked God for daily strength and courage.... I had already been blessed with 53-years of marriage and 33-years of sobriety for each of us.
Please ask God for Strength and Courage. I know it will work for you.
The person that needs to mean the world to you is YOU. You can love someone fully without placing them on a pedestal that is so high. No one person makes you or breaks you. She does not and did not "mean everything in the world" to you. Keep it in persprective. It's going to hurt a while, but trust in God or whatever higher power you have to know that you WILL be okay.
Next time you ever think about hurting yourself in that way, remember that suicide is a permanent answer to temporary problems.
You really will be okay. We have all loved and lost.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
The person that needs to mean the world to you is YOU. You can love someone fully without placing them on a pedestal that is so high. No one person makes you or breaks you. She does not and did not "mean everything in the world" to you. Keep it in persprective. It's going to hurt a while, but trust in God or whatever higher power you have to know that you WILL be okay.
Next time you ever think about hurting yourself in that way, remember that suicide is a permanent answer to temporary problems.
You really will be okay. We have all loved and lost.
