been dealing with this a while and have seen my self fall into this behavior and would like suggestions on this and on how not to act like this and how to deal with others (or not) who hve these issues.
just want to hear if there are different tools...thanks.
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knowing that you dont know everything is knowing everything you need to know.
Hi Carey ... I'm not sure exactly what passive agressive behaviour is though I hear folks use that term a lot. Whatever it is, I'm sure at least one of my personalities behaves this way.
FEAR OF DEPENDENCY - Unsure of his or hert autonomy & afraid of being alone, he or she fights his or her dependency needs - usually by trying to control you.
FEAR OF INTIMACY - Guarded & often mistrusful, he or she is reluctant to show his or her emotional fragility. They are often out of touch with their feelings, reflexively denying feelings they think will "trap" or reveal them, like love. They pick fights to create distance.
FEAR OF COMPETITION - Feeling inadequate, they are unable to compete with other people in work and love. They may operate either as a self-sabotaging wimp with a pattern of failure, or they'll be the tyrant, setting themselves up as unassailable and perfect, needing to eliminate any threat to their power.
OBSTRUCTIONISM - Just tell a p/a person what you want, no matter how small, and they may promise to get it for you. But they won't say when, and they"ll do it deliberately slowly just to frustrate you. Maybe they won't comply at all. They block any real progress they see to your getting your way.
FOSTERING CHAOS - The p/a person prefers to leave the puzzle incomplete, the job undone.
FEELING VICTIMIZED - The p/a person protests that others unfairly accuse them rather than owning up to their own misdeeds. To remain above reporach, they set themselves up as the apparently hapless, innocent victim of your excessive demands and tirades.
MAKING EXCUSES & LYING - The p/a pertson reaches as far as they can to fabricate excuses for not fulfilling promises. As a way of withholding information, affirmation or love - to have power over you - the p/a person may choose to make up a story rather than give you a straight answer.
PROCRASTINATION - The p/a person has an odd sense of time - they believe that deadlines don't exist for them.
CHRONIC LATENESS & FORGETFULNESS - One of the most infuriating & inconsiderate of all p/a traits is their inability to arrive on time. By keeping you waiting, they set the ground rules of the relationship. And their selective forgetting - used only when they want to avoid an obligation.
AMBIGUITY - He or she is master of mixed messages and sitting on fences. When he or she tells you something, you may still walk away wondering if he or she actually said yes or no.
SULKING - Feeling put upon when he or she is unable to live up to promises or obligations, the p/a person retreats from pressures around them and sulks, pouts and withdraws.
A passive-aggressive person won't have every single one of these traits, but they'll have many of them. They may have other traits as well, which are not passive-aggressive.
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Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..
Gotta say that Phil is pretty incredible with his resources! Thanks Phil, your reply gives a great deal to ponder. Kinda think that a lot of us alkies must possess a lot of that passive/agressive behavior, at least, I can sure see a lot of me in there.
Watch out for us passive/agressive types, cause we won't confront you directly if we feel that you have offended us. We will back away from confrontation, then go to work gnawing away at your ankles!
Watch out for us passive/agressive types, cause we won't confront you directly if we feel that you have offended us. We will back away from confrontation, then go to work gnawing away at your ankles!
OH! So that's what passive / agressive is! Yep .. I got that.
