Good rant Steve and a great reminder of who makes up the AA fellowship.  I came into the fellowship thru the doors of the Al-Anon Family Groups and came with a lesson from an elder sponsor reminding me that the people in "recovery" come from broken places including myself...so when I cop out to a resentment I know that it cannot happen without my permission and participation and that is what I work on...my part in it.  Even my home meeting which I co-founded turns into gathering of geese at times and then I was also taught to remember all the times when it doesn't...perspective and to use gratitude for it being there in the first place.  There are all kinds of personalities in the fellowship including mine and since it is progress rather than perfection and principles before those personalities and none of us are saints....you get what I mean...use tolerance, patience, understanding and compassion...or leave or speak up to it or give the fellowship a Steve lesson or?

Keep coming back  

I sort of get it....but don't like it or agree... It's just another way of saying after the first drink, all bets are off or it's off to the races....blah blah. If the saying works for him fine. The only real problem is if he says "this saying comes from the big book...." and it doesn't.

pinkchip wrote:

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I sort of get it....but don't like it or agree... It's just another way of saying after the first drink, all bets are off or it's off to the races....blah blah. If the saying works for him fine. The only real problem is if he says "this saying comes from the big book...." and it doesn't.

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 I'm with you, I was obviously joking before, but what this does is completely remove the mental obsession from the equation of alcoholism and make it strictly a physical allergy, which -is- the case for certain -non-alcoholics- who drink alcoholically, we've all seen these people, they aren't alcoholics but they aren't very good at drinking, sloppy drunks even, but they can -take it or leave it-

The BB actually says the exact opposite:

These observations would be academic and pointless if our friend never took the first drink, thereby setting the terrible cycle in motion. Therefore, the main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than in his body. If you ask him why he started on that last bender, the chances are he will offer you any one of a hundred alibis. Sometimes these excuses have a certain plausibility, but none of them really makes sense in the light of the havoc an alcoholic's drinking bout creates. They sound like the philosophy of the man who, having a headache, beats himself on the head with a hammer so that he can't feel the ache. If you draw this fallacious reasoning to the attention of an alcoholic, he will laugh it off, or become irritated and refuse to talk.

Once in a while he may tell the truth. And the truth, strange to say, is usually that he has no more idea why he took that first drink than you have. Some drinkers have excuses with which they are satisfied part of the time. But in their hearts they really do not know why they do it. Once this malady has a real hold, they are a baffled lot. There is the obsession that somehow, someday, they will beat the game. But they often suspect they are down for the count.

How true this is, few realize. In a vague way their families and friends sense that these drinkers are abnormal, but everybody hopefully awaits the day when the sufferer will rouse himself from his lethargy and assert his power of will.

The tragic truth is that if the man be a real alcoholic, the happy day may not arrive. He has lost control. At a certain point in the drinking of every alcoholic, he passes into a state where the most powerful desire to stop drinking is of absolutely no avail. This tragic situation has already arrived in practically every case long before it is suspected.

The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.

The almost certain consequences that follow taking even a glass of beer do not crowd into the mind to deter us. If these thoughts occur, they are hazy and readily supplanted with the old threadbare idea that this time we shall handle ourselves like other people. There is a complete failure of the kind of defense that keeps one from putting his hand on a hot stove.

The alcoholic may say to himself in the most casual way, "It won't burn me this time, so here's how!" Or perhaps he doesn't think at all. How often have some of us begun to drink in this nonchalant way, and after the third or fourth, pounded on the bar and said to ourselves, "For God's sake, how did I ever get started again?" Only to have that thought supplanted by "Well, I'll stop with the sixth drink." Or "What's the use anyhow?"

When this sort of thinking is fully established in an individual with alcoholic tendencies, he has probably placed himself beyond human aid, and unless locked up, may die or to permanently insane. These stark and ugly facts have been confirmed by legions of alcohoholics throughout history. But for the grace of God, there would have been thousands more convincing demonstrations. So many want to stop but cannot.

So Steve, if you want, next time someone shares this tidbit of wisdom, read out of the Big Book, it's in Chapter Two, "There is a solution", and I would state outright, This is a dangerous idea to be blabbing around meetings, I have even seen people interrupt peoples shares to read out of the book, now admittedly when I saw this happen my first thought was "this person is a control freak" but by the end of them saying what they had to say, as in this statement is breaking with the Traditions, because it goes against the Tradition where the primary purpose of a meeting is to carry it's message, and it's message is found in the book, and states that alcoholism is malady of both mind and body, and this clever little saying is the exact opposite of that, if he wants to found his own program, or even his own meeting, "the first drink is optional" club, far out, but if continually shared this bullshit at a meeting I was a regular member of I'd read that following passage every time he spouted that nonsense and make it clear to newcomers that clever little cliches were NOT AA, because the message we carry HAS to have depth and weight, and that first drink optional bullshit has neither

 

Thanks all for the discussion and some great suggestions on here.

While I'm not the type to interrupt there's nothing wrong to be very clear in my own sharing that what's said in the BB is there for a reason. The thing is, when someone is putting around a slogan like "the first drink is optional, the second drink is compulsory" they by definition have not actually worked the first step, whatever they may say. Cause I think that that first step is very clear indeed that that first drink is not at all optional to a real alcoholic.

I fear that where this has all come from is that folks hear literally thousands of slogans these days and I guess that some others think that it's clever to try and come up with a few themselves.

As has been said above by RainS, slogans sure as heck don't keep us sober and thinking that it's all about slogans can sure get us drunk again.

I like Joe and Charlie on this stuff, how the insanity isn't what we do when we're drunk or the phenomeon of craving, the insanity is the thinking that tells us it's OK for us take that first drink, that defencelessness against the first drink.

Kind of like those guys you hear saying that "alcohol was my drug of choice". Again, well intentioned, trying to show that "hey alcohol is liquid drug" etc. Again, not AA: on this very point I heard a great one on a speaker tape where the guy expressly refutes that line by saying "alcohol was my drug of no choice."

Steve

Too true.

I myself, steam at the "just don't drink", "willpower" type of parroting.


For pity's sake, if I could have "just stopped drinking" on my own, do you think I would be in AA?

Would you? The world is full of people who can "just" not drink.


They are called Non-Alcoholics. Sheesh.

Thanks...Steve for the topic.

The say in my home group: "the first drink is too many and a thousand is never enough". I wonder why? Maybe, because they're right. There was someone else who once said: "I think about having a glass of wine with dinner on occasion, then I remember, I have plans for christmas". So true...The first drink may be optional, but the second one might also be deadly. So, Why go there????????

-- Edited by Mr_David on Friday 24th of June 2011 03:02:09 AM

I always thought is was easier to ask for permission than it was forgiveness ??? Oh well ....

Steve, I can relate to what you have shared. I remember hearing things in meetings and repeating themself in other meetings cuz I thought it was right and I wanted to be liked. In early sobriety I had started hanging around some ppl who seemed 'popular' and I wanted so badly to be like them, and I got caught up in their little 'clique'. Well, I ended up breaking away from that and have never been better off since ...

My sponsor has always told me that I can go right ahead and step on someones toe's if necessary , but only if I can back it up with the Book. And to never critisize or attack someone during a meeting, only outside, after the mtg. I have done this before, but not often.

I use to get so angry hearing the crud spread around at meetings. I use to attend this one particular meeting at our local hospital where the local detox patients would attend ( the detox house has since been closed ). I felt so sorry for these newcomers. They were crying, bruised and beaten, they wreeked of booze, and they really needed help. Well, the ppl who chaired and ran the meeting were SO immature and touted crap that wasnt in the book, etc, etc, blah blah blah, and I felt embarrassed that these patients had to see;/experience all of this. AFter the meeting Id go home and call my sponsor and tell her about it .. Id be angry too. After she listened to me rant and rave for about 30 minutes, she would ask, 'Lori, who keeps you sober?' and Id reply, 'Well God does', and she would say, ' well what makes you think God isnt gonna keep those detox patients sober then too?' hmmm, she made me think and my sponsor always had a way of making me think. She is good! And I love her dearly.


What I do now, today when Im in a meeting and I disagree with what is being shared. I pray, ask God to help me speak from the heart and help someone. I do the best I can to share what MY esh is , and not to argue. If there happens to be a new person I will give them my number after the meeting, ask if they have a BB , if they dont, I'll get them one gladly, and then I pray for the new person.

It is sad, I know some of the junk that is being spread around today in meetings is very misleading. Its to bad we cant just get back to the 12 steps in the mtgs instead of what it has become. And have chairperson who will keep the meeting on track/topic is always helpful as well.