"We emphasize setting our house in order because it brings us relief."Basic Text p. 93

Focusing on what others are doing can provide momentary relief from having to take a look at ourselves. But one of the secrets of success in Narcotics Anonymous is making sure our own house is in order. So what does "setting our house in order" mean, anyway?It means we work the steps, allowing us to look at our role in our relationships with others. When we have a problem with someone, we can take our own inventory to find out what our part in the problem has been. With the help of our sponsor, we strive to set it right. Then, each day, we continue taking our inventory to avoid repeating the same mistakes in the future.

#####ROSIE....i had no sense of self, so i had in the pre recovery days nothing to look at...and what i saw of me??? i couldn't STAND!!!! plain and simple, my abuser and his values were so deep within me, i hated me/ couldn't stand me/ so looking without was all i could do.......than came recovery!! and HAVING to face me....i did the step 4 with my eyes **wide open* at first i thought i was "too screwed up for help" i thought there was **too much damage to fix* and than the slogan **one day at a time* became **one injury at a time*......so keeping it simple i went through my step 4....in the first 10 to 12 months i ranted and raved about the perp and what he caused me to be!!!! i discharged all kinds of emotions...anger/outrage/grief/fear/ and i would go through the cycles like the seasons...when i thought i was in the **summer of my recovery* some more "leaves would turn" and i would enter another autumn of my recovery....so it went!!!! when i got, finally, to the deepest layers of my pain/grief...i realized something!!!!! i was still unable to love me!!! the most basic thing of all and i was POWERLESS!!!!! my sponser talked me into making a casette and/or cd with all kinds of affirms in my own voice...loving me!!! at first i gagged trying to do it!!! saying all that **i love me* stuff **i accept me* stuff....but then after hours and hours and weeks and weeks of listening to it...i am learning that i CAN that i DO love me and i accept me!! AS I AM!!!!!! i am OK as i am!!!! now it seems i draw better circumstances in my life....being alone doesn't bother me so badly, cause i can **hang with me* if there is noone to do anything with.....in fact i enjoy my company now.....

It's pretty simple. We treat others as we would like others to treat us. We promptly make amends when we owe them. And when we turn our lives over to the care of our Higher Power on a daily basis, we can start to avoid running on the self-will so characteristic of our active addiction. Guided by a Power that seeks the best for everyone, our relationships with others will surely improve.Just for today: I will set my own house in order. Today, I will examine my part in the problems in my life. If I owe amends, I will make them.