I just joined. I want to stop drinking. I drink once a week but know no moderation and often drink to excess. I spend the entire next day obsessing about what I said, did, etc. It is not worth it to go through what I do but I still do it anyway.
I am conflicted with AA bc while I know I need a place for support, but I am not religious so that aspect won't help me. I also do not feel I am an alcoholic, but I do recognize I have a problem and am on a slippery slope and want to nip it at the bud.
Welcome Heather.So glad you stopped in. Our only requirement for membership is "the desire to stop drinking..Think you said that ...Our 1ST STEP WE ADMITTED WE WERE "POWERLESS" OVER ALCOHOL OUTR LIVES HAD BECOME UNMANAGEABLE".First part powerless= do we drink when we don't want to? and also the driving force in out lives that is out of control(sound familiar)..Unmanageability=life is obsessed and compulsed over drinking,unmanageable areas in your life?
We are not a religious program but a spiritual one.You are free to choose any concept of "a Power greater than youself to form a firm base from which to move your recovery forward..Early on it can defoinitely be the group and it is a process in coming to believe ,it can be as simple as the Power that keeps you from taking that first drink.
You can learn about the illness,whether you are alcoholic and the solution that is offered .(most folks who aren't alcoholic don't usually show up here )Come on in from the storm,you have nothing to lose "and a new way of life" to gain..Stick around okay,there are many here who will share their experience ,strength and hope with you.
We offer the same suggestions,make a meeting,listen to learn,let people know you are new and share if you can ,identify with the feelings and try not to compare. Hope to hear more from,especially how your "first meeting went"...
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
I just joined. I want to stop drinking. I drink once a week but know no moderation and often drink to excess. I spend the entire next day obsessing about what I said, did, etc. It is not worth it to go through what I do but I still do it anyway.
I am conflicted with AA bc while I know I need a place for support, but I am not religious so that aspect won't help me. I also do not feel I am an alcoholic, but I do recognize I have a problem and am on a slippery slope and want to nip it at the bud.
You needn't be religious in the slightest to have AA work for you, don't worry about the word "God" until you get to the third step with a sponsor, this is a case of "take what you like and leave the rest" until your third step
OK, a few highlights
One: If you are -NOT- an alcoholic, then just quit drinking, that's what makes people non alcoholics is they don't have a problem with alcohol
two: You write "I don't feel I am an alcoholic"
it helps to know what an alcoholic is and isn't before one makes a decision, a competent sponsor can sit down with you and help you come to that decision (identify as an alcoholic or not) in about 20 minutes with a copy of The Big Book reading "The Doctor's Opinion" and Chapter 3 "More about alcoholism", until you "identify" as an alcoholic you can't work the first step, and until you work the first step the program of AA can't help, meetings are a good place to find out if you identify as well
We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself, step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition.
Though there is no way of proving it, we believe that early in our drinking careers most of us could have stopped drinking. But the difficulty is that few alcoholics have enough desire to stop while there is yet time. We have heard of a few instances where people, who showed definite signs of alcoholism, were able to stop for a long period because of an overpowering desire to do so.
A woman named Marty Mann came up with a sure fire test
Drink 2 drinks a day for ten days, that's 2 beers, 2 4oz glasses of wine, or 2 1.5 oz "shots" or mixed drinks, a non alcoholic can do that no problem, an alcoholic won't be able to, they will get drunk at least once if not more times, depending on how advanced the case is
Alcoholism has NOTHING to do with how much someone drinks, alcoholism has to do with what happens -when- someone drinks.
A woman is no more pregnant 3 minutes before she has a baby then she was 3 minutes after conception, it's just a little more apparent later on, the women who has been pregnant for three minutes doesn't get to decide to not be pregant just because she doesn't have a have a good working knowledge of what pregnancy looks like, any more then we get to decide if we are alcoholic or not, and the truth is, there are studies (this is true) that show the smarter you are, the higher probability you have of being an alcoholic, it's how intelligence makes an intolerable world tolerable is by drinking, the bas news is, since alcoholism centers in the mind, the smarter you are the harder it is to get sober, since smart people know everything and it's hard to let go of old ideas, and old ideas are what keep us drunk
Go knock a few back and get back to me in ten days, let me know how it went
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it's not the change that's painful, it's the resistance to change that is painful
Welcome Heather :D So glad you posted. A long long time ago I drank like you have described, but over the years my drinking progressed to the point of me becoming a 24/7 drinker. I do wish I had been exposed to A.A. back then, but I don't know if I'd have stopped. I do believe A.A. may have saved me from the last five years, or so, of insanity, pain, humiliation, etc... I and others suffered because of my drinking. Oh well, I got what I got when I was supposed to get it. :) And I am a very grateful, sober, alcoholic.
If you haven't been to an A.A. meeting yet, I do suggest you try a few. You don't have to do anything, say anything, or believe in anything. I do suggested you try to be opened minded. You may need A.A. and you may not. Only you can decide that for yourself.
Thanks again for posting and if you go, please let us know how it went :)
One of the fellas in my group had a chair as a higher power for the first six or so months. He said it was the only thing keeping him off the floor.
Maybe that sounds silly but it helped keep him sober for those six months while his mind, body and soul repaired themselves.
What he moved onto as a belief I can't remember but he is still sober (five years I think) and pretty happy with his world.
In any event the Big Book will explain it far better than I could and you will see in it that "the only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking". That's it. If you want to stop drinking we won't turn you away.
Hey Heather. Not sure what I have to say will help, but I will try. I was born and raised Unitarian Universalist which is about at liberal as you can get and still go to church. I was worried that AA would be super christian. In fact, my uncle went and he did convert to be christian....so I guess that further colored my impressions. Yes, there is talk of God, but it is not "religious" it is spiritual and "God" only is code for having faith in a power greater than yourself. I never knew faith was an essential thing to have in life. I didn't believe in anything but the power of Alcohol to get me drunk really before AA... Now I have my own faith and it is wonderful. I still don't consider myself Christian, but where I would have rather died than go into a christian church before, I welcome it now because it's just a place for me to pray and be close to my own spirituality.
So....there is nothing bad about going on a spiritual journey. You get to decide what to believe in and nobody can tell you who YOUR higher power is. As far as not thinking you are alcoholic....Many also go to AA and decide later they are alcoholic. Some go and a seed is planted. Whatever....the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. I have also heard it said that it is safer to think you are an alcoholic (even if maybe not) and begin a program of recovery than to possibly be an alcoholic and waste time wondering if you should get help while the disease progresses. Food for thought. Either way, welcome.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Don't give up on yourself -not just yet, because almighty God will have the last word just when we least expect it. What your going through can be reversed, only when the psychic change -that's necessary- does occur. You need to Remind yourself that there are people out there who have similar backgrounds and chose to self medicate at one time -by drinking, like you do- but now rely on support networks -like AA and this forum "MIP"- to help guard against the next drink -one day at a time. Remind yourself of how precious life really is, and to never take our next breath for granted.
This principle, that AA teaches, helped ease my pain over the years and might ease yours as well, so here goes: "The pains of drinking had to come before sobriety and emotional turmoil before serenity" -how true. Allow yourself the opportunity to talk with a certified professional or addiction counselor about your choices, in hopes of recovering from the pains of drinking -one day at a time. AA and this forum can help guide you through the process of recovery and become the support network that recovering alcoholics -like yourself- need, to achieve lasting sobriety. You can start your journey towards purposeful living and with the help of your higher power and the voice of AA; achieve lasting "sober" memories -one day at a time.
~God bless~
-- Edited by Mr_David on Saturday 4th of June 2011 02:09:53 PM
