Wendy, Well, Step One is the right place to be today. How many meetings have you been going to a week, a day? How is the sponsor situation, have you talked to her , gone out for coffee?
I have to work this program to stay sober, I have to work on the steps and I have to give what I have away.
As an alcoholic I have to do what is right for me. I went to see my husband in jail yesterday, they may be sending him in 2 weeks to the state treatment facility. He was very unhappy that they are keeping him here instead of sending him now, he doesn't like the jail, well , it was his choice to violate his probation, and now he will pay the consquences in their way, not his.You ask me once why I don't divorce him, I guess it's because I've been married two other times and I do love him, I know he is ill. If he chooses to get a divorce, so be it.
I also know that I'm attacted to men who are not good for me, so I guess I don't want to be free to make a mistake, that's my alcoholic mind. I know if I work on me, work the Steps I can live life on lifes terms and be sober, happy, being married to him or not.
I'm worth being sober, today I have peace, joy, no guilt about what I should of done. There is nothing today that will make me drink because when that urge comes I go back to Steps One, Two and Three, I talk to my Higher Power, I call someone in the program, and I post here.
I'm not a saint, just an alcoholic that's lived drunk and sober, I choose sober today.I'm glad you have too.