Two whole days have gone by and I feel pretty good. Sundays are somewhat difficult for me because it's my custom to meet up with my drinking associates and swill beer in whatever neighborhood pub we haven't recently been thrown out of. It's usually a very relaxing day and normally I don't get too wasted because my tolerance is extra high from my heroic intake of alcohol on Friday and Saturday...whew...it's really quite an exhausting schedule when you think about it.
Anyway, I made breakfast this morning for my girlfriend, waffles, scrambled eggs, bacon and kool aid (for some reason I want to eat everything in site) and it was nice. Other than feeling a little cranky from no cigarettes *I only smoke when I drink* I'm doing okay. I haven't been able to make myself go to a meeting, too ashamed to go slinking back with my tail tucked between my legs again...for now anyway.
But this site helps...I'm developing a fair amount of respect and appreciation for the people who post here.
We're always glad when someone returns with their ass full of arrows, show us that it still doesn't work. Took me 20 years from the time I first tried to quit to when I surrendered. Remember you can't save your ass and your face at the sametime. Which is more important to you? Good luck, Bob.
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Work like you don't need the money
Love like you've never been hurt, and
dance like no one is watching.
Yeah, I think I may allow myself to have the occasional sober cigarette...otherwise I'll be a homicidal maniac by Wednesday.
Seriously though, you guys have to admit that when you see some doofus continually phuck up and go out and come back all whiny and miserable time and time again you must think "what a loser"...I would. But I;m kind of a jerk that way :(
Tipsy, you'd be surprised how many of us would say, "Yep, just the way I did it too!"
Have you gotten to chapter 3 in the Big Book?....
Chapter 3 More About Alcoholism
"Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing."
Man! Is that EVER my story!!! MANY of us have had to come slinking back with our tail between our legs. It's a heluva a lot better to come back that way than to not come back. I sure thought I could control my drinking, and had to have it kick my ass several times over before I really got that step 1 finally pounded into my brain. Absolutely nobody else can get us to step 1. We have to get that one accomplished all on our own.
Wanna try something that will blow your mind? Line up a weekend hanging out with some non-drinking friends. Check out some activities that will not involve any presence of alcohol. There are likely AA sponsored or comunity sponsored "alcohol free" events to be found in your area, if you check their calendar. I'll bet you will be amazed on Monday morning, when you wake up feeling good, clear headed, and think, "Holy Crap... no booze, and I STILL had a good time!"
"taking someone else's inventory" hmm, yeah I do that a lot. I know it's wrong and I hate myself for it but when I'm down on myself about something I will often needle others about their problems. I am getting better at catching myself at it but projecting your own crap on others is a hard habit to break. For me anyway.
Lately I have been trying to do more sober activities. I've been golfing beerless, karaoke beerless and I almost never drink when I'm with my girlfriend. She isn't a big drinker and I don't like drinking in front of her. And you're right, I am often surprised by how much fun I can have sober. But that's usually because I have my next drunk scheduled in my day-planner already. I don't know how I would feel if I had no binge to look forward to.
Bob...are taking my inventory? Because it feels like you might be taking it just a little bit here:)
I'm only posting what I feel and right now that changes from moment to moment so if my intention to quit seems insincere to you I don't give a whoopdishit.
Two whole days have gone by and I feel pretty good. ...
Try to take it one day at a time. Each day that you wake up, tell yourself that "I am not going to have a drink today." Don't look too far forward. Just take it a day, or even an hour at a time. Once your body has rid itself of the alcohol you will continue to feel better. THe hard part will be the mental cravings. I am 18 days sober today and I feel 100 times better than I did when I was drinking. I still have cravings for alcohol, but I am determined to quit and find something to do to keep my mind off drinking. I have more energy now than I have in years and my relationship with my wife has greatly improved now that I have returned to the man that she fell in love with and married.
Don't give up. Many people have to try several times before they can stay sober. The important thing is that you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again if you relapse.
