There, I said it, yuk! The Big Book I hauled out and dusted off two weeks ago was found at a garage sale.... 4 or 5 years ago. I've skimmed through the odd page, but this last time light bulbs went off and I connected, also, I stopped beating myself up and realize I do not have control over this over glamorized substance. Like the old ads of the marlboro man with a cigarette. Eight of us were laid off last month, and for two days I couldn't stop bawling my eyes out. How am I going to pay the rent. When a friend i had met two years ago said just read the first 165 pages of the big book, I couldn't believe what I was reading. Having only slipped once, in the two weeks I found i had so much energy, not I couldn't sleep. I say the Lord's prayor, think of being envoloped in Michael the arch angel's wing , wh ile I try to sleep. AND, i try not to forget my 'greatful book' on my nightstand, and put at leat one entry in, what I was greatful for that day.
When I get to the step for amends, I don't want my ex back, he was manipulative and abusive, albeit it was almost 30 years. So, presently I am alone, and yes feel lonely, then I remember I'm not, God is beside me, and darn it, somehwere in all of this bleep bleep, there's gotta be a pony in there somewhere!!
I have read so many great stories here and the warm and acceptance is wonderful. Very uplifing. Thank you for listening.
Welcome Lauren27! You have entered the realm of surrender where the healing begins.....We always have same suggestions,don't use(drink),make a meeting,listen and follow suggestions and directions,learn about your disease and hopefully continue to show up to find a sponsor and get into "our" solution " the steps ,done in order with a sponsor,share as if you life depends on it(when you can) and take it a day at a time! We are here for each other all sharing our ESH(experience ,strength and hope)and what works and doesnt work that keeps us away from that first drink.Glad you joined us,stick around we need you....
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
You're amongst friends, so sit back and enjoy the company. The journey is worth it despite the hardships. AA and this forum have helped many ease the discomforts of life without drinking and you are now a proud recipient of this wonderful fellowship.
Welcome! I hope you get to some AA meetings and start seeing the book brought to life through the stories of others. It has been, for me, the key to staying sober. Congrats on taking a big step.
Welcome Lauren. I am an Alanoner from the other side. I go to AA meetings because there are no Alanon in my area. I too am alone after 30 years of marriage - going on 6 years now. MyAHsober hasn't drank in over 20 years but the "ism" is there. I do have low points and high points. I know that my HP has a plan for me. Keep coming back.
Thank you so much for the warm reception. Hey, Just Toni, you're in my prayers tonight. Rest up, and wrap that wing around you when you sleep tonight, it's all comforting. I have started to listen tp the 'Life' radio station, wow, great for teens too. I actually stuck through rap music 'jesus version'. My area is 101.3 Barrie, Ont. It was really easy listending and driving for almost 3 hours gettng home.Wonder how my daughter would feel getting her that rap c.d. I do really feel safe here, with what I can say, and feel. Thank you everyone. I am not afraid of constructive critism. Thank you all. This is a special weekend. God bless,
Hey Lauren! yes we have 'sound of Life" radio station up here also to tune into 89.7, music for all,especially younger people and teens,,DC TALK/JARS OF CLAY/CARMEN/NEWSBOYS etc. As a musician I can appreciate the message.I believe,for me, that you may not be able to reach today's youth with Peter,Paul and Mary per se(love em),but putting on something raucous with the message of loving God and your neighbor also so something kids can identify with is truly awesome.I have been called out on this a few times, but God and I know where I m coming from, and it is to God I send up my 'joyful noise"!!!Glad your here with us,have a blessed and productive day!
-- Edited by mikef on Friday 22nd of April 2011 06:10:25 AM
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
I was like you and found an online group first, way before I went to any AA meetings. I had a copy of the 12 Steps of AA I checked out from the library. An online woman insisted I visit an AA meeting and weeks later I finally did. Boy, am I ever glad.
I urge you to attend AA and work the steps with an AA sponsor. You'll see that you're a long way from the amends part. Best of luck.
Well I think I would prefer to put what I have to say in a Private Message (PM.).
Anyway dear there are really a lot of ups and downs in early recovery, finding a Sponsor would really help, you can also ask if anyone would be willing to be a Temporary Sponsor, in the middle of any meeting, raise your hand and ask, we have all done that...
ok over to the PM
So happy you have joined us here.
Sobriety is a wonderful gift from HP..I was reading John's Post, and how very sad and very true to life it is....
I have never felt anything but simple Gratitude to God for pulling me up and out of the gutter of this disease, did have a beloved friend go in the manner John was describing.......and to see a beloved friend go that way.....is so so heartbreaking.
Toni
toodles, Toni, and Thank YOU Lee, I guess it is not suppose to be easy....
but will trudge thru it, with HIS Help. Have you settled in to home with all those wonderful memories?
-- Edited by Just Toni on Friday 22nd of April 2011 02:14:46 PM
