It's our wedding anniversary today. I thank God that He spared us many years of suffering. Some of the sober years were very difficult and it nearly broke us apart, but we persevered with our program. We are now rich in experience and have been able to save many marriages. We found that the 12 steps of recovery work in every situation, if only we are willing to apply it's principles. My wife will get stubborn sometimes and refuse any form of recovery. I used to use my program to overcome those difficult times. Gentle prayer without quarrel was the best approach, and usually the difficulty would be overcome without saying anything. In my experience I have found that many quarrels with married people have no basis at all. For example: My wife would ask who left that there. I would say one word "Sorry." I have learned not to expand on this and it has saved me many headaches. I thank God for the storms because I really appreciate the calm now. Experience can be a valuable teacher if we let it.
Congratulations Gonee! Relationships aren't easy for Alcoholics. Your an example that we can have loving relationships if we apple the principles to our daily affairs. Valuable experience to pass on. I like the restraint of pen or tongue approach. I've found this allows others to be who they are and allows me to take care of the only person I'm responsible for.... me. Thank you for the post.
Really great post Gonee. That topic is pretty large right now in the threads and the situations are as varied as life itself. Prayers to all in that situation. I have got to tell you that one of the benefits to stopping early is that if you are not married young, you have the opportunity to have fixed many of your problems through the grace of your HP and the program before you even meet your spouse. I am so blessed to be in this category. Tom
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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
To Dean thanks, Just 29 years married today. Birthday & sobriety date different. Just to illustrate to newcomers that all this is possible if we keep on the program. My 2 kids aged 28 & 24 were so excited today. My daughter especially wished us twice. We have changed their lives totally just, by me being sober & my wife in Alanon. Thanks to all my online AA friends. You have made such a difference in my life and I become very close to you. Thanks, Gonee.
Congradulations Gonee!! Yowzers!! sober with an intact marriage and content family...I also know of only one way to that and that is the same as you have experienced. AA and Al-Anon under the God umbrella of our understanding...amazing journey and since it is so very far from broke...there's nothing to fix. Thank you God, thanks Bill and Lois and the programs from your efforts.
Happy Anniversary and nice post. I too have learned that you can win the battle but loose the war when it comes to day to day interactions (unless I'm in the mood to stir things up).
Reminds me of today's message in the 24 hour book...we should wear the world like a loose garment.
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
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