been so angry with someone in a relationship that you made a statement like "I might as well go drink!" just to upset them and get attention and to hold them hostage?
I was reading about this happening to someone on another board thinking how manipulative and lame it would be to ever tell your family or spouse that the way they treated you made you want to drink. Then I thought about it...
I did get angry and desperate enough to pull that tactic once at the break up of a relationship...I knew I wasn't going to drink and said it for effect...Not too proud of it.
Wondering if anyone else ever pulled that card. The whole "I'm going to relapse and it will be all your fault!" whether you meant it or not. The fact that I actually did say that when I had no real intention of drinking suggests the need for some serious CoDA work...Though it was quite a while ago...
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Oh yeah, been there, done that. Even carried out the threat by getting drunk too. My bad.
That was prior to suffering what I pray was my last drunk back in 04'. ( and 2 yrs of AA mtgs, in and out )
But, I have threatened to drink and blame it on my husband a couple times since 04'. Did I mean it when I said it? You bet I did, I was angry. Have I thought about how it was wrong and did it make me feel like crap? You bet it did. Did I promptly do a 10th step inventory? Yep.
Now, today I try like heck to pause when agitated or doubtful and ask God for the right thought or action. Not always easy to do .. as I suppose one of the hardest things Ive had to learn how to do and fail miserably at times is to keep my mouth shut!!
Thanks for sharing, and reminding me of what I DONT want to do.
I'm new and feeling my way around here, but early on in my sobriety I not only said it, I felt like I might. It seemed the easy way out ... just go drown myself.
And my husband, also an alcoholic but sober when I met him, said it to me early on. In both cases I don't think it was an idle threat, though ... I think it was a very real feeling that of "why even try?"
If I didn't have that little voice (higher power) in the back of my head reminding me about what would follow, there were times I would have done it.
I actually just saw a guy in my home group go through this the other week and drink ( and then cut himself to shreds, because he self harms literally when he drinks) and he said himself that after he'd threatened his girlfriend half a dozen times do what I want or else I'll drink, eventually after getting no reaction he felt like " Right, you don't believe me that I'm gunna do it, I'll show you" and then he busted, seventeen months of sobriety gone. So it does happen , but I wonder to threaten it in the first place, does the person already feel like a drink and they just look for an excuse ?
Kind regards Jamie
-- Edited by Jamie D on Saturday 26th of February 2011 05:16:29 PM
Hmmmm just recently shared in a meeting that "no one has the power to take my sobriety and serenity without my permission and help." I never needed a threat to manipulate or control my spouses by drinking. Using alcohol has never happened for me.
I know it was my standard MO to get drunk upon people making me mad or not getting my way before I got sober, I don't think I really threatened or tried to use it as leverage.
I related to the resentment thing right away.
Where I got sober, one of the first things I remember hearing was the "I'll show you, I'll hurt me" mentality that we posess.
They said, we are the only ones who can make us drink, and it's insane to go out and ruin your life and punish yourself because your not happy with a situation or the actions of others.
I know I went a little off topic, but it's late and this is what the subject brings to mind for me.
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
