I'm new to this forum, and now glad I have found it as this will be a simple tool for me to use on my way to recovery. I'm an active AA member, but this is just icing on the cake for me to do some pondering when I'm not at my local AA meeting. Can't wait to discuss future topics with you all!!
With that said, back to my headline, Drivers License appeal hearing. I just received my date, which is this Thursday and I'm looking for advice. This is my 1st appeal so I'm very nervous on what to expect. I know who I am now and more importantly how I got here. I will be representing myself, without a lawyer, and I'm scared they won't see the same person I see in the mirror.
I've been working the steps with a sponsor and up until recently my sponsor deserted me. This couldn't have happened to me at a worse time, but more importantly for him as an alcoholic. I fear this will have a negative impact on my hearing and will work against me.
I refuse to work on any of the steps that lie ahead of me w/o a sponsor as I feel this will give me false hope and I cannot fully trust my rationality with things. I'm hoping to have a sponsor by then, but I just don't want to go with the first guy that approaches me. I want to be more dillegent in my selection so I can maintain a sobriety that resembles my needs.
Anyways, I'm curious to hear some opinions on my appeal and what might be instore for me.
Has anyone represented themselves successfully in this manor??
Hi. I am a retired cop. Each state has widely different laws pertaining to drivers license issues. Regardless of anything you are told, you MUST find out what your state says. Your local library should have a state statue book in it. Generally speaking however, my advise would be for you to speak with someone at AA that you have a good gut feeling about, and explain the situation to them. Maybe they would be willing to go to court with you and act as a character reference? It can not hurt to ask. My only experience with DUI was years ago before the laws changed so much. However, when I was arrested, the State of South Dakota has a law on the books which enables Judges to give a one year stay of execution... It sounds like you have already been through that, and the reason I mention it is that there MAY be a law in your state that specifically deals with reinstatement issues... You have to find out. I will be glad to stay in touch with you on this.
Welcome to MIP nICK! iAM AFRAID i NEVER HAD AN APPEAL ,i HAD BACK TO BACK DWI'S AND IN nEW YORK STATE THATS AUTOMATIC FELONY PUNISHMENT.fORTUNATEY NEW JUDGE IN 2ND CASE(FLOOR COVERED HIS HOUSE) AND GOT FIRST DROPPED TO AN ai.tHAT WAS BACK IN LATE 70'S WAS STILL ACTIVE,LOST LICENSE FOR A YEAR,It really depends on state laws. good del on sponsorship,sounds like you got your head on straight.Good luck,let us know how it goes .We are here for each other!! peace!
__________________
Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Thanks for the replies already and for the encouraging advice!!
Dave, I'm interested into what you have to say. Feel free to message me if you have some time to spare. I replied to your whiteboard message and also added a link to what I believe you were inquiring about. Let me know if this is correct.
A couple of things: A sponsor should not approach you....you should seek one out. You will be waiting forever if you think one is going to come to you. Also, you mention that you want the kind of sobriety "that meets your needs." There is only one kind of sober that works. The kind where you don't drink, go to meetings, do service, call your sponsor, meet with your sponsor, and work the steps. A good fit with a sponsor is important, but in early sobriety....just pick a sponsor that has long term sobriety and do what he says. I guarantee he knows better than you and every day you go without a sponsor is dangerous. I'm telling you this from my own experience and because I want you to succeed. I just took a huge lesson in humility myself and I am only just a bit ahead of you in this journey and I think it would behoove you to not view yourself as victim (being deserted), or so special that there are only a few people who could sponsor you and you have to wait for that special person...Just find another sponsor pronto and get to work. I am not coming down on you cuz I know this is a process. You sound very much like me a couple of years ago. I used to bitch about my sponsor and took no notice that he was taking time out of his busy day and work schedule to talk to me, help me, and mentor me all totally free of charge. I was completely ungrateful. I know you are not trying to be that way and it's just that you aren't aware yet how some things sound and how you might come off. You do sound like you are off to a good start though and I am really glad you are here.
Regarding the hearing. Just pray for the best outcome, be honest, and accept you consequences. Tell what you have been doing regarding AA, but don't expect that it will eliminate consequences for you. Also, I think having some people from AA there might help (mostly it will help to have support for you emotionally and morally), but in the end, the judge will know that AA folks can't really say anything bad so it won't matter that much whether they are there or not.
__________________
Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
A couple of things: A sponsor should not approach you....you should seek one out. You will be waiting forever if you think one is going to come to you. Also, you mention that you want the kind of sobriety "that meets your needs." There is only one kind of sober that works. The kind where you don't drink, go to meetings, do service, call your sponsor, meet with your sponsor, and work the steps. A good fit with a sponsor is important, but in early sobriety....just pick a sponsor that has long term sobriety and do what he says. I guarantee he knows better than you and every day you go without a sponsor is dangerous. I'm telling you this from my own experience and because I want you to succeed. I just took a huge lesson in humility myself and I am only just a bit ahead of you in this journey and I think it would behoove you to not view yourself as victim (being deserted), or so special that there are only a few people who could sponsor you and you have to wait for that special person...Just find another sponsor pronto and get to work. I am not coming down on you cuz I know this is a process. You sound very much like me a couple of years ago. I used to bitch about my sponsor and took no notice that he was taking time out of his busy day and work schedule to talk to me, help me, and mentor me all totally free of charge. I was completely ungrateful. I know you are not trying to be that way and it's just that you aren't aware yet how some things sound and how you might come off. You do sound like you are off to a good start though and I am really glad you are here.
Whoa, pump the brakes here. I'm pretty sure I wasn't throwing myself a pity party here, just simply informing all of my current situation. I had no intentions of playing victim for my sponsor's relapse or that I was waiting for the right person to come and sweep me off my feet and lead me to sobriety. I was just simply saying I'm currently w/o a sponsor and I'm actively seeking another. As the old Buddha saying goes, "when the student is ready, the teacher will find you", which I firmly believe in. I don't think there is a right or wrong way in how to find a sponsor.
And yes, I will stand firmly on a sponsor that fits my needs. Why would I have a sponsor that cannot relate w/ me? How would I be able to maintain an honest sobriety with myself if the person who is giving me advice has walked different paths than I? I'm not looking for the perfect sponsor, just one that encourages me when things get tough, someone I feel comfortable seeking advice from, someone to look up to and emulate, a person that is accountable, and many more reasons.
Sorry if you were offended by my comments, but all I was trying to do is shed a little light on my circumstances.
Just a comment here... Not about what the others said, but in regard to a sponsor. My sponsor is a convicted felon. He spent time in prison in Germany, and also here in the USA. He had not sponsored anyone prior to me, after 18 years of sobriety. He told me after several months that he had been praying to God to send someone to him that he could maybe relate to him. He then told me laughing, that you never know what God will send you. Here is my felon sponsor, that got sent a retired cop, with a masters in psychology. My point here is you never know what God will do for you. "Mad Jack" my sponsor and I are very close to each other today. His influence, his care, his advise has been invaluable to me in my recovery. We are totally from different ends of the spectrum as far as our life is concerned. BUT, it works for me. Put it in the hand of God and he will provide.
Im not sure what this hearing you are having is, exactly. Are you going before the driver licence appeal division, or before a Judge in a courtroom??
Im a 2 time DUI, considered habitual offender with the 2 offenses in 7 yrs time.
I went to AA meetings, I stayed sober, I did everyhting I was suppose to do ... had a stack of signed slips, special letters fromj family, friends and AA members, a SAE which was required and costly.
In the state of Michigan one can only appeal to the board once a year. when I went the first time, I wasnt smart enough to lie, lol, and only had like 5 months sober, and the hearing officer said it wasnt enough sober time. I went back a year later, they gave me a restricted licence, with the blow-n-go for a year. That was costly too. After the year, I went back again and had everything they asked for ,,,... the signed attendance sheets, family and friends letters, SAE , etc, etc. Well, they allowed me to have the breathalizer taken out, and that wasgreat, but they still wanted to restrict me. I cried, and was like NO WAY!! I had done evertyhing they asked and they still wanted to restrict me?
I hired an attorney and took the case to circuit court , ( more money ) and we beat the DLAD of the secretary of state. Yes!! I still have the paper signed by the Judge, I was so happy that day. He slammed that gavel down and said, " Give this woman her licence back, for cryin out loud, she's practically a poster child for AA and she deserves to be reinstated". Soooooo, I paId more money and got back on the road legally.
I Pray to God I NEVER get behind the wheel again while drunk. I know today it is a privelage to drive, not my right.
Nobody from AA ever went with me to any of these proceedings. I didnt ask anyone and nobody offered, and thats okay with me. I did have letters from somej AA membrs tho and for that I was appreciative.
I prayed thruought the whole ordeal .... His will be done .
GRnc, welcome to the board. Have you thought of consulting with an attorney that specializes in DUIs? Another thought is to ask a judge what criteria needs to be met. Happycamper seemed to have accumulated a prescribed lot of evidence that she had rehabilitated herself. My feeling here is that you've got to show up with more than enough of the right stuff, and that you'll only get one chance at this, until some other amount of time has passed. Ask for help from local people that are familiar with what the local jurisdiction requires. Good luck!
100% Agree, I was happy to see the response from someone else in Michigan that has been though this. Heed her advice, communicate with her. If there is anything I can do let me know, (as I mentioned in the PM).
Sorry GRnc...would have been helpful to hear your sponsor relapsed....that speaks differently than being deserted. I do hope you find someone great soon. It's just been so important to me to have a sponsor. I didn't mean to sound too challenging.
Regarding the driving thing: I hope it goes well. I am extraordinarily lucky I never got a DUI...I got pulled over many times without consequences. My last drunk also ended in a car crash that somehow I was able to just walk away from.
I hope you have people to call and someone to just be accountable to during this whole process. It has got to be immensely stressful.
Mark
-- Edited by pinkchip on Wednesday 16th of February 2011 12:14:56 PM
__________________
Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Thanks to all that have reached out to my yesterday and today and especially for all the words of encouragement. I will update all tomorrow once they have made their decision.
Well, there may be many who disagree with me, but I read what you wrote about taking the steps with a sponsor and want to offer a different perspective. You wrote "I refuse to work on any of the steps that lie ahead of me w/o a sponsor as I feel this will give me false hope and I cannot fully trust my rationality with things. "
If you take the steps of A.A. as they are written, following the guidance in the Big Book, there is no reason "false hope" should emerge. A careful read of the steps and the book will reveal that it is not your rationality that matters-for many of us, its part of the problem. The trust goes not to self, but to our higher power, a power greater than our selves. I guess what really provoked me to stick my neck out on this issue is the statement "I refuse to work on any of the steps that lie ahead of me....(condition follows). Sounds like "Yeah, but..." syndrome. We either take the steps or we don't. Half measures avail us nothing. Not everyone in A.A., from the very beginning to the present, uses a sponsor to take the steps; some use their Step Study group, some use a couple of trusted people through the process, and some, GASP, some take the steps-thoroughly and effectively on their own. Not saying that is recommended-just that there is really no good reason to "refuse to take the steps that lie ahead...". Sobriety is the priority, not being perfect in how we get it and keep it.
Remember that most people couldn't care less that "we" haven't had a drink in X number of years. Most people aren't alcoholics. My wife hasn't had a drink in more than 5 years. So what...she's not an alcoholic. I truly believe that only another AA can appreciate what it means to be sober for even one day. Certainly a judge can see that it's good that your sober, but don't expect him to do anything different than he normally would just because your sober and in AA. I'm quite sure most all judges have seen and heard it all before. Remember too that we didn't put ourselves in the situations we're in over night, so we can hardly expect things to get better over night. Time takes time, and I'm told that time stands for Things I Must Earn.
Brian
__________________
Nothing ever truly dies. The universe wastes nothing. Everything is simply, transformed. :confuse:
I have had 2 DUI here in Michigan within 7 years. They said that the Sec. of state will look at me like a relapser. lol I told them that wasnt true. I never quit. After my 2nd dui was my first attempt at getting sober. It has been over 3 years now and going strong. I too had the fear, that the interviewer would not see how serious I was. Maybe because I have lived lies for to long. I was a fake. Until I came to the program. So for me I did everything that the Sec. of State asked and gave it over to my higher power. Go in there and know in your heart that the most important part is your sobriety. I didnt take anyone from AA with me either. I had letters from them telling of my involvement in the AA program. I had alot of letters from family and friends. I had the maximum allowed. I was into overkill :) i was granted the blow and go. A year later I had the blow and go with no infractions taken off. I then got all the same stuff together just like the first time but I mailed it in. If you read the form the second time around you do not have to have a hearing. You just have to have fulfilled everything that the sec. of state required. I now have my licence. Go to your interview. Answer what they ask. Dont ramble with a bunch of stuff they didnt ask. Believe me if you are sober and in the program like you say they will see it. If you have half a$$ed it along with the material they will see that too. I never got mad at the Sec. of State. It was the jolt I needed to get sober. I did it to myself and it was up to me to prove to Michigan I would not be a threat on the roads. I will never take the drivers license for granted again, by the grace of God. Good Luck and keep us updated.!!
